Guides
November 28, 2022

How To Use A Prostate Massager

13 tips for using a prostate massager to help you achieve the orgasm you're after.
Written by
Ella Dorval Hall
Published on
November 28, 2022
Updated on
What's changed?

Designed to enhance pleasure and induce full body prostate orgasms, prostate massagers are a popular pleasure product for good reason. Learn how to use a prostate massager to get the most out of this type of pleasure product. 

Editor’s pick for best prostate massager

Aneros Vice 2
Aneros Vice 2 Black
Aneros Vice 2 Remote
Aneros Vice 2 Side
Aneros Vice 2 Box

Designed to stimulate the prostate, Aneros’ Vice 2 is a sophisticated remote-controlled vibrator. It comes with two powerful motors, offering 18 vibration patterns and four intensity levels, and you can use it completely hands-free. Vice 2 is well-suited for more experienced users who want a strong mix of vibration and pressure to the prostate.

Benefits
Comes with a wireless remote for easy control
Allows for hands-free use
Comes with 2-year warranty
Drawbacks
Not the best toy for beginners
Splashproof, not waterproof
The nuts and bolts
  • 4 intensity levels
  • Splashproof
  • Body-safe materials: silicone and ABS plastic
  • 4.9 ounces (approx. weight of a baseball)
  • 4.8 x 1.3 in

What is a prostate massager? 

Prostate massagers are a type of anal toy for men or penis and prostate owners. They fit snugly in the anus, and come in varying lengths, girths, weights, and materials. But one thing prostate massagers have in common is they feature a curved shape to reach the prostate, aka the p-spot. Because the prostate can’t be reached as easily with fingers, a prostate massager can be necessary to stimulate this erogenous zone internally via the anus, and to help you achieve a prostate orgasm

13 tips for using a prostate massager 

There are many types of prostate massagers. Some vibrate, have beads, and ridges. Some are hybrid toys and serve multiple functions, like the Follow these tips and learn how to use a prostate massager to achieve the pleasure you desire. 

1. Locate the prostate

A prostate massager is intended for targeted prostate stimulation, but you’ll need to guide it toward the right spot. The prostate is a small walnut-sized muscular gland, located about two inches up the anterior wall of the anal canal. It can be reached internally via the anus and feels like a fleshy, soft area. You can also pleasure it externally but applying pressure to the perineum, the area between the anus and testes.

2. Start with a prostate massager for beginners

While some people think that you should choose a prostate massager with a smaller girth for your first time, you actually need a prostate massager with a wider tip to be able to properly stimulate the p-spot. Start with a smooth silicone prostate massager that is not beaded in texture. For beginners, we recommend the Svakom Vick Neo Interactive

3. Be sure your toy features a flared base or safeguards

Anytime you use a toy in your anus it needs to have a flared base to stop it from sliding in too deep. If it doesn’t have a flared base, just be sure it has some other safeguard, like a stopper, to prevent it from getting stuck. 

4. Clean before use

Clean the prostate massager with warm water and mild soap before use. Be sure to also clean it between each use, especially if you’re sharing it with another person. 

5. Clean yourself, if desired

Some people like to clean their anus or douche before using a prostate massager. This can be especially good to do if you’re playing with a partner. 

6. Learn how to control the settings

Typically, there are one or two motors inside a prostate massager, with controls located on the base of the toy. If you have a smart toy, you may be able to control vibrations, modes, and intensities via an app. You might also have a remote control for hands-free use. Look at the toy’s instructions for a detailed explanation on how to control the pleasure settings before using the prostate massager on yourself or a partner. 

7. Apply plenty of lube

The anus is not self lubricating so lube is essential for comfortable, pleasurable play. Without lube, the tissue in the anus is more likely to become irritated or tear. Water-based lube, like the Pjur Back Door Comfort Anal Glide, is compatible with most sex toy materials.

