Sex Tips, Advice, And Questions

3 minute read

Let’s face it: We all have questions about sex. From the most basic, to the more complex, it’s important we ask these questions and get all the information we need so that we can have a safe and enjoyable time. So, if you’re wondering if you can have sex with a UTI, or just how to have sex in general, you’re in the right place. It’s never too early or late to get all the information you need.

What does sex feel like?

Having sex for the first time can feel anywhere from “awesome!” to “ok” to “not enjoyable”. Beforehand you may feel excited and/or a bit nervous. During the experience you may feel arousal, sexual pleasure, possibly orgasm, and possibly some pain. Afterwards you may feel good about it or not so good about it. First time sex is different for everyone.

How to have sex

“Having sex” means different things to different people. Common elements include arousal and genital touch. Oral sex or hand sex might be part of it, penetration too. Here’s a quick guide on how to have sex: 

1. Be sure you and your partner are consenting. 

2. Communicate what you’re into or not into. (You can also communicate that you don’t know, and are experimenting.) 

3. If you’re new to sex, consider taking things slow and touching yourself and your partner in ways that feel good. 

4. Explore touch you like further, whether that’s external touch or penetration.

5. If you enjoy penetration, use lube and protection, if necessary. Try different speeds, pressure, and motion. 

6. Check in with each other throughout the experience to make sure everyone is comfortable. 

7. Remember that while orgasm can be nice, it doesn’t have to be the goal of sex.  Continue having sex for as long as it’s enjoyable, and not just until somebody orgasms.

Is it normal to bleed after sex

For people with vaginas, it can sometimes be common to bleed a little after penetrative sex. This is not usually a sign of anything serious. If it is frequent, heavy, or painful however, see a doctor. Common reasons for bleeding after sex include inflammation of the cervix, friction from sex, some early or late period blood, or an infection (ie. yeast infection or STI).

How long does it take to get pregnant after sex?

After sperm enters the vagina, fertilization may be as quick as a few minutes, or as long as six days. The fertilized egg implants in the uterus wall five to 10 days later. Around this time is when pregnancy hormones start being detectable on a pregnancy test.

How to last longer during sex

There are a few methods you can try to last longer during sex. “Edging,” or orgasm control, is one way to last longer and to have more intense orgasms. Try it by taking yourself to the edge or orgasm, but stop right before you climax. Take a break and calm down. Then start again, repeat several times. This training helps you get used to the feelings when you’re nearing orgasm and to have more control. If you’re a penis-owner, you can also try a toy like a cock ring, which is intended to help you stay harder longer.

How to increase sex drive

Do more of what turns you on AND actively work to remove the stresses and barriers to arousal. You may want to add: massage, sex toys, porn or erotica. But also resolving conflict, redistributing domestic responsibilities, and allocating more time to relax can really help you connect with your sexual desire.

Can you have sex on your period?

Yes! If it’s comfortable and you’re into it there’s no reason not to. Some people feel quite horny during their period. Putting down a towel can help manage any mess.

Can you have sex with a UTI?

Having sex with a UTI can make the infection worse, so it’s best not to. It can also be painful! However, if you are going to then make sure you drink plenty of water and pee before and after. Keep taking your antibiotics until you finish the course.

Can you have sex while pregnant?

Yes, having sex while pregnant is totally fine unless your doctor has advised you not to. It won’t hurt you or your baby.

How many calories does sex burn?

It depends how long you go for and how athletic your sex session is, but one study has extimated that sex burns around 70-100 calories.

Anyone who is having sex, or is interested in having sex, should have as much information as possible about sex so they can have a safe, and pleasurable experience. Sometimes the questions about sex we think are the most basic, are actually the most complicated, and vice versa. What’s important is to simply ask and get educated.

Louise Bourchier, MPH

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Louise Bourchier is a sex educator and sex researcher with 8 years experience in the field. She teaches about sexual health, sexual pleasure, and communication in relationships through workshops, live-streams, and with written content. Using a sex-positive approach, a dash of humour, and bag full of fun props, Louise’s style of sex education for adults is not what you got in high school! Since 2011 she has taught over a hundred workshops to a wide range of audiences, from university students, to refugees, to medical professionals, to adult store clientele. She has a Masters of Public Health, and is currently a PhD candidate.

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