Despite the amount of pleasure many people get from anal play, good, solid information on giving rim jobs is still largely lacking. And for sort-of understandable reasons: while ass play is finally coming into the mainstream conversation, much discourse around anything involving the anus has historically been associated with the medical field (colonoscopies, rectal exams). And that’s just straight up not sexy.
Behold: the rim job. The sexy second-cousin to penetrative ass play, rimming offers a fun and thrilling way to take oral sex up a notch, or just engage in some stimulating play.
What Is Rimming?
Glad you asked! A rim job involves one partner using their tongue to tease, lick, encircle, and pleasure the anus of another partner. Because there are so many nerve endings in this location, the result can be extraordinarily pleasurable.
How To Give A Rim Job
Like any sexual act, there is a wide variety of techniques that can help prepare your partner for anal sex, or just enhance another sex act (a hand job or fingering, for example). Some swear by the flat-tongue method, wherein they lick in long, flat strokes, whereas others love to penetrate the anus with the tongue, or use the tongue to “make out” with the anatomy just as they would another mouth.
The rim job offers a fun and thrilling way to take oral sex up a notch.
Rim Job Safety And Hygiene
Because this is an area of the body that also has contact with fecal matter, make sure to wash, wash, wash. Wash your hands/toys/anything you use to penetrate (if you’re penetrating), and use mouthwash after rimming to kill off bacteria. Your partner should also wash their anus well prior to receiving a rim job (though lay off baby wipes, as they can irritate the skin - the best cleanser is a gentle, non-allergenic, non-scented soap).
Why Does Rimming Feel So Good?
Everyone has varying levels of sensitivity and not everyone’s into being rimmed, but more people might be than you think. The anus has a lot of pleasure-giving nerve endings, especially just around the opening, that can make rimming feel really good. The 'taboo' nature of butt play can also add an extra erotic charge.
How Do I Know If My Partner Is Into It?
The same way you get to know about anything you want to know when it comes to your partner’s pleasure - just ask! It’s quite possible they don’t know, and in that case, it’s always fun and sexy to explore together.
Myths and facts
Setting the record straight.
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What Is An Anal Orgasm?
Do butt orgasms exist? Do you want to have one? Tips, techniques, and toys for anal pleasure and orgasm.
Did you know you could have an anal orgasm?
The whole anal area is highly sensitive, and for many people, highly pleasurable. Even just external stimulation with fingers or a mouth and tongue can be a lot of fun. But having this area of the body touched takes some getting used to. Not only do you have to get physically comfortable, but you need to be mentally relaxed to really enjoy yourself.
If you’d like to experiment with anal penetration, relaxation becomes even more important. Penetration won’t feel good, and might not even be possible, if your body isn’t fully relaxed - and your body will follow your mind’s cues.
But if you can get past the idea that it feels a little strange or taboo, there’s a lot of pleasure to be had!
Anal Stimulation And Sensation
People of all genders can enjoy anal sex, both because of how sensitive the area is, and because the genitals can also be indirectly stimulated through anal play. These areas combine to create pleasure and orgasm.
The whole anal area is highly sensitive, and for many people, highly pleasurable.
Because the membrane between the vagina and rectum is thin, anal penetration stimulates these areas in a way that’s similar to vaginal penetration. In fact, for some people it’s even better because the extra layer of protection keeps the g-spot stimulation from being too intense. And for people with a prostate, anal penetration is the best way to access that area for pleasure.
Multiple forms of stimulation are often the best way to go, no matter what kind of sex you’re having. There’s even a name for it: a blended orgasm. That’s when you have an orgasm from stimulation of multiple erogenous zones at once.
Butt Penetration And Toys
If you’d like to try having an anal orgasm, you can do so with fingers, toys, or a penis. Just keep in mind that for anal play, especially first-time anal play, it’s important to start small before you attempt inserting larger objects.
Because both the prostate and g-spot need similar stimulation, you can often use the same types of toys. Just be sure any toy you’re using is anal safe! You’ll find dildos and vibrators with a pronounced curve are the most useful.
With curved toys, rather then using them in a thrusting motion, use a pivoting motion pressing forward towards the front of the person’s body. The same thing is true if you’re using fingers -- you’ll want to aim up towards the anterior wall (towards the belly) to find the prostate or g-spot.
While some people can have an orgasm from anal penetration alone, it’s pretty rare. Most people need to have additional stimulation of the clitoris or the penis.
If you’re having sex with a penis, you may need to experiment with positions to get the best angle. Depending on the curve of the penis, missionary sex might miss the mark. Try having the Receiver on top. This will give lots of flexibility for deciding how fast and how deep penetration will go, as well as allowing room to experiment with different angles.
Maximize Pleasure By Touching Other Erogenous Zones
As a bonus, everyone will have their hands free to provide additional stimulation or hold toys. This position also allows easy access to the other erogenous zones, such as the penis or clit, of the person on top.
As much fun as butt stuff can be, it’s certainly not for everyone. There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t like how it feels, or if you don’t even like the idea of trying it. But if you feel curious and open to some exploration, you might be surprised by how good, and even orgasmic, it can feel.