8. Find a comfortable position

Find a position that gives you best access to your anus and is the most comfortable for you. Consider laying on your back, with your legs spread, and reach between your legs to your anus. You might even lay in front of a mirror to make it easier to see what you’re doing. Playing with yourself in the mirror can also just be plain hot.

9. Stimulate the anal opening prior to penetration

Prior to using the prostate massager, you need to relax the muscles in your anus by becoming aroused. Stimulate your genitals or the anal opening with your finger, a vibrator, or if you’re with a partner have them use their fingers or tongue to give you a rimjob. Inserting the massager before you are adequately turned on will be painful.

10. Hold the toy so it is curved toward your belly

Position the toy so the curvature of the prostate massager is facing your stomach. In order for the prostate massager to stimulate your p-spot, the toy must face your front, not your back. 

11. Slowly insert the tip

Slowly glide the tip of the prostate massager into the anus. Take your time and do not insert it past an inch to start. Pause and see how it feels.

12. Insert the massager deeper

If you enjoy the feeling of the tip in your anus, slowly slide the shaft deeper in by pushing the end of the toy or the stopper. Pay attention to your body as you slowly penetrate yourself deeper. Are you turned on enough? Do you need more lube?

13. Rock the massager back and forth

If you have fully inserted the prostate massager, try gently rocking the prostate massager back and forth, angling it toward your stomach and backing off. This can help you locate and stimulate the prostate. 

3 prostate massage techniques to maximize pleasure even more 

1. Utilize the “frills.”

While playing with a traditional prostate massager can be enough, you can up the ante by getting a toy with innovative tech or more features. A vibrating prostate massager, for example, will reach the p-spot and heighten stimulation. Some prostate massagers include thrusting or rotating motions to simulate the feeling of penetrative sex with a partner. There are also hybrid massagers, like the B-Vibe Snug & Tug which doubles as both a cock ring and weighted butt plug. 

2. Try temperature play

Different prostate massagers are made of different materials. Some are made of silicone, while others may be made of stainless steel or glass. If you have a prostate massager made of stainless steel or glass, you can experiment with temperature play by either cooling your toy in the fridge before use or warming it in a bowl of warm water. 

3. Pair it with other toys

To help you achieve an even stronger, full body orgasm or pleasure, stimulate multiple erogenous zones at once. It can be hard to reach everything on yourself or a partner with your own hands or tongue, which is why incorporating additional toys can be a helpful way to really take things over the edge.

4 products to pair with your prostate massager 

There are so many toys you can pair with a prostate massager for more intense pleasure and orgasms. Here are a few of our favorite toys to increase intensity and explore different sensations. 

1. Fleshlight

Enjoy the feeling of warm, smooth sucking and penetration on your penis while the prostate massager stimulates your anus. This can be a great addition for solo play, but can also be fun with a partner. 

➡ We recommend: Fleshlight Turbo Thrust

2. Impact toys

If you’re into impact play, try using a paddle or slapper on your anus to add a contrasting stimulation to the prostate massager (just be sure you thoroughly research and experiment with impact play before you do this). 

➡ We recommend: Sportsheets XOXO Vinyl Paddle

3. Penis vibrator

Insert the prostate massager, apply lube to your penis, and then stimulate your tip and shaft to dramatically heighten the intensity of stimulation. 

➡ We recommend: Fun Factory Cobra Libre 2

4. Nipple clamps

If you enjoy any kind of nipple play, insert the prostate massager and then place the nipple clamps on your chest. For some people, nipple stimulation can even be felt at the base of their penis.

➡ We recommend: Cordless Vibrating Nipple Clamp Adjustable

How to use a prostate massager with a partner 

To involve your partner in this kind of play, consider handing over the controls. If your prostate massager has an app or remote control for hands-free play, let your partner take over and choose the vibration or thrust modes for you. You may also enjoy the feeling of fullness in your ass as you move the prostate massager around while your partner strokes your shaft. Your partner may also choose to give you a blow job while moving the prostate massager in and out of you. There are so many ways to play with a prostate massager with your partner, and these are just a few ideas. 

