Fact No. 1
Fact No. 2
Fact No. 3
Fact No. 4
The Quickie
4 minute read

You’ve been hanging out with someone new, someone cool, maybe even someone you have a bit of a crush on. But is your time together just a hang, or something more? Let’s discuss how to read the signs, send the right signals, and have an honest discussion about what you both need and want.

Reading The Signs And Signals

There’s no foolproof way to know if someone is interested in you as a friend or as a potential romantic or sexual partner. To make matters more complicated, feelings can change! You or your friend might be interested, but not know where you want to take things yet. As you both explore how you feel, it can be hard to ask or be asked what your feelings are.

Some signals are easier to read than others. 

Some signals are easier to read than others. If your friend finds little ways to be affectionate - touching your shoulder while complimenting your jacket, a hug held a beat longer than it needs to - or if their compliments tend towards the physical, that can be a good indication they’re interested in you, physically.

But then again, touch or praise aren’t always a sign of sexual desire. Lots of signs that scream “crush!” to some people can say “considerate friend!” to others.

The best way to know if someone is giving you a signal that they’re interested in being more than friends is by getting to know them. If you haven’t known them long, observe how they spend time with you.

Is your time together different than when they hang out with other friends? Do they come up with nice activities for the two of you to do alone? Do they talk about other crushes or dates?

Still not sure? There’s only one way to find out: ask them!

Is This A Date, Or…?

Your first step is knowing what you want. Do you want it to be a date? Have an idea about what you want from the other person, even if it’s just to go slow, and about what level of clarity you need to feel comfortable hanging out with them.

Remember that you want to avoid miscommunication, so keep it short and sweet and as direct as possible: is this a date? 

“Is this a date?”

You can acknowledge that the situation is a little awkward but you’re having a nice time and want to be on the same page. And if your time together is over and you’re on your way home still wondering if it was a date, now is the best time for a post-hang text: I had a great time and I’d love to go out with you again.

Setting up an actual day and time to meet up instead of a generic “let’s do it again sometime” sends the sign that you’re interested in more than a casual hang.

Bottom line: if you’re not sure whether or not you’re on a date, ask! 

Have A Crush On An Old Friend?

You hang out together all the time, talk and text constantly, and feel like you ‘get’ each other. Maybe you start having feelings you never had before: romantic or sexual fantasies, pangs of jealousy if they go on a date with someone else, sudden nerves when it’s time to say good night.

As with finding out where you stand with new friends, having a clarifying conversation with an old friend about where things are going can be equally uncomfortable. Ultimately, the stress of not knowing where things stand can be worse than the stress of having the talk. 

You can acknowledge that the situation is a little awkward.

Before you talk, have an idea of what you might want to try with your friend (a date? a kiss?) and how you want to proceed if they’re not interested (still be friends? take some space?)

It’s normal to start feeling like you want more, but it’s also normal if your friend wants to keep things as they are. Maybe you have a romantic future ahead of you—or maybe you’ll have something to laugh about together years down the line.

No matter what the context, it’s always a good idea to know how you’ll respond depending on what they say. Imagining their response can help clarify your own feelings, too. It never hurts to ask, so ask yourself how you feel before you ask someone else what they want.

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Best Dating Apps For Women And Gender Diverse Folks

With a ton of dating apps to choose from, which are the most enjoyable to use? And which will get you the best matches? Explore the top apps for women and gender diverse users.

Fact No. 1
Fact No. 2
Fact No. 3
Fact No. 4
The Quickie
6 minute read

Dating apps are a staple of modern dating. There are more than 8,000 dating sites out there aimed at a wide variety of users from people over 50, to those seeking cross-cultural relationships, to specific gay male subcultures.

Some apps are popular with women looking for heterosexual matches, while others offer gender diverse users a wide choice in how they specify their gender identity and who they’re interested in. Some dating apps cater to a small niche, while others have a larger mainstream reach. For instance, Tinder has at least 50 million users, including 10 million active daily users.

Using the right dating app helps you meet people on the same wavelength as you. How can you tell which dating apps are the right fit for you? Well, it depends on what you’re looking for.

What Are Your Online Dating Goals?

Finding the right dating app for you depends on what you’re hoping to get out of the experience. Some dating apps cater to specific audiences while others are more general. For instance, it’s helpful to know which gender(s) you’re looking to match with, and to know if you’re looking for casual dating or more for a long-term relationship. Different apps are suited to different users so do a bit of research to find the right app (or apps) for you.

