Dating & Hookups
September 14, 2019

How To Respectfully Take A Dick Pic

As long as it’s consensual, there’s no wrong way to send a dick pic but there are ways to enhance it. ;)
Written by
Suzannah Weiss
Published on
September 14, 2019
Updated on
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So, your partner just asked for a dick pic. Awesome. When solicited, dick pics can be fun, sexy, and even a lil’ funny if you want them to be. But how do you take a good dick pic? We’ve definitely all heard our fair share of stories about bad, or unwanted dick pics, but there are so many ways to make it sexy without making anyone cringe. Here’s some advice to those who want to send someone a respectful *and* hot dick pic, and some real-life feedback from people who’ve been on the receiving end of many a dick pic. 

First, ask if it’s okay.

Before sending a dick pic, it must be completely clear your partner wants it. Good Vibrations’ resident sexologist Carol Queen, PhD says, “Unless you are certain the recipient would like to receive it, err on the side of not sending a pic of your dick.”

Just as you should not assume someone wants a dick pic from you, you also shouldn’t assume that they’re willing to share nude photos with you, says Astroglide’s resident sexologist Dr. Jess O’Reilly, PhD. So, when sending your own pictures, ask politely if you want something from them in exchange, and don’t request NSFW photos from a stranger, even if they’ve posted nude photos of themselves online. 

To check your potential sexting partner’s comfort level, Queen recommends making a cute request like "I have some hot pics of my [fill in the blank with your euphemism of choice: dick, junk, manhood, tool, etc.] — do you want to see them?," or "I have a cat named Jack, a dog named Maude, and a dick named [fill in the blank with your dick’s name] — LMK if you want to see photos of any of them,” or simply "Want to trade sexy pics?" You can also help put their mind at ease by saying, "I don't want to just assume you want to look at junk pics unless I check first."

“A whole lot of people are waiting to hear you say this, which will make them feel seen and respected, not like you are making assumptions,” says Queen. “Being seen is sexy.”

Build anticipation. 

As long as it’s consensual, there’s no wrong way to send a dick pic – but one way you might enhance it is by including other parts of your body and/or face, says Queen. “While many possible partners might be interested in your dick, eventually, even more of them will want to know more about you as a, you know, human being.” 

You might even begin with other body parts in order to tease your partner. “Build anticipation and don’t send everything right away,” Dr. Jess advises. “Start with pics of other body parts from multiple angles. Send one at a time in a slow drip so that they’re aching for more of you.” 

Get creative.

If you want to get creative, experiment with different angles and different mediums. “You can send voice notes, GIFS, short video clips, and photos with your partner’s consent,” says Dr. Jess. “Some folks prefer the sound of your voice or a text describing a visual to a visual itself, so switch things up to experiment with different approaches.”

You can also gauge your partner’s specific preferences with playful lines like “How would you like it if I surprised you with…?,” “Do you want more of…?,” “I bet you want to take a look at ___. Am I right?,” and “Tell me what you want and I’ll do everything I can to give it to you,” says Dr. Jess. 

What if you’re in a long-term or ongoing relationship? The same rules still apply. 

If you have a relationship with someone and want to send them dick pics on an ongoing basis, you don’t necessarily need to ask for consent every time, but you do need to get consent in advance to send multiple dick pics, says Dr. Jess. “You might ask general questions to better understand your partner’s needs and continue to check in to make sure that the mood and time are right,” she says. 

A few ways to ask this are, “Do you want more of these pics?,” “Would you like to wake up to a pic of … ?,” and “How are you feeling? You in the mood for some hot pics?”

“While consent can be cultivated over time in relationships, it can also be withdrawn, so checking in is just as important as getting permission from the onset,” says Dr. Jess. 

Here are what real-life people have to say about what their dick pic likes and dislikes are.

We asked folks who’ve received dick pics what they preferred, what made a “successful” dick pic, and what they weren’t fans of. 

Dick pics are all about sexy control.

“I prefer it only if I’m in a long-term relationship with the person. It’s more about the fact that they’ll comply with any request I make...that’s what is sexy to me. Like, I could say ‘send me a pic of your elbow,’ and they’ll do it. ‘Send me a pic of your dick,’ and they’ll do it. It’s not about the actual pic. It’s about the fact that I can have this sexy control in that moment and they’re willing to ‘bend to my will.’” - Sarah, 31

Apply some photography 101

So, the bare minimum [for me] is that it has to be in focus, well lit and white balanced, and not next to anything for ~size comparison.~ No distractingly messy rooms or creepy yellow lighting, and no straight-down pictures with toes awkwardly sticking in from the edge of the frame.” - Anonymous

"What makes a good dick pic is lighting (no fluorescents or overhead), [grooming], and consent that I wanted it."  - Sophie, 33

“I don’t like aggressive lighting. It casts harsh shadows and makes the dick seem threatening and villainous. Softer light is much more pleasant and welcome, IMO. I also don’t like it when I can see the person’s pants (or, more often, gym shorts). Unless the theme of the convo is that we’re sneaking around and the fact that you had to take the dick pic quickly is part of the fun, take off your pants and make an effort.” - Anonymous, 31

“Be mindful of your surroundings, at least, whatever will be inside the frame of the pic. No piles of laundry or dirty floor distracting from the star of the show. Oh, and I prefer it hard...Is that a given?” - Anonymous, 29

Put yourself in the receiver’s shoes (or eyes). 

“It's harder to compose, but in general, I prefer photos taken from the point of view of the potential penis appreciator rather than the penis owner. (That said, I've received some really lovely, relaxed pictures that were snapped from the owner's pov; laziness can be fun in its own way!)” - Anonymous

Use your words AND your dick!

“I like when someone verbalizes what that dick pic means. Like, ‘I am so hard for you.’ The dick needs to speak. A dick vid is even better because then it’s not like something to be admired, but it’s just porn instead,” - Ali, 30

“Sexting in the first place helps, so that it doesn’t feel totally random, whether that’s at 2 a.m. or 2 p.m.” - Anonymous, 30

Include more of yourself.

“I hate when men just send them out of context. It's like... if I wanted to look at a weird, vein-y wad I would bake a pork tenderloin. It's not hot if it's out of context, meaning like... show me you, too!” - Liz, 26

Be respectful of the receiver’s time.

“They should be considerate of what time during the day they’re sending it. One time I received an unsolicited dick pic at 9 a.m. when I was at work! Caught me off guard. No good morning, no hello. I hadn’t even had my coffee yet and there I was staring at a dick on my screen.”  - Anonymous, 38

“Unfortunately for most guys I’ve dated, I find out of the blue dick pics absolutely hilarious. Like, hi, thinking of you *DICK PIC.* I’m laughing just thinking about it. But if we are having an intimate text conversation and sending sexy pics is a way to take things to the next level, I’m way more likely to actually enjoy (or at least not crack up at) a picture of your junk,” - Christina, 29

Consider a before-and-after.

“I like before and after dick pics. The super hard-on pics and the ones when they just finished. Knowing that I can make them finish even if I’m not physically around is awesome.” - Anonymous, 34

Think optics.

“I like a straight-down shot. That way you can really tell how big it is in relation to the body. Also looks longer!” - Anonymous, 30

At the end of the day, sending a dick pic shouldn’t be a thoughtless gesture. Make sure you’ve asked for consent, use your words (emojis count!), and try to get fun and creative.

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Suzannah Weiss is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, New York Magazine, and more. She holds degrees in cognitive neuroscience, modern culture and media, and gender and sexuality studies from Brown University. You can find her on Twitter at @suzannahweiss or on Instagram at @weisssuzannah.

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