Labeling something as taboo is highly subjective because everyone’s taste, morals, and social customs are different — especially when it comes to an act as personal as sex. What one person considers taboo sex might be perfectly normal for another, and vice versa. In that sense, as long as it’s consensual and legal, no sex is taboo.
To prove that no type of legal and consensual sex is objectively outside the norm, we posed the question: What sex act(s) do you love that society might see as "taboo," but is actually perfectly normal? We specifically reached out to people in the sex ed industry, but also publicly posted the question on helpareporter.com, Twitter, and the O.school Instagram account.
Several people responded and their answers show just how diverse (and pleasurable) the spectrum of sex can be.
“My husband and I have been married for 13 years and recently discovered the swingers lifestyle. We visit sex clubs and sex parties and ‘hard swap’ with other couples. Now, I know, many people may see this as taboo, but it is perfectly normal. The most important thing is to communicate with your partner before and after swinging or visiting a sex club.”
— A sex consultant in the New York Metro area who preferred to stay anonymous
2. Sex in public, plus threesomes
“My top one would be sex in public places or two female threesomes.”
— Joey Kane, fitness entrepreneur
“As a BDSM [bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism] educator, I'm asked a lot [about] what my favorite sex act is, and people expect it to be something crazy and wild and maybe involving a chainsaw.
In reality, I have to say that bondage is my favorite piece to tie into sex. As someone with anxiety, fretting about what I *should* be doing has always been a key component of sex for me, but when I'm tied up, either with rope or leather cuffs, I quite literally cannot do anything else, so that really allows me to find peace and presence in my body, and truly enjoy the moment.”
— Lina Dune, BDSM sex educator
➡ For restraints, we recommend: Sportsheets Under The Bed Restraint System
“I would say the best taboo sex is BDSM. My favorite acts are restraining my partner then slapping, choking, biting, and pulling her hair. The general rough play can intensify the sexual act to a whole new level.
This taboo act works best when you have one partner [who’s] the submissive pleasurer type and the other partner is the dominating [who] craves control type.”
— Marcus, co-founder of OhMy.ca
5. Food play
“Food play! Specific fave is squirting cream on tummies and chests and having someone lick it off” -O.school IG follower, anonymous
“[I]t would be pegging. For me, being pegged by my wife is a wonderful act of intimacy that brings us closer together. It’s a sensual, intimate act requiring trust, connection, and the ability to read each other.”
— Franklin Veaux, author of More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory
➡ For pegging, we recommend: Sportsheets Entry Level Harness
7. Roleplay and dirty talk
“I love roleplay with a little dom and sub as well as dirty talking. Any form of roleplay is amazing to me. I love it to change day by day — one day I'm a student and he's a teacher, the next I'm a lost tourist and he's my guide. [W]hatever the scene, it gets kinky!”
— Emma Kowalski, who works at Xtreme Events
8. Inviting others to join the fun
“Watching my partner with other lovers” -O.school IG follower, anonymous
"Sex acts that [were] considered taboo are not considered taboo anymore. 2019 has been a progressive year for so many! My favorite act that is still considered taboo to some... is ass eating or ‘rimming.’ I think it’s a fun foreplay act and also feels great for [all genders]. Use some flavored lube to really get the party started, enjoy!”
— Tasha Reign, adult actress, sex expert, director and producer
10. Anal massage
“I had a private side job as a sexual therapist, my expertise being in healing and sensual massage with latex gloves or finger gloves … I became the ‘girl to go to’ for delivering an amazing back, rump, and anal massage, including deep penetration if desired. When performed with sensitivity and love, it is an amazing, electrical experience.
Today, I teach couples how to give healing and sensual massage to each other. I also teach this (anal massage) technique (in private sessions).”
— Jazmin Light, healing and sensual massage therapist
➡ For a prostate massage, we recommend: Anero Eupho Tridant
11. Intense nipple play
“I enjoy sucking on my girlfriend's nipple as if she were breastfeeding me... the thought of lactation turns me on.” - Wayne, Massage Therapist
➡ For nipple play, we recommend: Sportsheet Collar With Nipple Clamps
12. Being degraded
“I love to be degraded and feel ‘used’ during sex, consensually and with a partner I trust. It feels taboo to talk about, especially because I advocate for women’s sexual empowerment as a career. Yet I think that there’s something intensely erotic about taking the things that feel opposite from our personality, and sexualize them.
I take criticism very poorly in real life, and am sensitive to any emotional disconnect or negative comment from my partner. Yet, in the bedroom, I kind of want all my internalized shame to be brought to the surface. I want to be called a slut, worthless, trash, meaningless — but would be heartbroken if my partner told me those things and meant it (aside from being a slut, which is verifiably accurate and I am totally cool with owning and reclaiming that word).
It’s actually pretty normal to fetishize and sexualize things that feel like ‘transgressions’ or ‘taboos.’ Our mind can use kink and sexuality to safely explore those feelings in a consensual way. I personally don’t really see any sexual desire, no matter how unique, as ‘abnormal’ because we all have things that turn us on that are strange. (For instance, I once masturbated to a song just because it reminded me of a partner; I also once masturbated to a congressional hearing on C-SPAN. I have no idea why.) But I’ve come to realize that we are actually all pretty similar in that we are all ‘abnormal’ in a sense. [N]ormal doesn’t really exist, so in essence, being abnormal is normal.”
— Lorrae Bradbury, founder of Slutty Girl Problems, and a sex, love, and empowerment coach
13. Choking and Spitting
“Choking: Lightly restricting your partners airways is very delightful and a rush when done consensually. It's a great way to integrate trust, intimacy, and a powerful tool with dominance and submission.
Spitting: It's common in dominance and submission to use spit, whether that's spitting in someone's mouth or on their body. While some may find this degrading, it's actually super hot and intense. Once again, it's something I love doing with someone I trust sexually for my BDSM needs!”
— Julieta Chiara, sex blogger normalizing female sexuality and empowerment
The bottom line
If you look at how diverse people’s favorite “taboo” sex acts are, it reaffirms that there’s really no such thing as normal when it comes to sex. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, making sex an activity that’s open to interpretation and experimentation. Curious about spicing up your sex life? Try some “taboo sex acts” by exploring our catalog of BDSM and kink sex toys.