So, you’re looking to take your masturbation game up a notch. You’ve gotten bored by the “hands-on” approach and you want to spice things up. Maybe you're just sick and tired of your hand cramping or your arm getting tired while you’re trying to get yours. Not to worry, we’re here to walk you through the ins and outs of having a hands-free orgasm.
Try humping and grinding.
Ahh, the lost art of humping and grinding. This is often one of the first ways vulva-owners come to explore pleasure in their bodies, by rubbin’ up on stuff, and for good reason… it works! You can do this clothed or in your birthday suit and let friction and body movement do the work! Use the corner of the bed or couch, chair armrest, a pillow, or better yet, a sex pillow, and grind your pelvis and vulva against the surface.
You can take your humping and grinding to the next level by throwing in a vibrator to grind on. Many toys, depending on their shape and function, can easily be placed between you and whatever you are humping, A great option is the Mystery Vibe Crescendo because the shape bends to provide both internal stimulation, as well as a surface to grind on for external stimulation.
If you have a penis, there are several ways you can implement some humping action. You don’t have to go sticking your dick inside of pies or other pastries to imitate the feeling of your penis being stroked or penetrating something. You can try couch crevices, a folded pillow, folded blankets or duvets, or between the box spring and mattress. But if you do venture into the world of “food-fucking,” wear a condom to protect against possible infections, burning and irritation.
Experiment with orgasmic breathing.
Orgasmic breathing is the practice of breathing intentionally and strategically to induce sexual pleasure or orgasm. Breathing has a powerful way of altering our physical and mental state. Utilizing the power of breath and its energizing effect can be a great way to help you reach a hands-free orgasm. It can also just be a great way to enhance and elongate your hands-on orgasms as well.
To experiment with orgasmic breathing, ideally you’ll want to be in a comfortable space, free from distractions. Start in a comfortable position and begin deepening the breath, breathing in through the nose, and breathing out through the mouth. Consciously begin to focus your breath toward the pelvis and the pelvic floor. As you are exhaling, start to pull your abdomen in toward the spine. Begin flexing and holding the abdomen muscles in as you continue to breathe in and out. While the abdomen is still pulled fairly tightly towards the spine, begin to clench the pelvic muscles as you breathe in (try to avoid clenching the butt) and releasing them as you breath out. From here you can experiment clenching the pelvic floor in different patterns with your intentional breath to find what feels the best for you.
This method will definitely take some practice and a very open mind, but it can be a lot of fun and something you can use to improve your partnered sex, or at least help you stay more mindful during it!
Try using sex toys.
Wearable sex toys offer a ton of ways to get off without your hands (and sometimes with a phone app instead). “Panty vibrators” for vulva owners, such as the We-Vibe Moxie, can be great. The Moxie attaches to any pair of underwear using a magnet, and allows you OR a partner to control its setting and vibrations via a remote and/or phone app.
Dildos are another way to achieve hands-free orgasms. Many dildos come with a suction cup base, allowing you to stick it in just about anywhere and fuck it however you’d like!
Penis-owners can experiment with cock and/or ball (vibrating and non-vibrating) rings to increase pleasurable sensations and assist in reaching a hands-free orgasm. You can also try remote-controlled prostate massagers, such as the We-Vibe Vector.
Get creative with water play.
There are a few ways you can use water pressure for pleasure.
- Many vulva-owners discovered the true gift of the showerhead very early on in their masturbation “careers.” If you’ve never tried it or it’s been a while, give it a go for a wet n’ wild hands-free orgasm. If you have a tub and a showerhead, turn it on, get it to a nice temperature, and sit in the tub with your knees bent, facing your vulva diagonally up towards the showerhead. This way the water can come in contact with the clitoris. Alternatively, if you have a shower head that detaches, you can do this in any position. Just grab that shower head and direct it so that the water flow stimulates your clitoris. But please, don’t try to actually stick your showerhead in your vagina.
- Got a bathtub? You can grab yourself a Waterslyde water diverter to attach to your faucet to direct the water exactly where you want it to go! You’ll sit in the tub facing the faucet with your knees bent and feet on the tub floor (similar to how you positioned yourself when using the showerhead).
- Last but not least, the bidet. Yes, the toilet attachment that spurts water up the bum (or in today’s case, the clit). You can sit comfortably on the toilet and scoot until you find the best position where the water hits the clitoris. You can usually adjust the intensity level of the water pressure with most bidets as well.
Stimulate your other senses.
Your biggest erogenous zone is, in fact, your brain, which is what allows your body to register the stimuli entering through all of your senses — taste, smell, touch, sight, and sound. Masturbation, like sex, can be especially enhanced (hands-free) by the stimulation of sight and sound.
If you’re more inclined to get aroused from visual stimuli, fantasize. Use your imagination to craft a sexy, titillating scene. If this is difficult, you can try watching porn/erotica or live cams that turn you on, or perhaps a scene from a movie or tv show you particularly like.
You can also harness the aural power of arousal in several different ways. Audio porn, for example, can get the blood flowing where you want it. You can give it a go with the various stories from the audio porn app, Dipsea, as well as audio erotica podcasts. Some folks also like to “dirty talk” out loud to themselves to increase arousal, which you might want to give a try.
Practice your kegels and muscle clenching.
We’ve got muscles everywhere, including in our pelvic area, so why not put them to good use? You may have heard of kegel exercises as a way to strengthen the pelvic floor, especially for those at risk of pelvic organ prolapse or dealing with incontinence issues. You can also implement these same exercises to increase arousal and stimulate your genitals.
If you have a vagina,the muscles you’ll want to be targeting are the ones that start and stop the flow of urine from your urethra. Yes, those ones you clench when you really need to use the restroom and start doing the “I gotta pee!” dance. Try clenching and unclenching these muscles repeatedly to stimulate the larger clitoral structure.
Kegels aren’t just for folks with vaginas; penis owners have pelvic floor muscles and can certainly perform kegels as well to stimulate the (highly erogenous) prostate and try to reach a prostate orgasm. In this case, you would squeeze your rectum muscles as if you were holding in gas, then releasing back to a neutral state.
Now, before you go venture off on your journey for a hands-free orgasm, remember, it’s not ALL about the actual orgasm. Heck, you might not even reach orgasm, but that doesn’t mean your solo sex session was any less successful or pleasurable. Don’t focus too much on an end goal. Rather, just take your time and enjoy yourself, uninhibited.