Which one of these scenarios describes how you feel about your usage of porn?

1. You visit porn sites from time to time. It’s an optional add-on when you masturbate, helping you get extra turned on extra quickly. You like exploring the different videos and performers and sometimes it gives you ideas for fun new sex things you’d like to try IRL. Some of the porn you’ve found is not to your taste, but you focus on the genres that interest you, and have a few clips in your favorites that you like to come back to.
   

2. You visit porn sites almost every day. You used to be able to masturbate without watching porn, but these days it’s difficult to get turned on without it. Sometimes you even need to watch porn to get turned on before you have sex with your partner. You often find yourself distracted thinking about clips you watched or want to watch, and regularly stay up late watching porn, which is affecting your sleep. Sometimes you even watch it at work, and you are worried that you're going to get caught and be embarrassed—or worse, fired. You’re always looking for more extreme genres, and feel guilty about the sort of videos you’ve started watching. Cutting back on your porn use was your New Year’s resolution, but you’ve found it hard to dial it back. You feel a bit out of control.
   

If option two best reflects your relationship with porn, you could be a compulsive user. Porn addiction, or the compulsive use of porn, happens when seeking and viewing porn disrupts a person’s life.

Is Porn Taking Over?

It’s important to emphasize that there’s nothing wrong with watching and enjoying porn. Porn use is only a problem when you or your partner feel that it is having a negative effect on you or your relationship. Signs that your porn use may be a problem include: feeling out of control with your porn use, thinking about porn constantly, not sleeping enough because you’re up watching porn, and/or not going to work or out with friends because you’d rather be tuning into porn.

There’s nothing wrong with watching and enjoying porn. Porn use is only a problem when you or your partner feel that it is having a negative effect on you or your relationship.

Although the terms “sex addiction” and “porn addiction” are widely used, there is debate among the experts about whether “addiction” is the right word for it. “Compulsive use” may be a more suitable term since it may not meet the technical definition of addiction. What most experts agree on, however, is that porn use can definitely be a problem for some people, causing major disruptions in their lives and relationships.

Signs that your porn use may be a problem include: thinking about porn constantly, not sleeping enough because you’re up watching porn, and/or not going to work or out with friends because you’d rather be tuning into porn.

If you feel like your porn use is getting out of control, consider consulting a counselor or your doctor to get some advice and support. You can also try setting restrictions on your browser to help limit what sites you can view and when.

Porn And Your Partner

Compulsive porn use can also be hard on partners. If your partner is watching a lot of porn, it can negatively impact your relationship, sex life, and self esteem—for a wide range of reasons. Perhaps your partner seems less interested in spending time with you, or you find yourself spending a lot of time arguing about their porn use. You may also feel pressure for your sex life to resemble a certain porn scene, or you worry that your partner no longer finds you attractive since you don’t look like a porn performer.

A partner’s compulsive porn usage is not a reflection on you, your attractiveness, or your value

If your partner’s porn use is affecting your relationship and intimate life in any of these ways, it’s valuable to find someone to talk to about it, whether that’s a trusted friend or a professional. Keep in mind, too, that your partner’s compulsive porn usage is not a reflection on you, your attractiveness, or your value. And while you may want to support your partner in adjusting how much porn they’re watching, the decision to make that change—and the work to make that change happen—has to be their own.