Find your Threesome Online

Sex with more than one person can be an exciting and pleasurable experience for everyone involved. Although there are a lot of negative stereotypes about threesomes, you can create the toe-curling ménage á trois of your dreams through consent, communication, and an open mind.

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The Quickie
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Sex with more than one person can be an exciting and pleasurable experience for everyone involved. Although there are a lot of negative stereotypes about threesomes (that they’re sleazy, once in a lifetime, and someone always ends up getting hurt), you can create the toe-curling ménage á trois of your dreams through consent, communication, and an open mind.

If you’re in a committed, monogamous partnership and want to engage in a threesome, it’s important to start by discussing the possibility with your partner in a neutral environment (aka, not during sex). What do you want out of the experience? What are your boundaries? How do you each deal with jealousy? Is one person more excited about this than the other? Who might you want to sleep with?

If you’ve found common ground when answering these questions, the next step is finding a person who you’re both hot for — and who’s equally hot for you. Some folks prefer to use hookup apps like Tinder or Feeld, an app specifically for couples and singles to find one another, while other people might have a friend or acquaintance in mind. Communicating your and your partner’s interests in a respectful way and being open to feedback is a necessity when you’re looking to find a third party to play with.

Once another person expresses their enthusiastic desire to have sex with you and your partner, a low-key meeting is a great way to test the waters. Pick a public place like a bar, restaurant, cafe, or club to gauge everyone’s interests, needs, and, most importantly, chemistry. If you’re all in agreement, then it’s time to set some ground rules. What sex acts are on or off the table? Do you or does your partner want to have sex with the third party as a twosome, while the other person is in the room just watching? Or do you only want to engage in sex at the same time as a threesome? What kind of aftercare does each person require? When everyone has been heard and the parameters are set, you’ve got the makings of an awesome three-way.

On the day of your date, it’s normal to be nervous if you’re trying out a threesome for the first time. However, focusing on taking pleasure in your sexual partners’ pleasure is a great way to have a satisfying experience. Just remember that you have the option to stop the threesome at any time — and don’t expect perfection. Like any kind of sex, a threesome can be thrilling and it can be meh. Don’t forget to communicate, follow your consensual desires, and relax and enjoy!

Myths and facts

Setting the record straight.

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