How To Do Bondage For Beginners

Are you interested in tying up your lover? Read on for some tantalizing tips on how to bring a little bondage into your bedroom.

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The Quickie
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Does the idea of tying up your lover get you all hot and bothered? Has your partner told you about a restraint fantasy that’s got them tingly? Maybe you’re just looking for something new to try together. Either way, tying your partner up in bed can be a lot of fun. It also might be a little confusing or intimidating if it’s your first time trying it. Read on for tips to help you navigate your first experiences being a “rope top” (that’s the person who does the tying up!).

Find a nice rope, decide on a safe word, and make sure you have safety scissors on hand! Bondage tips from Pleasure Professional Mona Darling.

Get Consent

First, and most importantly, are you both into it? Is your partner excited about the idea of being tied up? Are you happy to try restraining them? If the answers to these questions are all an enthusiastic  “Yes!”—then awesome! The stars are aligned and you’re ready to give it a try. Remember, feeling a little nervous is fine, but if either of you feels anxious, or uncertain, then set bondage aside for now. If you’re curious, but don’t feel quite ready yet, try using your dirty talk skills to talk about how you would tie each other up without actually doing it. Talking out a fantasy can be super hot, and can help you know what you want to try when you do eventually feel ready.

Talking out a fantasy can be super hot, and can help you work out what you want to try when you do eventually feel ready.

Next it’s important to figure out what kind of bondage is hot and what’s not so hot. Check in with your partner about what would turn them on. Do they want their hands tied together—or to the headboard? Do they want their feet tied? Is silky rope exciting for them, or would they prefer cuffs? Giving your partner what they want can send them into ecstasy—but getting it wrong can make them uncomfortable or even scared, so make sure you’re on the same page.

Bondage Equipment And Sex Toys

There are so many options to choose from: You can start with a scarf that feels soft and sexy on your partner’s wrists; you might pull off the belt or stockings you’re wearing and use those; or you can go shopping for fluffy purple wrist cuffs together beforehand. No matter what you decide, you want something that is going to be comfortable for your partner, and something you are confident using (maybe don’t try any complicated rope tricks just yet!). You could also check out an under the bed bondage kit—this nifty kit sets up under the mattress so that the velcro wrist and ankle cuffs are ready when you want to use them.

You can start with a scarf that feels soft and sexy on your partner’s wrists; you might pull off the belt or stockings you are wearing and use those; you can go shopping for fluffy wrist cuffs together beforehand...

Safety First!

When planning your bondage fun, be sure to consider safety. This means making sure the restraints are not too tight—you don’t want to cause any nerve damage during your carnal romp! You should also make sure that your partner can get out of their restraints quickly if they need to. If the restraint is too tight, or if they start panicking, or maybe if they just need to go to the bathroom, you want to be able to release the ties easily. Having safety scissors on hand is a good idea if you’re using rope, scarves, or a similar material to tie with, even just for peace of mind.

Beginners Bondage Equipment

Happy...bonding!

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Video transcript

Okay, so, what can you use to tie your partner up? Well, really, anything. I have a collection of scarfs, I have some really pretty rope I found on the internet, but I've found amazing rope on, at Home Depot. You can just go into a local hardware store and feel the rope, see what it feels like. Does it feel nice on your skin? Is it soft? Does it bend well? Anything you want. The things you wanna keep in mind when you're doing bondage is that you wanna make sure that you don't bind any joints, you wanna make sure that people have safety signals, and safe words, so that they can, if they can't use their mouth, they have something that they can shake, or drop, to let you know that there is a problem. Or if they have a, you know, just make sure that they have a safety signal. So if like, you know, your arms are gonna feel numb, they can tell you without braking the scene. And then, finally, you wanna have safety scissors. Safety scissors are special scissors that have this awesome little spot right there that it can slip in between anything. Shoelace, saran wrap, whatever you wanna use, and cut it away from the skin, in case things get too tight. Or you need to get somebody out quickly.