Role playing can be a great way to explore your fantasies.
Inserting some role play into your sex life can have a lot benefits. For one, taking on another persona can help you let go of sexual inhibitions and be more unabashedly confident in bed. Role playing can also be a bonding experience between you and your partner(s), allowing you to deepen your understanding of each other’s fantasies. While our imaginations can allow for an infinite number of possibilities for role play scenarios, we’re going to guide you through a few of our favorites to get you started.
What is role play?
Tony Parker, founder of Kinky Hookup, tells O.School that sexual role play “is a form of fantasy play involving two (or more) consenting adults who have agreed to enter and ‘act out’ a scenario that entices both or all of them.” All consenting parties should discuss the details of the fantasy, what roles they want to play, their boundaries, and at least have a basic understanding of how they want it to go down. You might also want to think of a safe word to signal a hard stop that can be used at any moment during play.
6 Role Play Scenarios To Try
Gabi Levi, founder of the erotica site Shag Story tells O.School, “You might stumble through [role playing] at first. However, addressing that you both are totally invested, despite the potential giggles, is going to help you out big time.” To try out different role play ideas, all you need is a little imagination and confidence, and perhaps some props, costumes, and acting skills. Here are six role playing ideas.
1. Perfect stranger/Two strangers
Dr. Jill McDevitt, resident sexologist for CalExotics, recommends this scenario to O.school readers. It involves acting out a scenario where you and your partner pretend not to know each other. You can go to a bar, a show, a bus stop, a coffee shop, almost anywhere where an accidental “meet-cute” could take place. From here, flirt and introduce yourselves until eventually, you’ll be “overcome with lust and desire that you just have to have sex even though you ‘don’t know each other.’” You can take as long or as little as you like to build the fantasy and the sexual tension, then rush back home to have this “anonymous” sex, or if that takes you out of the fantasy, you could try car sex, or get a hotel room for the evening.
If you’re not going to be leaving the home, an alternative to this would be to purchase masquerade masks at a party store for cheap and to pretend you’re at a masquerade ball or party. This gives that added layer of anonymity to the fantasy
2. Need a ride?/ Ride-share driver/passenger
You’ve heard those wild stories of people who’ve hooked up with their ride-share drivers. You can make it a (sort of) reality as long as one of you has a car (even better if it’s spacious). For this scenario, one partner acts as the ride-share driver, and the other partner(s) acts as the rider, being picked up from a location and driven home.
Choose a place to start that is far enough from your residence to allow for enough time for the sexual tension to build. The driver pulls up and picks up the rider, and you can begin to flirt from there. You can merely just flirt by talking, but you can also flirt by having the rider give the “driver” a peek at what’s underneath their clothes, or getting so hot and bothered by the flirtatious conversation that the rider begins to touch themselves and maybe allows the driver to touch them (while parked, of course!) You can either pull over (somewhere private) and have car sex or have the rider invite the driver into their place to continue the action.
3. You’re the boss/Boss and employee
Office boss and employee/secretary role play is a popular choice because of the “off-limits” nature of this dynamic, which can make it extra hot. This one requires minimal props. Chances are you both have some sort of work clothes to wear, maybe a tie or suspenders you can tug on.
The role play can start while one partner is working on their computer at their desk, and the boss comes by to check on their progress. Maybe the boss calls to tell the “employee” that they need to see them in their office, or maybe you bump into each other in the breakroom while grabbing coffee. There is a lot of room for creativity here. To further play into the illusion, avoid the bedroom, and have sex on the desk or desk chair.
4. Delivery Sex/ Delivery driver and customer
Levi mentions the classic pizza delivery “fantasy” as a potential role play idea. For this scenario, one partner plays the “delivery driver”, while the other(s) plays the person who ordered food. Levi suggests actually ordering food, and having the “delivery person'' wait outside of the home for it, and having them wear something that slightly resembles a delivery driver uniform.
“The person who ordered the food can suggest sexual favors in lieu of a tip,” she says, “the exchange of sex for money is an added taboo layer to this fantasy.” Also, if you order a dessert of some kind, you can have fun “playing with your food” by licking it off of each other’s bodies!
5. Fixer upper/handyperson and homeowner
Similar to the delivery driver scenario, you can set up a role play where a handyperson comes to the door to “fix” your faucet, drain, washing machine, A/C, etc. This one might benefit from a trip to the Halloween costume store, to grab a costume with a tool belt and some work pants and boots.
To act out this scenario, the handyperson would pretend to work on whatever’s “broken” while the person who called for a repair can flirt with them, walk around in skimpy clothes, etc. When it comes time to “pay”, just like the delivery person role play, you can suggest sexual acts as an alternate form of payment
6. Get my good side/Photographer and model
This last suggestion comes to us from Candee Annaud, author of Love in the Time of Corona: Your Guide to Safe and Fun Fantasies. She suggests buying a polaroid camera (or you can just use your camera phone) and “playing out the ‘pervy’ photographer who takes advantage of the sexy lingerie model.” As with all role play scenarios, be sure to establish consent and boundaries before acting out a scenario like this.
To add to the scene, you can set up an area where you plan to “shoot” with a backdrop, some lights and maybe a few props, like candles, flowers, flower petals, maybe even some Shibari rope, to add to the illusion. Annaud also mentions that this particular role play can last far beyond that actual day/night, since you can always look back at the photos and remember all the kinky fun you had. “If you aren’t comfortable having nudes taken, use a toy camera and pretend,” she adds, “role-playing is all about imagination, after all.”
Pro tip: there are TONS more role play scenarios that would benefit from the added realness that costumes bring to the table. Following the next Halloween holiday, go hit up some costume stores for deeply discounted costumes! Some more ideas that would benefit from costumes include: damsel/princess in distress, pirate and hostage, cop and robber, and doctor nurse (all of which you re-use for your next couples costume too!)
The bottom line
Whichever scenario you and your partner agree to play out, just remember to communicate your expectations and boundaries beforehand. Now, get out there and have fun with it and maybe even turn it into a full-on pleasure play date.