3 sex positions to try while using a prostate massager

While you can use a prostate massager in most any position, certain sex positions lend themselves better to this type of toy due to comfort and access. Here are a few positions we suggest trying while using a prostate massager. 

1. Bend over a piece of furniture

Find a table or bed that is about waist high and stand with your hips leaning up against it. Bend over and rest your stomach and chest on the table or bed. Have your partner approach you from behind and spread your butt cheeks. From this position, they can use their fingers or mouth on your anus, and then insert the prostate massager. You or your partner can even play with your testes, penis, or perineum as your partner also massages your prostate. You might want to try something like the Liberator Hipster to help you get positioned in just the right way. 

2. Laying on your side

Lay on your side and bring your knees in toward your chest (“fetal position”). Reach around your side, over your butt cheek and stimulate your anus, working toward inserting the prostate massager and eventually thrusting, rotating, or angling the massager so it stimulates your p-spot. If you’re with a partner, have them kneel over you and insert, slide, or rotate the prostate massager. From there, you can stimulate your own genitals while your partner focuses on your butt. 

3. Doggy style. On your hands and knees, arch your back so your pelvis tilts forward. Have your partner approach you from behind, on their knees. In this position, your butt cheeks will spread slightly so your partner can enjoy looking at your anus, while also having maximum control over using their hands, mouth, and eventually the prostate massager. Play with the arch of your back to find the angle of your hips that brings the prostate massager in contact with the p-spot. 

The bottom line 

Stimulating the prostate can lead to full body orgasms and pleasure. Using a prostate massager properly can help get you there. Browse the best prostate massagers to find the one that fits your needs.

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Ella Dorval Hall (she/they) is a white, eating disorder recover-er, sex and pleasure educator. She's worked at a national sexual health organization, Healthy Teen Network, training educators how to teach evidence-based sex education curriculums. Ella now hosts workshops, writes, and does 1:1 education that brings people the information and skills they need to actually enjoy sex. You can find more of Ella’s work on Instagram @unlearnings3x.

Article FAQs

How to choose a butt toy

When it comes to anal play, there are many types of butt toys to choose from.  If you’re not sure where to start, try narrowing the options by asking yourself some key questions. Your answers can help guide your choice on which anal toy is best for you.

Do I want an anal toy that gives me the feeling of being full? If so, consider a pleasure product meant for penetration, such as dildos, anal beads, and butt plugs. Each of these types of anal toys can help offer that satisfying, full feeling.

Is my goal to have a prostate orgasm? If you have a prostate, you might be interested in anal play for the powerful orgasm that can come from stimulating it. A prostate massager or a curved dildo can help you achieve a prostate orgasm.

Will I be using butt toys for partner or solo play? Most butt toys can be used for either solo or partner play — a butt plug can be very pleasurable with a partner, but can also feel equally great during masturbation. There are certain toys, however, more specifically suited for partner play. Think: double-ended dildos.

Am I looking for a toy that will enhance my experience with kink? Anal toys that help with width training, such as anal training kits, or butt plugs with attachments like a tail can be excellent additions to anyone’s kink pleasure chest.

3 types of butt toys

Your butt is full of sensitive nerve-endings that can feel fantastic when stimulated, adding another dynamic layer to your sex life. Plus, if you have a prostate (commonly known as the “male G-spot”), your anus is also its gateway. Explore these three types of butt toys.

1. Anal beads.

Anal beads feature a series of beads strung together in increasing sizes. As you use them for play, you can insert them at your own pace. Anal beads have a similar appeal as butt plugs in that they provide a feeling a fullness. Anal beads can come in more flexible varieties, and stimulate the sensitive, erotic nerves at the sphincter as the user slides them in and out.

2. Butt plugs.

Butt plugs are the most popular type of anal toy. Many are small enough to be good for anyone new to anal play, with a tapered bulb at the end of a thin neck that plugs into the user. They’re known for creating pleasurable pressure, and the feeling of being full inside. Some butt plugs even come attached to underwear, and you can wear them discreetly for a little public enjoyment.

