Kinky Sex Toys Beginners

Kinky Sex Toys For Beginners

Want to add a little something extra to your sex life? Try these BDSM sex toys to explore your kinky side!

4 minute read
read

“Kink” can mean many different things to different people. As a general principle, you can think of kink as encompassing desires, fantasies, and activities that fall outside the boundaries of what is considered “normal” by mainstream culture.

This can include role-playing, power exchange (where partners adopt dominant or submissive roles), the use of restraints (bondage) and toys, incorporating pain or other intense sensations, exploring ultra-specific fantasies (sex in a tree, face-sitting, unicorn masks—pretty much anything you can imagine!), and more.

Kink can be elaborate or simple, a fun extra or the main event.

Kink can be elaborate or simple, a fun extra or the main event. If you’re curious about incorporating elements of kink into your sex life—but don’t know where to start—adding toys during sex play can be a fun, low-pressure way to explore. Read on for some suggestions!

Sensation Play

One of the simplest—and most effective—ways to add a little “extra” to otherwise routine sex is to focus on sensations and body parts that are often ignored. In an effort to provide maximum pleasure to their partners, many people go straight for the genitals: slowing down and devoting more time and energy elsewhere can stoke sexual tension, enhance sensitivity, and amp up arousal.

Sensation Play Toys To Try

A feather tickler applied to your partner’s chest, butt, or limbs can increase anticipation and help them to surrender to the sensations in their body

A pinwheel can provide a range of sensations, from a light tickle to a firmer prick

A blindfold can heighten awareness of other sensations by temporarily putting the visual part of the brain on pause

Spanking And Sweet Pain

For many people, “kink” is synonymous with S&M—or sadism and masochism, the enjoyment of inflicting, or receiving, pain. While there’s much more to kink than whips and paddles, toys designed to deliver a judicious jolt can be a lot of fun. Some people find that mild pain can enhance the sexual experience by bringing on an endorphin rush and helping them to be fully present in their bodies.

Impact And Pain Toys To Try

A paddle can deliver a satisfying smack to the butt and thighs

A flogger can give a range of sensations, from a gentle “thudding” impact, to a sharp sting

Nipple clamps can be a wonderful way to inflict pleasurable pain on an erogenous zone; many kinds can be adjusted to provide just the right amount of pressure

Bondage And Power Play

Another core element of kink is power exchange, wherein partners adopt—and sometimes trade-off—dominant and submissive roles. Many people are very turned on by submitting completely to their partner’s desires—or demanding submission from their partner.

Bondage Toys To Try

Handcuffs or restraints can provide partial immobility, leading to a sensation of submission and surrender

Chastity devices let you lock down—literally!—your partner’s genitals, putting them under your power

A collar can be a powerful symbol of ownership and control

Kinky Role Play

Taking on a role that’s different than the one you inhabit in your everyday life can bring a powerful sense of liberation, adventure, and fun to your sex life. Many people enjoy playing with professional roles, gender expression, and social expectations to act out fantasies and free themselves from the constraints of “normal” behavior.

Role Play Toys To Try

A chest harness can help you to embody your inner warlock, Valkyrie, or medieval dungeon master

Cat ears—or other animal costumes—can be a fun way to give voice to your animalistic desires

Sexy lingerie—whatever your gender!—can be a fun way to exaggerate, or subvert, gender norms

Trying Kinky Play With Your Partner

Kink can be fun, satisfying, and empowering. It can encourage closeness and bring new depth to your sex life. As with anything new, however, it is best approached with care, sensitivity, and plenty of discussion.

Kink can be fun, satisfying, and empowering. It can encourage closeness and bring new depth to your sex life.

If you’re thinking about incorporating kinky play into sex, talk with your partner before, during, and after; listen to their concerns, address your own, and don’t be afraid to slow down or stop if something doesn’t feel good. Particularly when using toys designed to restrain or inflict pain, safety should be your number-one priority: take time to read instructions, use them only as directed, and check in frequently with your partner to avoid injury.

Although kink encompasses a whole world of experiences and sensations, it doesn’t have to be mysterious or complicated. Feel free to experiment, be silly, use your imagination—and have fun!

Related Articles:

What’s The Deal With Spanking?

How To Do Bondage For Beginners

What Is Sensation Play?

How To Introduce Sex Toys To Your Partner

The Best Sex Toys To Spice Up Your Long-Term Relationship

How To Buy A Sex Toy

References

Video transcript

So, blindfolds. Super fun. And what can you use for a blindfold? Anything really. Scarf, tie, doesn't matter. Anything goes over the eyes. I have this awesome little dollar store padded sleep mask, perfect blindfold. I also have sexy leather. Yeah. And a fancy one I bought off the internet. Has even a fun little leash on the front of it. Blindfolds are amazing because you totally give up control to your partner, but not really in a scary way. You just let them touch you anywhere. It doesn't even have to be painful. There doesn't have to be power exchanged. There doesn't have to be anything. It's just letting go and getting out of your head for a bit and feeling the sensations that your partner provides.