“They don’t call it a job for nothing!” Even Samantha Jones from “Sex And The City,” one of the most notorious sexually confident television characters of all time, wasn’t shy about how much work goes into performing oral sex on a penis. For starters, there’s:
- The constant need to salivate.
- Keeping your jaw wide open.
- Being mindful of teeth.
- Restraining yourself from gagging.
- Where do you put the cum?
- And what do you do with your hands!?
With so much effort on pleasing the recipient of a blowjob, it’s sometimes easy to forget that the person giving the blowing deserves to have a good time, too. After all, sex should be fun and feel good! Giving blowjobs shouldn’t be something we feel like we have to do, but something we want to do!
Hot BJ Tips For The Giver
If you’re working a little too hard, here are some easy strategies that can troubleshoot common stressors associated with blowjob-giving, and enhance the level of enjoyment for the giver:
1. As Always, Communicate About Your Oral Sex Needs!
Be sure to tell your partner what would help you be comfortable while giving a blowjob. How would you like them to touch or talk to you while you’re going down on them? Things to consider and discuss before the blowjob happens include where you would prefer them to ejaculate and how they should provide you with feedback.
Giving blowjobs shouldn’t be something we feel like we have to do, but something we want to do!
You might also give some thought to whether you’re OK with them touching your head while you’re sucking. Would dirty talk motivate you? Think about how you might feel not only comfortable, but empowered and sexy while blowing your partner.
2. Choose Your Blowjob Position Wisely
Finding a comfortable position is essential not just for the receiver, but for the partner going down as well. Which positions are most comfortable will vary from body to body, but any position that minimizes stress on joints, and allows blood to flow through limbs freely will make it less likely that body parts will start to hurt or fall asleep. For example, try propping a pillow under your knees if you opt to kneel, or extending legs long instead of bending them while sitting or leaning over in bed. Keeping your body comfortable means you’ll have more BJ endurance!
3. Focus Your Attention On The Tip Of The Penis
The most sensitive area of the penis is the head, also known as the glans. More specifically, there’s a spot on the underside where the head and the shaft meet, called the frenulum, that’s comprised of the highest concentration of nerve endings. This relatively small area of skin is easy to stimulate with your lips or tongue without having to open your mouth super wide or insert a large portion of the penis into your mouth. By spending most of your energy on this spot and only stimulating other areas that take more effort now and then, you can still provide a great deal of pleasure without tiring out your jaw.
4. Use Your Hands
While you’re focusing on the tip of the penis with your mouth, use your hands to provide stimulation to other parts of your partner’s body! You can massage the testicles with your palms, or stroke the thighs with your fingers.
Don’t be afraid to let your hands wander along your own feel-good body parts!
Another useful tactic is to mimic the action of your mouth going up and down the shaft of the penis by surrounding it with your hands and moving those instead. This technique gives a broader range of pleasure without depending solely on your mouth to do all the work.
5. Pleasure Yourself!
Don’t be afraid to let your hands wander along your own feel-good body parts! Stimulating your own nipples, genitals, buttocks, or any other area that feels sensual and pleasurable is 100% allowed. You could even use toys like a bullet vibe (one that fits in your panties could be used hands-free!) or a butt plug to stimulate yourself while simultaneously stimulating your partner.
6. Lube It Up
Great blowjobs are often super slippery! The slickness not only boosts pleasure for the recipient, but can also increase ease and comfort for the giver. While saliva is helpful, adding a tasty lubricant provides pleasurable moisture without having to stress about producing sufficient spit (note: while flavored lubes are great for oral on a penis, they might cause infection when used on a vulva!). Strokes and motions move more smoothly, leading to a more enjoyable experience for both parties.
Keeping your body comfortable means you’ll have more BJ endurance!
Blowjobs are fundamentally hot for the receiver—the sensuality and intimacy of having your genitals in someone’s mouth, the vantage point of being able to view your partner working hard to provide you with orgasmic pleasure, the opportunity to “lay back” and receive without doing work. But a lot of pleasure opportunity exists for the giver too! Finding ways to get more enjoyment out of giving blowjobs leads to more satisfying sex lives for everyone involved.
Myths and facts
Setting the record straight.
At O.school, we know that few things are one-size-fits-all. Read on for insights from Pleasure Professionals and other experts:
Check out what the O.school Community is buzzing about and send your questions and stories to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Sex Ed Videos
Previously recorded streams we love.