9 Best Sex Toys For Kink And BDSM Play

Finding the right toys and gear for you may be half the fun.

9 Best Sex Toys For Kink And BDSM Play

9 Best Sex Toys For Kink And BDSM Play

9 Best Sex Toys For Kink And BDSM Play

Published
January 17, 2022
— Updated
Medically Reviewed by
7 minutes

Kink and BDSM play includes a wide range of sexual acts with many associated leather-bound items, gear, and sex toys to help enhance a scene. Finding the right toys and gear for you can take time, but experimentation can be half the fun. It can also help you connect with a partner and to your own sexuality. Finding and using the right toys simply requires a foundation of mutual consent, established boundaries, effective communication, and knowledge on how to use toys and gear safely. If you’re looking to dial up your sexual experiences, explore our favorite toys for kink and BDSM play.

1. Black Bondage Tape by LoveHoney, $8.99

Unlike everyday use tape, bondage tape is reusable, won’t pull on hair or clothing, and removes easily without leaving a sticky residue. It offers a variety of uses, including creating restraints, blindfolds, clothing, and pet play. LoveHoney’s Black Bondage Tape comes with 20m of reusable, self-adhesive tape. It can be cut to length, and it won’t leave marks or residue on skin or furniture. Regardless of how you choose to use the tape, make sure to keep a pair of scissors on hand in case of emergency.

  • Why we love it. LoveHoney’s Black Bondage Tape is affordable, durable, and easy to use. While it sticks to itself, we found that unlike many other self-adhesive tapes, it removes well and comfortably. We also love its versatility. You can use it to blindfold, gag, wrap, or dress.
  • Who it’s best for. This tape is suited for both beginner and experienced BDSM practitioners alike. Because it’s safe and accessible, it’s also great for those who want to use a restraint method that doesn’t require a ton of experience. 

2. The Adjustable Alligator Nipple Clips by The Stockroom, $16.50

The Adjustable Alligator Nipple Clips squeeze the nipples to create pleasurable stimulation. They can be used during partnered or solo sex, whether you’re exploring BDSM play or not. These clamps come in a variety of styles, and their hands-free feature allows users to wear them wherever and whenever they want. Make sure your nipples are hard before application and adjust accordingly. If they feel uncomfortable, loosen and take them off. 

  • Why we love it. The Adjustable Alligator Nipple Clips have a great grip, and they’re very adjustable and lightweight. You can turn the thumbscrews to change the tension, and the chain makes it stylish and sexy. 
  • Who it’s best for. The adjustability of these clips makes it especially suitable for beginners. Those who are more experienced with clamps can always change the weight of the clips to make it feel more pleasurable. 

3. Allure Babydoll by Cosabella, $130

When trying BDSM or kink play, wearing sexy lingerie can enhance a scene. Cosabella encompasses any type of undergarment, including corsets, girdles, and garters. It’s an Italian lingerie brand that uses naturally dyed lace, mesh, and satin to create luxury garments. The key to lingerie is making sure it’s sized well for your body, and we recommend getting fitted by a professional if you’re new to the lingerie game. We especially love the Allure Babydoll dress for its sexy style and comfort. 

  • Why we love it. Cosabella’s collection has inclusive sizing, and even carries maternity lingerie wear. In fact, they have more than 60 cupped bra sizes, ranging from 28A to 40DD. Cosabella’s designs are also timeless, and the brand goes out of its way to satisfy customers. You can even schedule a free 20-minute consultation on their website to find the right lingerie for your size and shape. 
  • Who it’s best for. Because Cosabella is known for its extensive size and style selection, their garments are great for anyone looking for sexy wear. In terms of price, Cosabella is on the higher end of lingerie brands, so we recommend shopping elsewhere if you’re shopping with a smaller budget in mind.

4. Mindfold Blindfold Mask by Mindfold, $19.95

A blindfold can be an exciting way to add an element of power exchange. When your sight is cut off, other senses may feel heightened. Blindfolds can also help ease self-consciousness, so you can feel more present and confident. Because of its opaque black shield, the Mindfold Relaxation Mask can be used as an effective, comfortable blindfold.

  • Why we love it. Unlike most masks, the Mindfold offers complete darkness. It's made of plastic and soft foam, so it can comfortably fit securely on your face. The velcro straps allow for easy adjustment, and it provides a nice balance of lightness and security. 
  • Who it’s best for. This is best for those who want a snug, fitted mask that completely cuts off light. If absolute darkness doesn’t sound too appealing to you, the Mindfold may not be the toy for you. 

5. Hitachi Magic Wand by Hitachi, $69.95

In BDSM, vibrators are often used for orgasm denial and ‘forced’ orgasm. Orgasm denial is a form of teasing, and it usually involves the dominant person trying to get their partner as close as they can to orgasm before releasing stimulation. ‘Forced’ orgasms are given (with consent) to a submissive partner, often creating an intense endorphin rush. The Hitachi Magic Wand is perhaps the most well-known of all hand-held massagers. It features a round head with a 9’ handle, along with two vibration speeds (5,000 and 6,000 rpm) which you can control with a hand switcher. Both speeds are very powerful, so there isn’t technically a “warm up” speed. In terms of its material, the Wand’s head is made of silicone and its body is made from plastic, making it easy to sterilize. Depending on where it’s placed, the Wand can be used for anal, g-spot, or prostate stimulation. 