Tip: Write down your dating goals to have a clear sense of what you want.

Find The Right Dating App For You

Once you know what you’re looking for, it’s time to find the app that works best for you. Of course, you can always use a few different apps at the same time! No need to restrict it to one if want to broaden your online dating experience.

Different apps are suited to different users so do a bit of research to find the right app (or apps) for you.

Here are some dating apps to consider: 


The low-down: OkCupid gives you more control than almost any other app over where Cupid shoots his arrows. OkCupid offers an extensive profile layout as well as a broad range of gender identities to choose from if the gender binary feels too restrictive for you.

Based on a variety of criteria the site shows your percentage match with other users. For example, according to OkCupid, you might match 90% with one person, while only 20% with someone else. The average user age on OkCupid is 32 years old, but older and younger people alike also use this app, and you can specify an age range for your matches.

Pro: OkCupid’s gender options include non-binary genders such as agender, bigender, androgynous, genderfluid, and more. There are a range of different sexual orientations you can choose including ‘heteroflexible’ or ‘questioning’ which is great if you’re new to queer or bi-curious dating.

Con: Unless you get the A-list profile, you can’t see everyone who “likes” your profile. With the basic version, you can only see if someone likes your profile if you’ve both liked each other. When you and someone else both like each other, you receive a message that says, “It’s a match!”


The low-down: Lesly markets itself as “the best dating app for lesbians and bisexual women.” Like Tinder, you have to “swipe” on people and Lesly alerts you if there’s a match. Lesly has been downloaded over 20 million times, which means a lot of women are using it. Known as “Grindr for lesbian and bisexual women”, this dating app is more oriented towards casual relationships and hookups. Still, many members have found long-term partners through Lesly.

OkCupid’s gender options include non-binary genders such as agender, bigender, androgynous, genderfluid, and more.

Pro: Lesly was created by a group of lesbian dating experts. The app doesn’t allow men to join.

Con: Free users can only do so much on Lesly. You’ll need to pay to experience all of Lesly’s features such as getting more matches and being able to send/receive messages to anyone you like.


The low-down: Women have all the power on Bumble. This dating app only lets women send the first message to matches. A woman has 24 hours to message someone or else the match disappears. Bumble also follows the “swiping” model of online dating. Around 72% of Bumble users are under 35 years old. Bumble is more relationship-oriented than other dating apps. About 85% of Bumble users claim they’re “looking for marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend.”

Pro: Bumble is your oyster if you’re a lady who likes to make the first move.

Con: On Bumble, you can only search users based on age and location, but not other information.


HER is a dating app for lesbian, bisexual, and queer women. It’s the queer hotspot women have been dreaming about. Robyn Exton, a queer woman, created HER after experiencing frustration with other dating apps geared towards women who like women. Matches are based on location and your preferred age group. You can find hookups on this app, but HER also connects you to the LGBTQ+ community in other ways. Along with finding matches, users also find out about LGBTQ+ events and news.

Pro: HER has over 4 million users. That’s a lot of women and non-binary people! No men allowed.

Con: While HER has inclusive non-binary gender options, reviewers complain that this app has a lot of fake profiles. Reviews also mention this app frequently glitching and lagging.

Women have all the power on Bumble. This dating app only lets women send the first message to matches.


And of courses there's Tinder. The low-down: Tinder is a location-based dating app which lets you like (swipe right) or reject (swipe left) its users. You get to check out users’ pictures and profiles of 500 characters or less. If both users swipe right on each other, they become a match. About 85% of Tinder users are between the ages of 18 and 34. Despite Tinder’s reputation as a hookup app, many people are looking for relationships. In one study, 37% of respondents claimed their Tinder dates led to exclusive relationships.

Pro: Tinder is ideal for meeting people in your area. As one of the biggest matchmakers of the moment, Tinder has a seemingly endless sea of possible matches!

Con: Not only do men outnumber women and non-binary people on Tinder, the app only lets you identify yourself as male or female.

Don’t be shy! Get out there and start online dating. You never know what kind of sparks will fly over the internet.

Related Articles:

The Basics Of Tinder Messaging

Your Dating App Dictionary: Abbreviations, Slang, And Emojis Explained

How To Tinder In A Gender-Diverse World

How To Build Your Tinder Profile

The Dos And Don’ts Of Bi-curious Online Dating

9 Guidelines For Navigating Hookups With Cis People When You’re Trans

The Dos And Don’ts Of Hooking Up With A Trans Person When You’re Cis


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