Exploring your sexual desires can be empowering. It can help you tap into your sexuality, learn about your fantasies, and foster more open communication with your partner(s). Because desire often lies beyond what is deemed conventional, kink is incredibly common. “Kink” is an umbrella term that describes sexual interests outside of what is considered to be “traditional.” Some types include sensation and impact play, group sex, and power exchange (i.e. BDSM). There are so many ways to practice kink, and it can be a great way to spice things up in the bathroom. If you’re just starting your sexual exploration journey into kink, it can be helpful to have some resources at the ready to learn more about what kink and BDSM entails, what aspects of kink might interest you, and to learn more about other people’s stories of how kink has strengthened their sex lives. 

If you’re curious about kink and want to learn more, we compiled a list of resources for you to explore. 

Books that cover intimate perspectives on kink culture

1. The New Bottom Book, by Dossie Easton and Janey Hardy 

In The New Bottom Book, Easton and Hardy offer valuable information on how to ethically and emotionally communicate during kink play. The book includes safety warnings, real-life stories on BDSM play, and helpful advice for anyone new to the kink community. While it’s comprehensive and packed with information, it manages to still be engaging and entertaining. If you’re new to kink, we recommend you start with this book. You can also follow it up with its companion volume, The New Topping Book, though both are recommended for bottom and tops alike. 

2. Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Navigating and Exploring the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities, by Lee Harrington

Playing Well With Others not only provides readers with a thorough overview of kink culture, it also offers thoughtful advice for those new to the community. Harrington dives into a variety of topics including easing into sex communities, navigating kink aftercare, and exploring play parties. There’s a ton of useful information in the 11 chapters of this book, and it even comes with a glossary of kink-related terms.

3. Diary of a Submissive, by Sophie Morgan

In this memoir, Morgan candidly writes about her experience in a dom-sub relationship. Think Fifty Shades of Grey, but true and more accurate to the BDSM community. It’s a captivating read that explores the entanglement of pain and desire, and it offers a look inside the world of being a submissive without any fluff or glamorization. If you’re looking for less of a guide and more of a story, we recommend you check out this book.

4. The Ethical Slut, by Dossie Easton and Janey Hardy

The Ethical Slut is the go-to guide on all things non-monogamy, but it’s a useful read for anyone who deviates, or is thinking about deviating, from traditional relationships. It covers everything from divergent sex preferences and conflict resolution, to negotiation and boundaries, to the ethics of relationships. The Ethical Slut has been around for over 20 years, and it continues to be a highly relevant and timely read. 

Podcasts that feature thoughtful discussions on kink and BDSM

6. Off the Cuffs 

In Off the Cuffs, hosts Dick Wound, minimus maximus, Lexual Romance, and Bidaily speak with various members of the kink community. They discuss subjects like chastity play, taboo kinks, and play safety. The conversations are engaging and educational, and they can help kink novices ease into and learn about the community. 

6. Why Are People Into That?! 

In Why Are People Into That?!, listeners learn about various topics within the realm of human sexuality. In each episode, host Tina Horn speaks with a sex expert to explore the world of sex, kink, and gender. The guests come from diverse backgrounds and include sex workers, artists, and writers. They focus on everything from tantra and polyamory to cannibalism and cake sitting.

7. Savage Lovecast

In Savage Lovecast, host and acclaimed columnist Dan Savage gives sex-related advice to listeners. While the podcast is extremely funny and entertaining, it’s also packed with insight and raw reflection. Topics range outside the realm of kink, but you can find plenty of episodes related to it. For example, Savage speaks about furries, where kinks come from, and sexual fantasies. He also has some notable guests on the show, including Sarah Silverman, Jen Kirkman, and Andrew Rannells. 

Websites that offer tips and instructions for practicing kink safely 

8. Watts the Safeword 

Watts the Safeword is a media channel that focuses on inclusive BDSM education. It’s run by Pup Amp and Mr. Kristofer, and it has numerous videos — both instruction and discussion-based — on everything related to kink. You can find information on how to tie handcuffs, navigate aftercare, use butt plugs, and much more. If you’re looking for general kink information, Watts the Safeword is a website worth exploring. 

9. Crash Restraint

Tying someone up safely requires training, and that’s where Crash Restraint comes in. Crash Restraint offers a free, online course in rope bondage. During the course, users learn comprehensive safety information and rope skills, so that they can tie or be tied effectively. This website is where you should go for accessible, step-by-step instruction on rope bondage. If you want to find more information on safety precautions, check out Remedial Ropes, another popular kink site.

The bottom line

No matter where your curiosity lies — whether it’s in bondage, group sex, dirty talk, or elsewhere — there are plenty of resources that can help you learn more about kink and BDSM. Exploring new sexual territory can be a lot of fun, though it’s important to trust and communicate with your partner(s) beforehand. Communication could include setting boundaries, discussing expectations, and establishing a “safe word.” Everyone involved should be on board with the experience, so make consent your first and foremost priority, always. For more on kink, check out our articles on what is kink and BDSM, what are BDSM punishments, how to be kinky, and making a first-time kink experience feel good.