How To Do Wet And Messy Play

If lots of lube, squirting, and other kinds of messy sex gets you going, here’s the tea on this fetish.

How To Do Wet And Messy Play

How To Do Wet And Messy Play

How To Do Wet And Messy Play

Published
December 4, 2020
— Updated
Medically Reviewed by
7 minutes

Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion broke the Internet with “Wet Ass Pussy (WAP).” Sure, the beats and the star-studded, fantastical music video were everything. But these unapologetic rappers didn’t just give listeners another sex-positive anthem. They tapped into a fetish that’s not often talked about: wet and messy play. Wet and messy (WAM) is a type of play or fetish that involves excessive fluids in sex — whether it be saliva, lube, squirting, cum, or anything of that nature. 

Whether messy sex is a fetish, crucial to getting off, or it’s an occasional indulgence, it’s important to remember there are all kinds of ways to engage in “WAP” and “WAM”-related activities. As you embark on your journey of being a “certified freak, seven days a week,” here are some ways to explore wet and messy.

1. Start with lube 

“Lubricant is used to achieve better glide, offer more comfort, prevent injury like micro-tears, and promote endurance,” sexologist and co-founder of GoLove CBD lube Dr. Sadie Allison tells O.school. Along with using lube during your main sex acts, Allison recommends incorporating it into foreplay for that extra wet touch. “Have your partner put it on their fingers and use it on you, and vice versa,” she explains. “Think mutual masturbation, with a four-fingertip vulva massage or full penis and balls caressing handjob.” She adds that lube can work wonders for general body massages, too.

Allison recommends silicone-based lube because it’s “long-lasting, slick, and is especially good for anal sex.” It’s also great for shower sex as silicone tends to rest on the skin, instead of absorbing. Along with being condom-safe, it’s also great to use with steel and glass sex toys. For silicone toys, try a water-based lube. “Good water-based lubes will absorb naturally into the skin,” says Allison. It tends to be easier to wash off sheets, toys, and human bodies, though you should refresh it consistently since it dissolves quickly into the skin. 

You can also try extra-arousing or stimulating lubes. For example, Unbound has a Clitoral Jolt Gel with peppermint oil, and Foria Wellness has its signature Awaken Arousal Oil. As Allison points out, some lubes offer therapeutic benefits, and can “help reduce inflammation, sexual anxiety and relax pelvic muscles.” She recommends GoLove CBD lube, Quim’s “Smooth Operator” Intimate Serum, and Cake’s “Tush Cush” lube with aloe.

2. Explore squirting

Along with incorporating different kinds of lubricant, you and your partner can also get messy by trying to induce squirting, which is when a vulva-owner releases fluid through the urethra. 

“Squeezing and flexing the kegel muscles, like a strong-held kegel, can help build to a squirting orgasm,” Allison says. Squirting can happen when the G-spot is stimulated with “a fast rigorous technique.” Look for the internal clitoris right behind the urethra. “This spongy area can be found two thirds of the way up inside the vagina. Stimulate with a nice upward curved angle,” Allison says. Fingers are ideal for helping make someone squirt, as are sex toys that are curved and meant for G-spot stimulation.

All these details may feel like a lot to keep in mind, but don’t sweat it! Unless of course, sweating is your thing. Take your time to experiment with your partner, particularly while whichever vagina-owning partner (who’s being penetrated) is relaxed. 

“If you’re clenched up or tense, squirting may not happen,” Allison tells O.School. “Some people squirt easily, others can take time. There is no right or wrong way to squirt, so enjoy the ride. Of course, this is not possible for all people - which is no problem!”

3. Bring food into the bedroom 

Another “WAP” lyric to take inspiration from is Megan’s evocative “Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me” line. A very straightforward way to experiment with messiness is by raiding your fridge. “Food play,” a subcategory of WAM play, is the use of food in an “erotically-charged way." Something Allison recommends is trying incorporating food into sex in a playful fashion. “Like whipped cream on nipples, or eating crushed berries off your partner’s stomach or bottom.” 

You can also drizzle condiments onto your partner’s body. Think chocolate syrup on your partner’s butt, honey on their stomach, or squeezable caramel on their neck. You can feed each other fruit, take body shots, or order some sushi to eat off each other’s bodies, a practice called “nyotaimori.” The possibilities are endless — just be mindful of allergies, as well as foods that can harm certain areas of the body.

For example, as Allison points out, sugary foods can irritate the vulva or vagina. Acid and alcohol can also irritate the vagina, as well as the anus. If you’d like to bring whipped cream into the bedroom, for example, do stick to the nipples, tummy, and legs. Sugar or dairy can upset the vagina’s pH balance, thereby causing a yeast or bacterial infection. In that case, use a plastic wrap barrier if you or your partner really want to slurp up dessert foods from a vagina.

4. Get into period sex

Sometimes, the last thing you want to do as a vagina-owner is have sex on your period. But being on your period can also make you horny, and it can be a great time to try partner play. Simply put: “Menstruation makes for a wonderful lubricant,” Allison says. When you’re on your period, you’ve automatically got that “macaroni in a pot” WAP.

Not only is your vagina extra sticky and slippery, but it’s also more sensitive. And therefore, sex can actually be all the more pleasurable. Allison adds, “Period sex can be more enjoyable, since the tissues in pelvis are inflamed or engorged. Many describe it as more sensational and some can achieve climax easier.” 

If you feel some type of way about blood, lay down a dark towel or do the deed in the shower. Which could lead to a sexy, soapy round two. If talking about blood makes you feel awkward, a tip Allison offers is to call blood “color” instead. “Easier on the ears, and sounds more playful and light,” she says. “If some of you don't like the sight of color, do it with the lights off.” Menstruation, however, is nothing to be ashamed of, but baby steps. 

Whether we're talking period sex or any kind of WAM play, you’ve got to start where you’re comfortable. Keep checking in with your partners about consent, keep being sexually curious, and lean in to the pleasure of it all. Regardless of how you get there, enjoy the opportunity to get a wet ass pussy — and everything else — that’s worth bringing a bucket and a mop for.

Caroline Colvin

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Caroline Colvin is a journalist and multi-media creator who loves discussing identity, sex, and pop culture. Caroline is the founder and editor in chief of Cherry Magazine, an LGBTQ+ fashion, beauty, and wellness journal. Support their work at petitangebrun.com/about and cherrymagazine.net.

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