For many people with vulvas, sexual arousal can lead to vaginal lubrication — better known as getting wet. Vaginal wetness can be an indication that your partner is enjoying what you’re doing, but it’s important not to assume that someone’s turned on just because they’re wet — or that they’re not turned on just because their pussy isn’t dripping. Wetness is not a substitute for enthusiastic verbal consent; always take the time to communicate with your partner, and when in doubt, ask.
Whether you’re sharing intimacy with someone in person, or from afar (by phone, sext, or online) knowing that they’re dripping with arousal can be a major turn-on. So how do you make your partner wet? Read on for some ideas.
What is wetness?
Wetness occurs when the vagina produces fluid, often in response to sexual arousal. When someone with a vagina gets turned on, blood-flow to the tissues of the vulva increases, stimulating glands in the vagina to produce fluid; fluid may also come from the walls of the vaginal canal. These fluids help to protect delicate genital tissue from friction and lubricate the vagina to ease penetration. Wetness can also increase pleasure for both partners, providing lubrication for penises, hands, pussies (or other body parts) to glide smoothly against the vulva.
Does everyone get wet?
Not everyone with a vagina gets wet in response to arousal. People who have lower levels of the hormone estrogen — including people who have experienced menopause, some trans folks, and those with certain medical conditions— may produce lower levels of lubrication, or may not get wet at all. On the flip side, someone’s body may respond involuntarily to a certain sensation (like clitoral stimulation), even if they’re not interested in sex in the moment.
It’s important to note that each person is unique: What gets one person’s juices flowing might do absolutely nothing for someone else. Stress, anxiety, and relationship challenges can all make it more difficult to get wet. And making someone wet often takes time. When it comes to making a partner wet or getting wet yourself, mindfulness of individual differences — and plenty of patience — can be helpful.
How to make a girl wet
There are many ways to make your partner wet. Read on for some ideas.
1. Use your hands.
The hands are uniquely suited to provide the vulva with a variety of sensations, from gentle, feathery stroking, to firm rubbing, to deep penetration. Try starting outside of your partner’s underwear, with delicate, light movements, beginning at the top of the labia and stroking downwards over their clit. Light, teasing movements that build anticipation can be a great way to make someone wet. Once your partner starts to get turned on — you can tell if their clit becomes hard and swollen, or, better yet, by asking them what feels good — you can experiment with different levels of pressure and speed.
2. Use your mouth.
For people with sensitive vulvas who like an extra gentle touch, your tongue can provide just the right amount of pressure; the mouth’s natural moisture can also encourage someone’s pussy to get wet. Some people find the sensation of warmth and moisture highly arousing: Try using your mouth on their nipples or other erogenous zones. Kissing, too, can be a great turn-on—many people get soaking wet during a good makeout.
3. Use your words.
The brain is often referred to as the biggest erogenous zone: Imagining your crush naked, reading erotica, watching porn, or remembering a hot sexual encounter can be as much of a turn-on as being touched. When it comes to making someone wet, your words can be just as powerful as your hands: Telling your partner what you’d like to do with them, describing your favorite parts of their body, and even telling them how wet you want to make them, can all be extremely arousing. Especially if you’re trying to get someone wet from a distance, by sexting, phone, or online, getting creative with your words is a great way to go.
Another thing to keep in mind when you’re trying to make someone wet — communication is hot. If you want to know how to make your partner wet, ask them. Not only can it help you understand what they like (after all, every person, and thus every pussy, is different) it can be a natural gateway to dirty talk as you encourage them to describe what turns them on.
Lubing up can be a great way to promote wetness and enhance pleasure. Using lube while you pleasure your partner with your hands can kick-start their own natural lubrication process. It can also serve as a substitute for those whose vaginas don’t get wet on their own. Water-based or silicon-based lubes are often a great choice: their slipperiness is similar to that of vaginal secretions, they won’t degrade latex condoms or gloves, and they’re safe for many skin types. If you’re not sure what kind to use, it can be helpful to experiment with different types of lube to find which one works best for you.
5. Try more good, wet fun.
While it’s important for penetration — whether with fingers, a penis, or a toy — the slippery stuff has lots of other fun uses: A wet vulva can enhance the experience of rubbing against your partner without penetration, also known as frottage, outercourse, or, in the case of vulva-on-vulva sex, tribadism or “tribbing.” For many people with pussies, this type of sensation is extremely satisfying, as it provides stimulation to the entire vulva, including the deep structures of the clit under the skin, while letting them control the speed and pressure.
6. Use a vibrator.
While it’s best to incorporate toys for penetrative play after someone is wet, you can also use toys to help someone get wet. Using a vibrator on stimulate the clit, or teasing your partner by moving the vibrator around or on around their vulva can be a turn on. Talk to your partner about what they like and use your fingers for added stimulation and to feel if your partner is getting wet. If they are, slip a finger into their vagina while gently keeping the vibrator on their clit. Move your finger slowly in and out of their wet vagina. Pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues to gauge if, and how much, your partner is enjoying this.
What if you or your partner can’t get wet?
For some people, medical conditions, hormone treatments, or age can affect the ability of the vagina to get wet in response to stimulation. The inability to get wet can sometimes come with feelings of embarrassment or shame. If your partner struggles to get wet, approach the topic with sensitivity and patience. It can also be a good idea to encourage them to speak with a healthcare provider in case there’s an underlying issue. And even for those whose vaginas don’t get wet on their own, lube can help to provide the pleasurable, slippery sensation of a super-wet vulva.
The bottom line
Every body is different. Getting someone with a vulva wet can look different for different people. Some people may need you to use your words, your fingers, mouth, toys, a combination or all of those things, or something completely different. Communicate with your partner to find out what they’re into. Once you get good at figuring out how to make your partner wet, you may want to start experimenting with how to make someone orgasm.