How To Do Bondage For Beginners

Are you interested in tying up your lover? Read on for some tantalizing tips on how to bring a little bondage into your bedroom.

How To Do Bondage For Beginners

How To Do Bondage For Beginners

How To Do Bondage For Beginners

3 minute read

Does the idea of tying up your lover get you all hot and bothered? Has your partner told you about a restraint fantasy that’s got them tingly? Maybe you’re just looking for something new to try together. Either way, tying your partner up in bed can be a lot of fun. It also might be a little confusing or intimidating if it’s your first time trying it. Read on for tips to help you navigate your first experiences being a “rope top” (that’s the person who does the tying up!).

Find a nice rope, decide on a safe word, and make sure you have safety scissors on hand! Bondage tips from Pleasure Professional Mona Darling.

Get Consent

First, and most importantly, are you both into it? Is your partner excited about the idea of being tied up? Are you happy to try restraining them? If the answers to these questions are all an enthusiastic  “Yes!”—then awesome! The stars are aligned and you’re ready to give it a try. Remember, feeling a little nervous is fine, but if either of you feels anxious, or uncertain, then set bondage aside for now. If you’re curious, but don’t feel quite ready yet, try using your dirty talk skills to talk about how you would tie each other up without actually doing it. Talking out a fantasy can be super hot, and can help you know what you want to try when you do eventually feel ready.

Talking out a fantasy can be super hot, and can help you work out what you want to try when you do eventually feel ready.

Next it’s important to figure out what kind of bondage is hot and what’s not so hot. Check in with your partner about what would turn them on. Do they want their hands tied together—or to the headboard? Do they want their feet tied? Is silky rope exciting for them, or would they prefer cuffs? Giving your partner what they want can send them into ecstasy—but getting it wrong can make them uncomfortable or even scared, so make sure you’re on the same page.

Bondage Equipment And Sex Toys

There are so many options to choose from: You can start with a scarf that feels soft and sexy on your partner’s wrists; you might pull off the belt or stockings you’re wearing and use those; or you can go shopping for fluffy purple wrist cuffs together beforehand. No matter what you decide, you want something that is going to be comfortable for your partner, and something you are confident using (maybe don’t try any complicated rope tricks just yet!). You could also check out an under the bed bondage kit—this nifty kit sets up under the mattress so that the velcro wrist and ankle cuffs are ready when you want to use them.

You can start with a scarf that feels soft and sexy on your partner’s wrists; you might pull off the belt or stockings you are wearing and use those; you can go shopping for fluffy wrist cuffs together beforehand...

Safety First!

When planning your bondage fun, be sure to consider safety. This means making sure the restraints are not too tight—you don’t want to cause any nerve damage during your carnal romp! You should also make sure that your partner can get out of their restraints quickly if they need to. If the restraint is too tight, or if they start panicking, or maybe if they just need to go to the bathroom, you want to be able to release the ties easily. Having safety scissors on hand is a good idea if you’re using rope, scarves, or a similar material to tie with, even just for peace of mind.

Beginners Bondage Equipment

  • Our First Bondage Kit - Wrist and ankle cuffs, plus an eye mask for added fun.
  • Silky bondage rope - For a sexy silky feel against your partner’s skin.
  • Bound to Please Neoprene Restraints - Comfy and easy to adjust velcro cuffs for wrists or ankles.

Happy bonding!

Louise Bourchier, MPH

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Louise Bourchier is a sex educator and sex researcher with 8 years experience in the field. She teaches about sexual health, sexual pleasure, and communication in relationships through workshops, live-streams, and with written content. Using a sex-positive approach, a dash of humour, and bag full of fun props, Louise’s style of sex education for adults is not what you got in high school! Since 2011 she has taught over a hundred workshops to a wide range of audiences, from university students, to refugees, to medical professionals, to adult store clientele. She has a Masters of Public Health, and is currently a PhD candidate.

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