Oral Sex
July 23, 2019

Going Down: What Not To Do!

You want oral sex moves that will curl your partner’s toes, not kill their buzz. So, what should you avoid? Read on for tips of what not to do.
Written by
Louise Bourchier, MPH
Published on
July 23, 2019
Updated on
What's changed?
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Going down, eating pussy, giving a blowjob—whatever you call it, giving oral sex can be an intimate, fun, and all-around hot activity. That said, there are a few things people do that can seriously detract from the pleasure. So when you’re looking to curl your partner’s toes instead of killing their buzz, avoid these common pitfalls:

Don’t Get Distracted

Don’t get distracted thinking about something else and forget your technique. Attention and enthusiasm go a long way when you’re going down. If your mind wanders and your attention slips, not only will your skills suffer, but your partner won’t feel very special when they see that disengaged look on your face.

Attention and enthusiasm goes a long way.

Don’t Suck Too Hard!

This one applies to both penises and vulvas. Gentle sucking feels great for a lot of people, but not many people enjoy very strong sucking (although some do!). Start off gentle and check in with your partner before ramping up the suction.

Don’t Forget To Ask For Feedback

The people who give the best oral sex tailor their technique to what their partner wants, rather than sticking to signature moves. A few simple “yes”/”no” questions can help elevate your performance from just OK to awesome. Try these:

“Is that a good pressure?”

“Do you want me to keep going?”

“Is that a good speed?”

Don’t Press Too Hard On The Clit

If you’re eating pussy it’s important to remember that the clitoris is very sensitive—with an estimated 8,000 nerve endings!—so too much pressure can be painful. If your partner tells you things are getting too intense, or they’re pulling back from your face, dial down the pressure and consider taking a break to stimulate them in other ways.

The people who give the best oral sex tailor their technique to what their partner wants rather than sticking to signature moves.

Don’t Fall Asleep!

This might sounds obvious, but staying awake is key to giving good head. Be careful if you’re sleepy after a few drinks and a long night of dancing—it’s bad form to end up napping in your partner’s lap.

Don’t Blow Air Into The Vagina

Did you know that this can actually be dangerous? It’s rare, but blowing air directly into the vagina can lead to a fatal air bubble in the bloodstream. On the other hand, teasing the pussy by blowing a little air onto its outer parts is not only totally safe, but feels awesome.

Don’t Put Up With Discomfort While You’re Going Down

Sometimes your jaw cramps, your tongue gets tired, or your neck gets sore. If your partner is nearing orgasm, you might feel willing to put up with a little discomfort for a moment, but you should never tolerate extended or severe discomfort. You are a participant too, and your enjoyment also matters! Suggest taking a break, using your hand, or substituting a toy instead.

So now that you know all the don’ts of oral sex... do go forth and go down with confidence!

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Louise Bourchier is a sex educator and sex researcher with 8 years experience in the field. She teaches about sexual health, sexual pleasure, and communication in relationships through workshops, live-streams, and with written content. Using a sex-positive approach, a dash of humour, and bag full of fun props, Louise’s style of sex education for adults is not what you got in high school! Since 2011 she has taught over a hundred workshops to a wide range of audiences, from university students, to refugees, to medical professionals, to adult store clientele. She has a Masters of Public Health, and is currently a PhD candidate.

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