Some time long ago, someone compared sex to baseball. Depending on your generation, the bases- First, Second, Third, and Home Plate - mean different things; but, they always represent an order of operations so to speak.
First base is anything from hand holding to kissing. Second base can be touching with or without clothing. Third base ranges from pelvic grinding to oral sex (including anal\oral play) and home base is some sort of penetrative action.
And a Home Run? Well, that typically is the orgasm. It’s like everything has to perfectly align to get to this magnificent, somewhat elusive feeling - or so mainstream sexuality teaches us.
Different Types Of Orgasms
Orgasms vary. There might have been a time in your life when you were able to orgasm quickly, and it was not as satisfactory as you liked. Or there might have been a time when you orgasmed very powerfully, and you would like to try and achieve that state again.
There is no singular right way to have an orgasm and there are plenty of ways to get the orgasm you want, need, and deserve.
Maybe you have never orgasmed at all, or feel shame when you do. Orgasms can feel out of control and elusive at times.
The great thing is, there is no singular right way to have an orgasm and there are plenty of ways to get the orgasm you want, need, and deserve.
Orgasm State Of Mind
For stronger orgasms (or maybe even your first orgasm), the first thing that is helpful is to have a mental state conducive for orgasm. This means turning off distracting background noise.
For women identified people there is a documented phenomenon called spectatoring, which means that a woman steps outside of herself and watches what is going on with her body instead of being present in the moment. Often women are thinking about their ongoing to-do list and not able to fully be in the moment to receive pleasure.
A disconnect between the mind and body is a sure way to decrease orgasmic pleasure. To prevent spectatoring, take a moment to slow down and do some deep steady breathing. Take air in through your nose, letting your belly expand on the inhale and breathe out through your mouth. This can help you relax your mind and body in preparation for and during pleasure.
Slow Sex And Edging
With your mind primed for an audacious orgasm, it’s time to prime your body. Utilizing slow sex, whether solo or partnered, can help you maintain a more powerful orgasm. With slow sex comes a practice called edging.
Edging… This orgasmic teasing helps build tension, pleasure and anticipation – all of which can lead to a stronger orgasm.
Edging is getting to the edge of an orgasm without initiating the experience completely and back off once you get close. The goal is to come close to the edge multiple times without orgasming. This orgasmic teasing helps build tension, pleasure and anticipation – all of which can lead to a stronger orgasm.
Along with edging is stopping sexual play completely without any release at all, and coming back to it later. It may sound frustrating but can be an awesome tool of arousal. Getting aroused in the a.m and having that pent-up sexy energy with you all day can lead to a mind-blowing orgasm that night.
Adding to arousal, allowing yourself to moan can also help intensify arousal and pleasure sensations. If you’re with a partner, moaning can let them know you enjoy what they are doing. If you’re solo, it can feel good to moan and have an auditory acknowledgement of your pleasure, along with an automatic way to practice deep breathing.
Relaxation, pushing yourself to the brink and acknowledging pleasure out loud are a few ways to elevate your orgasm. Try them out and see what works for you!