Oral sex on someone with a vulva is one of the most popular sexual activities out there—and for good reason! Cunnilingus (the technical name for eating pussy) stimulates the clitoris directly. Since most people with a vulva need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, it can be a tried-and-true technique for bringing your partner to climax (1).

Try these top five pussy-eating tips for pleasing your partner:

Tip 1: Tease The Whole Pussy

While it’s fabulous to focus in on the clit—especially when your partner is at the height of their arousal—it can be even better to warm things up by stimulating the whole area. You can start up by the belly button or hips and make a trail of kisses over the pubic mound, or start down by the knees and work your way up to the inner thighs. Playfully lick and kiss up, down, and around the labia, the perineum (also called the taint, it’s the sensitive stretch of skin between the anus and the vagina), and the vaginal opening. As things heat up, you can start zeroing in on the clitoris. 

Remember to check in with your partner to make sure they’re enjoying what you’re doing; some people love attention to their labia, perineum, and vagina during oral sex—others, not so much. 

You can start up by the belly button or hips and make a trail of kisses over the pubic mound.

Tip 2: Get The Clit Pressure Right

Everyone likes a different amount of pressure on their clit and around their vulva. Some people’s clits are so sensitive that even light pressure feels intense, while too much pressure may be uncomfortable. Starting with light, teasing pressure can help build arousal as well as letting you gauge what kind of touch your partner likes. Ask your partner what feels best, and pay attention to their body language. 

For many people, the clitoris becomes less sensitive the more turned on they get (2). Pay attention to signs of arousal: Is your partner’s clit getting hard, or does it appear larger? Is lubrication (wetness) from the vagina increasing? Have their body movements, breathing, or the sounds they’re making changed? Someone who’s more turned on may enjoy deeper, firmer pressure on their clit.

As well as stimulating it with your tongue, you can try gently sucking on the clit. Sucking on the clit can lead to increased blood flow, making sensations more pleasurable; research has even suggested that clitoral suction (a sucking sensation on the clit) can be helpful for people who struggle to reach orgasm (3).

Tip 3: Find The Right Rhythm To Orgasm

Experiment with different rhythms to find out what your partner likes. Try different speeds, and then experiment with mixing them up. Do they like a consistent rhythm? Do they like pauses? For many people, teasing feels great at the beginning, but as they get closer to orgasm they need a steadier rhythm to get there. If your partner is nearing climax, try to keep the rhythm consistent. 

If you can’t tell what rhythm your partner prefers, don’t be afraid to ask directly.

If your partner is nearing climax, try to keep the rhythm consistent.

Tip 4: Add A Finger Or Two During Oral Sex

Tongue getting tired? Take a break and let your hand take over. If you’re new to eating pussy, or you’ve been licking for a while, your tongue and jaw may get tired. Switching to your hand allows the receiver to still enjoy the sensations and build arousal. You can also use both your mouth and hand together! Many people find it pleasurable to have a finger or toy in the vagina or the anus during oral sex.

For extra sensation—particularly if your partner’s vulva is less sensitive, or if they like more focused stimulation—you can alternate between your mouth and a vibrator.

Tongue getting tired? Take a break and let your hand take over.

Tip 5: Become A Pussy Connoisseur 

Some people feel anxious about a partner going down on them because they are afraid their pussy will smell or taste bad. In fact, many people enjoy the pussy’s unique aroma and flavor; there’s even evidence that its smell may promote sexual desire and decrease stress (4). As the giver, you can reassure your partner by complimenting their smell, taste, and appearance down there. Each pussy does have a distinct smell and taste, and a good pussy eater will appreciate this as part of the experience. 

Now it’s time to practice: Next time you’re getting down with your partner, use these top tips to take your pussy eating to the next level. Your partner will thank you!