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The Quickie
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Massaging or stroking a partner with your hands is sensual and sexy, but how do you know if you’re “doing it right”? Giving your partner a stellar pussy massage involves exploring what feels good and embracing intimacy together—whether or not it ends in orgasm. Try these tips to get started.

1. Set The Massaging Mood

Whether you’re massaging before or after sex or as a stand-alone activity, it’s important to feel comfortable and present. Create a space where you and your partner can relax and enjoy each other; dim or turn off the lights and lay somewhere comfortable. Candles or dim lighting can help you set the scene and may even come in handy during your massage. For example, the melted wax from Ignite Me’s massage candles doubles as a warm massage oil.

2. Grab Some Lube

Adding lubrication, like a lube or a massage oil, can heighten sensation and reduce uncomfortable friction. To make your massage slicker and sexier, apply a few drops of a water-based lube like Sliquid Satin or Please Liquid Lubricant to your fingers first. Massage oils like Sensuous Beauty Love Balm create the same lubricating effect with the added pleasure of soothing scents like lavender and tangerine.

3. Engage The Elements

Some lubes contain cooling or heating ingredients that activate with friction. If your partner is interested in temperature-based play, try a small amount of Sliquid Sizzle Stimulating Lubricant, which cools on contact and warms when massaged, or try the Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm on the vulva (this balm is for external use only though) for a cooling, tingling sensation. (Bonus: It’s strawberry-flavored.)

4. Explore The Full Pussy—Slowly

Starting slowly and with a gentle touch, use one or two fingers to move over your partner’s vulva and outer labia, stroking in small circles at first. While it can be tempting to go straight for the clit, take your time exploring these less frequently touched areas instead. Be consistent about your speed and pressure, taking cues from your partner’s body language.

5. Mix Up Your Pussy Stroking Movements

Once you’ve established a rhythm, you can get a little more creative. Try rubbing the labia in long strokes with two fingers, lightly tapping your fingers, or using three or four fingers to massage a larger area. Apply more pressure as you move over the labia and toward the clitoris, and continue for as long as you and your partner are enjoying it!

6. Try A Sex Toy

Bringing a sex toy like a vibrator into the mix can create stronger sensations your fingers can’t do alone. Use a low-intensity external vibrator like the Pleasurette Mini over your partner’s vulva, labia, and inner thighs or bikini line. You can also try a toy that’s meant to attach to your finger, like the FingO Tips Micro Fingertip Vibrator, for a double-whammy of vibration and stimulating ribbed edges.

7. Communicate Your Needs

It’s important to check in with your partner throughout this process to make sure you’re applying the right amount of pressure, touching where it feels good, and that they're comfortable with what you’ll do next. For example, your partner may have preferences about whether you touch the clitoris or not, where sensations tend to be much stronger. Listen to what your partner wants and clearly communicate what you’re comfortable doing, too.

Be consistent about your speed and pressure, taking cues from your partner’s body language.

Finally, remember that exploring pussy massage can bring you closer to a partner whether or not you’re having sex. Keep an open mind and communicate often to have the most amazing experience possible.

Related Articles:

What Is The Clit?

The Art Of Eating Pussy

Eating Pussy Tips

What Is Sensation Play?

Nipple Pleasure And Nipple Orgasms

What Is The Vulva? What Are The Parts Of A Vagina? 

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