3. Vibrating plugs

The sensation of an anal vibrator can add a new layer to your play, especially if you’re into experimenting discreetly in public. If you have a prostate, a prostate massager can often produce longer, harder orgasms.

Key things to know about anal toys

Additional considerations that you may want to take into account when buying a butt toy might include:

Material

Non-porous materials such as silicon, glass, or hard plastic are preferable for hygiene, and especially if the plug might be shared. Pores, or tiny holes that appear in certain materials like rubber, can absorb small amounts of liquid such as body fluids and lubrication, and thus carry viruses, bacterias, or other microorganisms (1, 2).

Safeguards to prevent a toy getting stuck.

Your anal toys should have either a stopper or a flared base on the end. This will help ensure it doesn’t get stuck or lost inside the anal cavity.

Lube compatibility.

Water-based lubes dry quickly, so they aren’t the best choice for anal sex. Oil-based lubes can degrade the surface of your pleasure products over time. The best lube options for your newest butt toy are silicon- or hybrid-based lubes (3).

Varying sizes for anal training.

New to anal play? Anal training is great for beginners because it eases you into products that feel comfortable for you. You’ll want to start small and go slow. Look for a softer toy that’s roughly the width of a finger or two. Certain toys come in size varieties so you can graduate to larger and larger toys if that feels good to you.

Travel-safe.

The TSA recommends packing batteries and battery-powered items in your carry-on as opposed to checking them whenever possible. Keep this in mind if you’re planning to jetset with your vibrating butt toy. Also, as you’ll want to use lube in conjunction with your toy, be cautious of exceeding the 3 oz. limit while traveling.

Bonus features of butt toys to look for

Most products in this category share common attributes; they can create the unique sensation of fullness, pair well with kink play, and can be utilized for solo or partnered play. But, there are a few standout features to look out for in the butt toy category.

  • Tapered tip instead of pointy. This will make insertion more comfortable.
  • Travel lock. If you’re looking at battery-operated vibrating toys, be on the lookout for ones that include a travel lock, so you can power it down without worry it’ll start buzzing in your suitcase.
  • Waterproof. While most of your options are waterproof, it’s best not to submerge a vibrating butt toy in water. If you’re interested in playing with vibrations underwater or in the shower, simply search for something that’s specified waterproof.
  • Kink-friendly. From plugs with pumps that expand at the user’s leisure, to tunnel plugs that add another layer of adventure, to electroshock toys for those who like to push their boundaries further, investigate all of your options when it comes to experimenting with anal play.

Pair your butt toy with…

You can enhance your butt play experience by pairing a toy with certain products of accessories. Consider the following:

  • Harnesses. If you’re interested in pegging, pair a dildo with a harness for comfortable, enjoyable partnered play.
  • Anal lube or arousal oils. Some specialty lubricants are lauded for their muscle-relaxing properties that gently relax the anal opening and allow for more comfortable penetration. In the same vein, you might want to incorporate an arousal oil into your experience to promote blood circulation and ease any first-timer nerves.
  • Enema gear. You have options when it comes to clearing the anal cavity pre-intercourse. Invest in a single-use enema or a simple anal douche for good, clean fun.
  • Toy cleaners. When it comes to cleaning your pleasure product, you might want to investigate specified products that allow for elevated care. These products come in organic, antibacterial, and more, if disinfection is a big priority for your sexual experience.

How to clean your butt toy

Regularly cleaning your anal toys will not only keep you healthy and protected, it’ll extend the life of your toys. Be sure to always clean products after use and between partner use, if playing with others. Wash your toys with plenty of warm water to cleanse them of leftover lube or fecal matter. Then, fill your sink with warm water and add a few squirts of antibacterial, unscented soap. Gently wash the surface of your toy with your fingers. Never use a scrubber or a dish brush as this can damage the surface of the toy, and make it harder to clean in the future.

