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August 6, 2019

The Best Sex Toys To Spice Up Your Long-Term Relationship

If your bedroom routine has become, well, routine, why not add a fun new toy to the mix? With these sex toy options for couples, you can’t go wrong.
Written by
Kait Scalisi
Published on
August 6, 2019
Updated on
What's changed?

When you’ve been with your partner for a long time, it’s not unusual to find yourselves in a sexual rut. One of the easiest ways to get your spark back is to incorporate toys into your sex life. Toys add both newness and variety—two keys to maintaining an intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex life. Plus, as their name implies, they’re fun!

That being said, some couples worry about adding toys in. They worry about how to bring up the topics of sex toys to their partner, that the toy will intimidate or replace their partner, or that using toys means there’s something wrong with them. In reality, nearly 50% of people have tried toys once and people who use toys report higher overall sexual satisfaction.

Top Sex Toys For Couples In Long-Term Relationships

If you’re ready to add more fun and pleasure to your sex life, check out these top picks for great couples’ toys:

For Every Couple...

In addition to decreasing your risk of small tears and irritation, using lube enhances sensation, making every lick, stroke, and thrust feel that much yummier. Cult favorite Uberlube is a silicone lube that’s condom-compatible and lacks any taste or smell. It’s great for any sort of skin-to-skin contact, from handjobs and fingering to oral sex to intercourse of all kinds.

For Couples Who Want To Add A Little Heat…

Try a massage candle. Massage helps you get out of your head and into your body, and these candles make it sexier and easier. They burn at a lower temperature than regular candles, and their “wax” is actually massage oil; it won’t burn or stick to you. Burn the candle to set the mood, then blow it out and drizzle the melted, warm-but-not-hot oil on for a sensual massage.

For Couples Using Toys Together For The First Time...

Start with something small and non-phallic like Fin by Dame Products. This finger vibrator slips between two fingers and feels like an extension of your own body. It’s small, unintimidating, and turns your lover’s hand into a vibrator, enhancing every stroke and motion.

For Couples Who Can’t Seem To Finish Together…

Try a vibrating cock ring like the Je Joue Mio. A hands-free option, cock rings help the penetrating partner stay harder longer and give the receiving partner a little extra oomf right where they crave it, against the clitoris or scrotum.

For Couples Who Want To Improve Upon The Hand Job…

Try a penis sleeve slide like the Tenga Flex. Its intricately designed interior—with nubs, texturing, protrusions, and more—offers a variety of stimulating possibilities and makes every stroke, grip, and twist a whole new adventure.

Toys add newness and variety—two keys to maintaining an intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex life.

Pro Tip: Make sure to use plenty of water-based lube with penis toys to provide nice glide and so the toy doesn’t get caught on any skin or hair. Try one of the many varieties of lube made by Sliquid.

For Long-distance Couples Or Those Who Travel Alone A Lot...

The We-Vibe Sync is a longstanding favorite for many reasons. It stimulates the g-spot and clitoris at once (or the perineum and prostate if used anally). It has a dozen different ways to use it. And it comes with the We-Connect app, which lets you control the toy from anywhere in the world with a bluetooth connection. The app also lets you chat via secure video and text to make the experience more personal and build excitement.

For Couples Who Want To Explore The Back Door…

The butt is the great equalizer, but not all anal toys are made the same! If you’re new to anal play, start with something small like the Fun Factory Bootie. The flexible neck makes it easy to insert, while the curve gives prostate-havers extra stimulation.

People who use toys report higher overall sexual satisfaction.

If you’re more advanced or looking for something totally different, check out b-Vibe’s Rimming Plug (also comes in Petite). This plug mimics the sensation of rimming with rotating beads—and adds vibration.

Pro Tip: Pair a butt toy with oral sex, removing the toy just as your partner climaxes to heighten their orgasm.

Whatever Toy You Decide On, Try And Try Again!

The first time you try something new—whether it’s using a sex toy with your partner or knitting, it can be a little awkward. That awkwardness is totally normal! The key is to try again, get creative in how you use the toy, and have fun!

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Kait Scalisi, MPH, is a certified sex educator and the founder of Passion by Kait, an award-winning sex blog. Through her writing, workshops and counseling, Kait empowers clients to create the sex lives they desire. Kait’s  neuroscience and public health background, as well as her experience as a person with disabilities, provides clients with a unique perspective on what it really takes to keep the spark alive—no matter what life throws at them.

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