The Best Sex Toys To Spice Up Your Long-Term Relationship
If your bedroom routine has become, well, routine, why not add a fun new toy to the mix? With these sex toy options for couples, you can’t go wrong.
When you’ve been with your partner for a long time, it’s not unusual to find yourselves in a sexual rut. One of the easiest ways to get your spark back is to incorporate toys into your sex life. Toys add both newness and variety—two keys to maintaining an intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex life. Plus, as their name implies, they’re fun!
That being said, some couples worry about adding toys in. They worry about how to bring up the topics of sex toys to their partner, that the toy will intimidate or replace their partner, or that using toys means there’s something wrong with them. In reality, nearly 50% of people have tried toys once and people who use toys report higher overall sexual satisfaction.
Top Sex Toys For Couples In Long-Term Relationships
If you’re ready to add more fun and pleasure to your sex life, check out these top picks for great couples’ toys:
For Every Couple...
In addition to decreasing your risk of small tears and irritation, using lube enhances sensation, making every lick, stroke, and thrust feel that much yummier. Cult favorite Uberlube is a silicone lube that’s condom-compatible and lacks any taste or smell. It’s great for any sort of skin-to-skin contact, from handjobs and fingering to oral sex to intercourse of all kinds.
For Couples Who Want To Add A Little Heat…
Try a massage candle. Massage helps you get out of your head and into your body, and these candles make it sexier and easier. They burn at a lower temperature than regular candles, and their “wax” is actually massage oil; it won’t burn or stick to you. Burn the candle to set the mood, then blow it out and drizzle the melted, warm-but-not-hot oil on for a sensual massage.
For Couples Using Toys Together For The First Time...
Start with something small and non-phallic like Fin by Dame Products. This finger vibrator slips between two fingers and feels like an extension of your own body. It’s small, unintimidating, and turns your lover’s hand into a vibrator, enhancing every stroke and motion.
For Couples Who Can’t Seem To Finish Together…
Try a vibrating cock ring like the Je Joue Mio. A hands-free option, cock rings help the penetrating partner stay harder longer and give the receiving partner a little extra oomf right where they crave it, against the clitoris or scrotum.
For Couples Who Want To Improve Upon The Hand Job…
Try a penis sleeve slide like the Tenga Flex. Its intricately designed interior—with nubs, texturing, protrusions, and more—offers a variety of stimulating possibilities and makes every stroke, grip, and twist a whole new adventure.
Toys add newness and variety—two keys to maintaining an intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex life.
Pro Tip: Make sure to use plenty of water-based lube with penis toys to provide nice glide and so the toy doesn’t get caught on any skin or hair. Try one of the many varieties of lube made by Sliquid.
For Long-distance Couples Or Those Who Travel Alone A Lot...
The We-Vibe Sync is a longstanding favorite for many reasons. It stimulates the g-spot and clitoris at once (or the perineum and prostate if used anally). It has a dozen different ways to use it. And it comes with the We-Connect app, which lets you control the toy from anywhere in the world with a bluetooth connection. The app also lets you chat via secure video and text to make the experience more personal and build excitement.
For Couples Who Want To Explore The Back Door…
The butt is the great equalizer, but not all anal toys are made the same! If you’re new to anal play, start with something small like the Fun Factory Bootie. The flexible neck makes it easy to insert, while the curve gives prostate-havers extra stimulation.
People who use toys report higher overall sexual satisfaction.
If you’re more advanced or looking for something totally different, check out b-Vibe’s Rimming Plug (also comes in Petite). This plug mimics the sensation of rimming with rotating beads—and adds vibration.
Pro Tip: Pair a butt toy with oral sex, removing the toy just as your partner climaxes to heighten their orgasm.
Whatever Toy You Decide On, Try And Try Again!
The first time you try something new—whether it’s using a sex toy with your partner or knitting, it can be a little awkward. That awkwardness is totally normal! The key is to try again, get creative in how you use the toy, and have fun!
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What Is The Best Lube?
What lube should you buy? There are sex lubes for all budgets, activities, and sensitivities. Water, silicone, or oil-based? Find the best lube for you!
The right kind of lube can make any kind of sex more enjoyable, whether you’re playing alone or with others. But how do you choose the right one for you?
