A college student, a mother of two, and a city councilwoman walk into a room. They have one thing in common: These three women all enjoy watching porn!

Even if they don’t talk about it with their friends (or even their partners!) many people of all genders watch porn. No matter why or how you watch it, your interest in porn is totally normal and a lot of people enjoy it.

Why Do People Watch Porn?

There are a number of reasons for watching porn: It can be an aid for arousal, a sexy activity to enjoy with a partner, or a tool for finding new things to turn you on. Plus porn is a great way to get comfortable with yourself, by yourself. No one has to know about your tastes in porn, though in the right moment it can be fun to talk about with friends or intimate to share with lovers.

Most of all, porn is a way to explore fantasies. If you’re in a relationship, watching porn can satisfy a fantasy that you might not be ready to try with a partner, or one that your partner does not share with you. For many people, porn is the first resource for learning about a kind of sex they’ve only dreamed of, like BDSM or pegging.

If I Like Watching Gay Porn, Does That Mean I’m Gay?

It’s totally normal to be interested in porn that portrays sexual activities you don’t actually want to do in real life. Some straight women enjoy watching lesbian porn, although they might not be attracted to women themselves! Likewise, some queer women and nonbinary people like to watch gay male porn.

Watching porn can satisfy a fantasy that you might not be ready to try with a partner, or one that your partner does not share with you.

Many people enjoy watching porn featuring more intense activities than they would want to do in real life, like gang bangs or double penetration. Remember that porn is a type of entertainment—it’s meant to be a turn-on, and it doesn’t have to be something you want to do IRL. What happens in porn doesn’t have to look like what happens in your own sex life, and that’s part of the appeal!

Porn And Chill

Porn can be a great way to blow off steam and even add a note of lightness to sexy time. If you find yourself laughing at some of the wild and wacky situations in which porn performers sometimes find themselves, you’re not alone!

If you’re watching porn that is outside your comfort zone for the first time, it’s normal to feel a little weird or nervous at first. Take a deep breath. Exhale any feelings of guilt you might have.

Laugh if you want to! Just because porn is entertainment meant to arouse doesn’t mean you have to take it any more seriously that you might take in a movie in the theaters. A lot of what you see in porn might seem outrageous, and that’s part of the fun. That said, if what you’re watching makes you uncomfortable, go ahead and turn it off.

Watching Porn With A Partner

Watching porn with a partner can be a fun way to switch up your sex life. Try turning it on during sex! Mutual masturbation is an ideal activity for this because it can be arousing to watch the performers and your real life partner getting off all at once.

It’s important to remember that you cannot expect your partner to be able to do the same things as a porn performer, or to find the same things sexy in the same way you do. Porn is entertainment, not reality. Porn performers are entertainers who can do things amateurs often cannot, and work seriously at their art. Watch porn to enjoy yourself, not to set expectations for your own sex life.

Where Do I Find Different Types Of Porn?

While mainstream porn sites like PornHub are often not marketed to women or made with women in mind, alternative porn is out there: If you know where to look you can find ethical, fairly-paid porn, as well as porn that is created by and for women and queer people.

It’s important to remember that you cannot expect your partner to be able to do the same things as a porn performer, or to find the same things sexy in the same way you do.

From casting to scene direction, alternative porn is run by small, independent studios and offers a diversity of interests and identities, especially ones that get overlooked in mainstream porn. If you want porn that features queer people, fat people, people with disabilities, and people of color in a way that does not fetishize their difference, alternative porn might be for you!

Start with Pink Label, which also offers a Prime service. But if it’s your first time watching porn, check out the selection at Good Vibrations, where they cater to a wide audience.

However you choose to enjoy your porn, remember that it’s perfectly healthy to explore your sexuality. Porn is a great tool to use while exploring!