November 28, 2022

How To Use A Prostate Massager

These 13 tips for using a prostate massager can help you achieve the prostate pleasure or orgasm you desire.
Written by
Ella Dorval Hall
Published on
November 28, 2022
Updated on
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Designed to enhance pleasure and induce full body prostate orgasms, prostate massagers are a popular pleasure product for good reason. Learn how to use a prostate massager to get the most out of this type of pleasure product. 

Editor’s pick for best prostate massager

Aneros Vice 2
Aneros Vice 2 Black
Aneros Vice 2 Remote
Aneros Vice 2 Side
Aneros Vice 2 Box

Designed to stimulate the prostate, Aneros’ Vice 2 is a sophisticated remote-controlled vibrator. It comes with two powerful motors, offering 18 vibration patterns and four intensity levels, and you can use it completely hands-free. Vice 2 is well-suited for more experienced users who want a strong mix of vibration and pressure to the prostate.

Comes with a wireless remote for easy control
Allows for hands-free use
Comes with 2-year warranty
Not the best toy for beginners
Splashproof, not waterproof
The nuts and bolts
  • 4 intensity levels
  • Splashproof
  • Body-safe materials: silicone and ABS plastic
  • 4.9 ounces (approx. weight of a baseball)
  • 4.8 x 1.3 in

What is a prostate massager? 

Prostate massagers are a type of anal toy for men or penis and prostate owners. They fit snugly in the anus, and come in varying lengths, girths, weights, and materials. But one thing prostate massagers have in common is they feature a curved shape to reach the prostate, aka the p-spot. Because the prostate can’t be reached as easily with fingers, a prostate massager can be necessary to stimulate this erogenous zone internally via the anus, and to help you achieve a prostate orgasm

13 tips for using a prostate massager 

There are many types of prostate massagers. Some vibrate, have beads, and ridges. Some are hybrid toys and serve multiple functions, like the Follow these tips and learn how to use a prostate massager to achieve the pleasure you desire. 

1. Locate the prostate

A prostate massager is intended for targeted prostate stimulation, but you’ll need to guide it toward the right spot. The prostate is a small walnut-sized muscular gland, located about two inches up the anterior wall of the anal canal. It can be reached internally via the anus and feels like a fleshy, soft area. You can also pleasure it externally but applying pressure to the perineum, the area between the anus and testes.

2. Start with a prostate massager for beginners

While some people think that you should choose a prostate massager with a smaller girth for your first time, you actually need a prostate massager with a wider tip to be able to properly stimulate the p-spot. Start with a smooth silicone prostate massager that is not beaded in texture. For beginners, we recommend the Svakom Vick Neo Interactive

3. Be sure your toy features a flared base or safeguards

Anytime you use a toy in your anus it needs to have a flared base to stop it from sliding in too deep. If it doesn’t have a flared base, just be sure it has some other safeguard, like a stopper, to prevent it from getting stuck. 

4. Clean before use

Clean the prostate massager with warm water and mild soap before use. Be sure to also clean it between each use, especially if you’re sharing it with another person. 

5. Clean yourself, if desired

Some people like to clean their anus or douche before using a prostate massager. This can be especially good to do if you’re playing with a partner. 

6. Learn how to control the settings

Typically, there are one or two motors inside a prostate massager, with controls located on the base of the toy. If you have a smart toy, you may be able to control vibrations, modes, and intensities via an app. You might also have a remote control for hands-free use. Look at the toy’s instructions for a detailed explanation on how to control the pleasure settings before using the prostate massager on yourself or a partner. 

7. Apply plenty of lube

The anus is not self lubricating so lube is essential for comfortable, pleasurable play. Without lube, the tissue in the anus is more likely to become irritated or tear. Water-based lube, like the Pjur Back Door Comfort Anal Glide, is compatible with most sex toy materials.

8. Find a comfortable position

Find a position that gives you best access to your anus and is the most comfortable for you. Consider laying on your back, with your legs spread, and reach between your legs to your anus. You might even lay in front of a mirror to make it easier to see what you’re doing. Playing with yourself in the mirror can also just be plain hot.

9. Stimulate the anal opening prior to penetration

Prior to using the prostate massager, you need to relax the muscles in your anus by becoming aroused. Stimulate your genitals or the anal opening with your finger, a vibrator, or if you’re with a partner have them use their fingers or tongue to give you a rimjob. Inserting the massager before you are adequately turned on will be painful.

10. Hold the toy so it is curved toward your belly

Position the toy so the curvature of the prostate massager is facing your stomach. In order for the prostate massager to stimulate your p-spot, the toy must face your front, not your back. 

11. Slowly insert the tip

Slowly glide the tip of the prostate massager into the anus. Take your time and do not insert it past an inch to start. Pause and see how it feels.

12. Insert the massager deeper

If you enjoy the feeling of the tip in your anus, slowly slide the shaft deeper in by pushing the end of the toy or the stopper. Pay attention to your body as you slowly penetrate yourself deeper. Are you turned on enough? Do you need more lube?