  • Why we love it. We love the Hitachi Magic Wand for its intense vibrations. The strong motor lends itself to great (and quick) orgasms. The Wand plugs in with a cord, meaning it won’t die on you right before you’re about to climax — which is arguably one of the more frustrating things that can happen in life. Along with erotic use, it can act as a general massager and provide relief to tense muscles.
  • Who it’s best for. Generally, it’s best for those who have accessibility to an outlet and want to orgasm quickly — the intensity makes it difficult to start off slow. It’s also best for people who don’t mind a bit of noise as its vibrations are quite loud. This Wand should not be used in water, so if you’re looking for a toy to use in the bath or shower, look elsewhere. 

6. Bondage Boutique Soft Leather Handcuffs by LoveHoney, $29.99

Handcuffs are a fun way to venture into BDSM territory. In regards to the different styles and materials, it all depends on what feels good for you and your partner. It’s recommended to avoid cheap metal as they can bruise and cut your wrists. Try starting with soft ones, like LoveHoney’s Bondage Boutique Soft Leather Handcuffs. These cuffs keep you restrained with their strength, but also provide comfort with their softness. The size can be adjusted to fit most wrists, and it comes with a detachable clip that can be attached to a wide range of bondage accessories (i.e. chains).

  • Why we love it. We recommend these cuffs for their durability, simplicity, and adjustability. The studding and genuine leather material give off a sleek and sexy look, making the cuffs feel like authentic bondage. They also fit most wrist sizes with an adjustable strap that measures between 5.5” and 9.25.” 
  • Who it’s best for. The Bondage Boutique Soft Leather Handcuffs can be used for anyone curious about restraint, whether you’re new to the game or looking to add to your cuff collection.

7. Faux Leather XOXO Spanking Paddle, $8.97

Spanking paddles are used to discipline submissive partners. They can give off a sting of (pleasurable) pain by increasing blood flow and stimulating nerve endings. The Faux Leather ‘XOXO’ Spanking Paddle is a sturdy paddle for all levels of power play. It’s lightweight and provides a wrist loop for better aim. Before using any paddle with a partner, it’s important to practice your aim on a pillow or any other soft object. When using it, make sure to spank softer areas of the bodies (i.e. buttocks, backs of thighs). 

  • Why we love it. With its balance of flexibility and sturdiness, the ‘XOXO’ Paddle sets itself apart. Its durability creates the perfect spank, and its flexibility makes it easy to use for beginners. We also love how the paddle’s cut-out stitching leaves a ‘XOXO’ mark when spanked with the proper amount of force.
  • Who it’s best for. The ‘XOXO’ Paddle is best for anyone that wants to take spanking to the next level. Because of its flexibility, it’s accessible to new users. Its toughness also makes it suitable for more experienced paddlers

8. Hemp Bondage Rope by DamnGoodRopeCompany, $80+

Rope bondage is designed for power play. It is generally used to tie up submissive partners, which can create a loss of control and a deep feeling of pleasure. Rope bondage is derived from Shibari, an ancient form of Japanese rope bondage. There are a few things to consider when looking for a rope, such as burn speed, grip, stretch, and maintenance. For a breakdown of the various rope materials, check out this guide. We also recommend taking Crash Restraint’s free online course on rope restraint if you’re new to rope bondage. This rope set, which is made from high-quality hemp, is hand spun and great for beginners. 

  • Why we love it. Hemp is an all-around solid material for rope bondage, and it happens to be one of the more popular materials as well. We love this rope because it's available in three finishes: a raw finish, a broken and singed finish, and a conditioned finish. It’s also beautifully and carefully made. Every order comes with four pieces of rope, and it’s perfect for all kinds of rope bondage.
  • Who it’s best for. In order to tie someone up safely and comfortably, training is crucial. If you haven’t learned how to work with rope and don’t plan to, we recommend finding a toy that requires less educational prep. And while this rope is best for beginners, it can be used for more experienced kinksters. 

9. Soft Leather Flogger Whip by HB Leather Premium, $103.49

Floggers, which traditionally consist of leather tails, are designed for impact play. They can be used to whip, caress, strike, or inflict pain on willing participants. Though there are many styles, we love HB Leather’s Premium Soft Leather Flogger Whip. It’s made of high-quality leather and offers a perfect “thud.” You can also use its wrist loop for greater whipping accuracy. As with any striking method, remember to pick a safe word to ensure you and your partner feel comfortable throughout the experience. Similar to paddling, it’s important to ease into flogging by practicing your aim on a pillow. From there, you can start with a few soft strokes on your partner and work your way up. Flogging techniques include using one stroke at a time and using a series of strokes while building momentum. Remember to avoid whipping the face or any other sensitive body part (i.e. head, neck).

  • Why we love it. This flogger is not cheap, but we think it’s worth it. Its high-quality leather material feels luxurious on the skin, and its well-made construction makes it long-lasting. It’s also light enough to make for accessible use, but weighty enough for solid impact. 
  • Who it’s best for. This product is best for those that want a flogger on the heavier side. If you’re completely new to flogging, it may be better to start with a light flogger for gentle strokes. Given its price, this flogger is for people on a budget. 

The Bottom Line

BDSM and sexual experimentation requires trust between you and your partner(s). Whether you’re blindfolding your partner or handcuffing them to the bed, remember to maintain ongoing communication as you experiment with different forms of play. Kink play is only as erotic as the dynamic you’ve agreed and consented to together. To learn more, check out our introduction to kink and BDSM and the importance of consent. You can also learn how to how to clean and care for sex toys.

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

The O.school team is here to provide you with the most medically-accurate information around sex, sexual wellness, pleasure, relationships, and dating. Every article we publish is vetted by our medical review board, ensuring that readers are provided with answers you can trust.

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