Is Using Lube Ok?
Using lube doesn’t mean you’re inadequate or not attracted to your partner. It’s totally normal for the amount of personal lubricant you produce— how wet you are — to vary due to hormonal changes, dehydration, and other factors. And no matter how wet you are, the right lube can prevent chafing, intensify erotic sensation, and make condoms and sex toys safer and more effective.
Types Of Sex Lube
While the cheapest lubes can feel tacky and contain toxic or irritating ingredients, there are many excellent lubes available for under $20. Most of the lubes on the market fall into three main categories — water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. A few hybrid (water-silicone) and aloe-based lubes are also available.
How To Choose A Lube
Choosing a lube has a lot to do with the texture and feel you prefer, and how sensitive your skin is. Also consider what kind of sex you’ll be having (anal, vaginal, etc), where you’ll be having sex (in the pool, on top of your expensive satin sheets), and whether or not you’ll be using toys, condoms, or other barrier methods.
Water-based lube is easy to wash off sheets, toys, and you! It needs to be reapplied frequently — perfect for quickies, not so great for all-night sex marathons, and forget about bath/shower sex! Water-based lube will immediately dissolve back into its source.
Choosing a lube has a lot to do with the texture and feel you prefer, and how sensitive your skin is.
Water-based lubes can help condoms feel more natural and comfortable, and they reduce the chance of breakage. This goes for latex and non-latex condoms.
Avoid products with ingredients like glycerin, paraben and propylene glycol, especially if you’re planning on having vaginal sex. They can cause irritation, yeast infections and kill off healthy bacteria. Instead, choose a hypoallergenic, ph-balanced lube like Sliquid Satin. You also can’t go wrong with the old standby, Astroglide.
- Easy to wash off
- Works great with condoms
- Natural feel
- Wide range
- Affordable price
- Easy to find at the store
- Can be used with toys
- Need to reapply frequently
- Can’t be used in the shower or bath
- Some water-based lube has ingredients that can be irritating or cause yeast infections
Looking for an extra slippery lube that will withstand some hardcore action? Silicone-based lube is the way to go, especially for anal and water play.
Unlike the molecules in water, silicone molecules are too big to be absorbed into the skin. A high quality silicone lube, like Swiss Navy or Please Silicone Lubricant, lasts as long as you can and feels like silk against your skin. In fact, Silicone-based lubricants are highly recommended for people with sensitive skin.
Silicone-based lubricants are highly recommended for people with sensitive skin.
Silicone-based lubes are safe to use with condoms — hurrah! — and toys made from steel or glass. But you don’t want to get it on your silicone toys. Silicone-based lubes actually damage the surface of silicone toys, creating micro-abrasions where bacteria can hide.
- Long lasting
- Don’t need to use much
- Great for anal sex
- Can be used in the shower or bath
- Good for sensitive skin
- Safe with condoms
- Will damage some silicone toys
- So long lasting that it’s hard to wash off!
- More expensive
- Can stain sheets
Oil-based lubes seem to last forever. Unfortunately, that doesn’t just go for sex. They will also stay glued to your clothes, your sheets, and toys! Natural, plant-based oils like coconut, almond, and argan provide long-lasting lubrication while conditioning the skin and soothing sore muscles —ideal for erotic massage!
Treat yourself to luxurious, scented oils like Sensuous Beauty Love Balm, or pick up a jar of coconut or olive oil from the grocery store (just make sure you don’t put it back in the kitchen cabinet when you’re done!)
The downfall of oil-based lubes is that they destroy latex fast, upping your chances of pregnancy or contracting an STI, so they can’t be used with condoms. The same goes for latex diaphragms and toys.
- Long lasting
- Soothing and moisturizing for the skin
- Easily available
- Natural ingredients
- Pleasant taste
- Great for massage
- Can’t be used with condoms or anything else made of latex
- Can be hard to wash off
- May stain sheets
The downfall of oil-based lubes is that they destroy latex… so they can’t be used with condoms.
By now you might be excited to try them all. Luckily, most lubes are available in affordable “pillow packs,” so you can experiment with different textures, scents, and flavors without making a long-term commitment.