13. Rock the massager back and forth

If you have fully inserted the prostate massager, try gently rocking the prostate massager back and forth, angling it toward your stomach and backing off. This can help you locate and stimulate the prostate. 

3 prostate massage techniques to maximize pleasure even more 

1. Utilize the “frills.”

While playing with a traditional prostate massager can be enough, you can up the ante by getting a toy with innovative tech or more features. A vibrating prostate massager, for example, will reach the p-spot and heighten stimulation. Some prostate massagers include thrusting or rotating motions to simulate the feeling of penetrative sex with a partner. There are also hybrid massagers, like the B-Vibe Snug & Tug which doubles as both a cock ring and weighted butt plug. 

2. Try temperature play

Different prostate massagers are made of different materials. Some are made of silicone, while others may be made of stainless steel or glass. If you have a prostate massager made of stainless steel or glass, you can experiment with temperature play by either cooling your toy in the fridge before use or warming it in a bowl of warm water. 

3. Pair it with other toys

To help you achieve an even stronger, full body orgasm or pleasure, stimulate multiple erogenous zones at once. It can be hard to reach everything on yourself or a partner with your own hands or tongue, which is why incorporating additional toys can be a helpful way to really take things over the edge.

4 products to pair with your prostate massager 

There are so many toys you can pair with a prostate massager for more intense pleasure and orgasms. Here are a few of our favorite toys to increase intensity and explore different sensations. 

1. Fleshlight

Enjoy the feeling of warm, smooth sucking and penetration on your penis while the prostate massager stimulates your anus. This can be a great addition for solo play, but can also be fun with a partner. 

➡ We recommend: Fleshlight Turbo Thrust

2. Impact toys

If you’re into impact play, try using a paddle or slapper on your anus to add a contrasting stimulation to the prostate massager (just be sure you thoroughly research and experiment with impact play before you do this). 

➡ We recommend: Sportsheets XOXO Vinyl Paddle

3. Penis vibrator

Insert the prostate massager, apply lube to your penis, and then stimulate your tip and shaft to dramatically heighten the intensity of stimulation. 

➡ We recommend: Fun Factory Cobra Libre 2

4. Nipple clamps

If you enjoy any kind of nipple play, insert the prostate massager and then place the nipple clamps on your chest. For some people, nipple stimulation can even be felt at the base of their penis.

➡ We recommend: Cordless Vibrating Nipple Clamp Adjustable

How to use a prostate massager with a partner 

To involve your partner in this kind of play, consider handing over the controls. If your prostate massager has an app or remote control for hands-free play, let your partner take over and choose the vibration or thrust modes for you. You may also enjoy the feeling of fullness in your ass as you move the prostate massager around while your partner strokes your shaft. Your partner may also choose to give you a blow job while moving the prostate massager in and out of you. There are so many ways to play with a prostate massager with your partner, and these are just a few ideas. 

3 sex positions to try while using a prostate massager

While you can use a prostate massager in most any position, certain sex positions lend themselves better to this type of toy due to comfort and access. Here are a few positions we suggest trying while using a prostate massager. 

1. Bend over a piece of furniture

Find a table or bed that is about waist high and stand with your hips leaning up against it. Bend over and rest your stomach and chest on the table or bed. Have your partner approach you from behind and spread your butt cheeks. From this position, they can use their fingers or mouth on your anus, and then insert the prostate massager. You or your partner can even play with your testes, penis, or perineum as your partner also massages your prostate. You might want to try something like the Liberator Hipster to help you get positioned in just the right way. 

2. Laying on your side

Lay on your side and bring your knees in toward your chest (“fetal position”). Reach around your side, over your butt cheek and stimulate your anus, working toward inserting the prostate massager and eventually thrusting, rotating, or angling the massager so it stimulates your p-spot. If you’re with a partner, have them kneel over you and insert, slide, or rotate the prostate massager. From there, you can stimulate your own genitals while your partner focuses on your butt. 

3. Doggy style. On your hands and knees, arch your back so your pelvis tilts forward. Have your partner approach you from behind, on their knees. In this position, your butt cheeks will spread slightly so your partner can enjoy looking at your anus, while also having maximum control over using their hands, mouth, and eventually the prostate massager. Play with the arch of your back to find the angle of your hips that brings the prostate massager in contact with the p-spot. 

The bottom line 

Stimulating the prostate can lead to full body orgasms and pleasure. Using a prostate massager properly can help get you there. Browse the best prostate massagers to find the one that fits your needs.

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Ella Dorval Hall (she/they) is a white, eating disorder recover-er, sex and pleasure educator. She's worked at a national sexual health organization, Healthy Teen Network, training educators how to teach evidence-based sex education curriculums. Ella now hosts workshops, writes, and does 1:1 education that brings people the information and skills they need to actually enjoy sex. You can find more of Ella’s work on Instagram @unlearnings3x.

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