If your toy is battery operated, it’s best to use a washcloth with soap and hot water as opposed to submerging it in water. Take a look at the instructions specific to your purchase for further detail on how to clean it.

4 butt toy myths, debunked

There are plenty of myths and rumors circulating around butt toys, with opinions varying even amongst sex enthusiasts. Here are a few of the most prevalent myths:

  1. Liking butt stuff makes me gay.

The reality is, people of all gender expressions, including gay and straight men, can enjoy anal play. In fact, a large number of straight-identifying people have engaged in heterosexual anal intercourse as well. The simple fact is, there are nerves in your anus that feel good when stimulated, so exploration can be on the table for anyone interested (4, 5).

  1. Any type of anal toy use can cause damage to my insides.

The anus is a very sensitive area, but as long as you take precautions (such as using lubricant and going slow with anal training), and follow the general guideline of no more than 2-3 hours with a toy inserted, your insides are likely safe (6).

  1. A little pain is okay.

While it’s possible to feel discomfort or even pain when inserting a butt plug, be aware that this could mean you’re overstretching. If you’re in pain, take this as a sign that you should either size down, go slower, use more lube, stop, or all of the above (7).  

  1. Experimenting with anal toys will make me poop.

Fear of feces keeps plenty of people from trying butt play, but the reality is that if you have proper gut health, you won’t have to worry about anything beyond minor, residual mess. If you’re really concerned, there are ways you can ensure cleaner anal, such as douching beforehand (6, 8).

Butt toy alternatives

If butt toys don’t feel right for you, there are many other pleasure product categories to explore and try. For example, dildos might be a good alternative if you are interested in experimenting with varying sensations with the option of penetration, as some dildos are meant for penetrative action and some also vibrate. Explore our catalog of dildos to learn more.

References

  • Brown University. What’s the best way to clean sex toys. Available from: https://www.brown.edu/campus-life/health/services/promotion/content/whats-best-way-clean-sex-toys
  • Anderson, T. A., Schick, V., Herbenick, D., Dodge, B., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2014). A study of human papillomavirus on vaginally inserted sex toys, before and after cleaning, among women who have sex with women and men. Sexually transmitted infections, 90(7), 529–531. https://doi.org/10.1136/sextrans-2014-051558
  • Nicole W. (2014). A question for women's health: chemicals in feminine hygiene products and personal lubricants. Environmental health perspectives, 122(3), A70–A75. https://doi.org/10.1289/ehp.122-A70
  • Hess, K. L., DiNenno, E., Sionean, C., Ivy, W., Paz-Bailey, G., & NHBS Study Group (2016). Prevalence and Correlates of Heterosexual Anal Intercourse Among Men and Women, 20 U.S. Cities. AIDS and behavior, 20(12), 2966–2975. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10461-016-1295-z
  • Kimberly , R.M.,  J.F.  Dennis (2010) Heterosexual Anal Sexuality and Anal Sex Behaviors: A Review,The Journal of Sex Research, 47:2-3, 123-136, DOI: 10.1080/00224490903402538
  • Garros, A., Bourrely, M., Sagaon-Teyssier, L., Sow, A., Lydie, N., Duchesne, L., Higuero, T., Damon, H., Velter, A., & Abramowitz, L. (2021). Risk of Fecal Incontinence Following Receptive Anal Intercourse: Survey of 21,762 Men Who Have Sex With Men. The journal of sexual medicine, 18(11), 1880–1890.
  • Grabski, B., & Kasparek, K. (2020). Sexual Anal Pain in Gay and Bisexual Men: In Search of Explanatory Factors. The journal of sexual medicine, 17(4), 716–730. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsxm.2020.01.020
  • Cichowski, S. B., Komesu, Y. M., Dunivan, G. C., & Rogers, R. G. (2013). The association between fecal incontinence and sexual activity and function in women attending a tertiary referral center. International urogynecology journal, 24(9), 1489–1494. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00192-013-2044-8
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