What You Need To Know About G-Spots

The G-spot can be a bit elusive if you don’t know how to find or stimulate it. But given proper attention, the G-spot can be one of the most erogenous zones

In this stream, founder of Passion by Kait and sex educator Kait Scalisi tells us what we need to know about G-spots

While there is some debate on whether the G-spot even exists, much of this has to do with people not knowing how to locate it. Try finding it with a finger first. Many vagina-owners report an area on their frontal vaginal wall, on the belly button side, that feels good when touched. It may feel like a bit rougher than other parts of the vagina, like it has ridges. Though there isn’t much research on where and what the G-spot is exactly, so long as we know it brings us pleasure, Scalisi says we can focus on it and let the research catch up later. 

Because everyone’s G-spot is different, it’s good to think of it as a zone, not one particular point of interest, you can explore and play to figure out how to maximize pleasure. Do a search after you’re already aroused as your vagina will be nice and swollen and it can be easier to feel around for it. Look for something that feels a bit different from the rest of the vagina — like the roof of your mouth, not the inside of your cheek. It’s very close to the urethral opening, so you can try locating the area and applying pressure. 

To touch it, try making a “come hither” motion over it with fingers lightly, then building pressure and speed. A toy like the Uma G-spot vibrator or the Pure Wand can also be helpful for reaching the G-spot as they are both curved in a way to help you reach it. There are also a few different positions to help you reach the G-spot. Doggy style can help something inserted better reach the frontal vaginal wall with pressure. If you are having penetrative sex, try spooning with the penetrating partner gently thrusting from the back. This directs the penis or dildo to that frontal vaginal wall.

With stimulation, you could have a G-spot orgasm, which people report to be much more full-bodied versus a clitoral orgasm, which people say is like a pointed eruption. It’s different for everyone. As the G-spot is being stimulated, try breathing deep because it can help move the pelvic floor up and down. Controlling the pelvic floor in that way, and practicing kegels, can help strengthen an orgasm. Squirting, when fluid ejaculates from Skene’s glands. is also more common with G-spot stimulation and orgasm. That said, not everyone does squirt from a G-spot orgasm, and those who do may squirt different amounts. 

With all this in mind, know that G-spot stimulation is not the end all be all. Some people love it, some people are meh about it, some people can never really find it to begin with. Our bodies, and what turns them on is different, and sometimes just doing a little exploring and playing can be enough. But if you do want to try G-spot stimulation, go to town!

Video transcript

Welcome everyone. Thank you so much for joining me and O.school for all about the G-spot. I'm really excited to be talking about this topic. And actually this morning while I was scrolling through Twitter, one of the sexual health journals actually published a new article about the G-spot today. So it was very divine timing, if you will. So welcome everyone, again, as you're coming in say hello in the chat box. Let us know where you're coming from if you're comfortable doing that and remember that the chat is completely anonymous. It's also moderated and we'll get into all that. So for those of you who are new to me or maybe you don't remember from last month, my name is Kait Scalisi. I am a sex educator and the founder of Passion by Kait, which is an award winning resource for women and couples who crave a sex life that's as intimate, exciting and fulfilling as the rest of their relationship. So through my work I do these webinars, obviously. I do a ton of writing. I do workshops in person and I do one on one counseling. And the goal of all of that is to help people like you find freedom in pleasure. The freedom to say yes to no and ask for what you want, your desires, all of them and to work through, let go, heal, move past, release, etc., the many things that often hold us back from our desires and from saying yes. So often in this conversation we hear all about, like here, just say yes to your desires. But there are some really real, practical reasons on the systemic level, on the individual level why that's easier said than done. So we are gonna talk, that's the framework in which we are going to talk about the G-spot tonight. My background is in neuroscience and public health, so we'll geek out a little bit on that but not too much, don't worry. I make it fun. I have my assistant here, this is Vicky, the vulva. And Cleo, the clitoris. They're gonna be helping me out tonight and some toys, it's gonna be great. So again, welcome. As you're coming in say hello in the chat, let us know where you're coming from if you want to. The chat is anonymous. A couple of disclaimers and housekeeping. First and foremost, just wanna give the disclaimer that I am not a sex therapist, I am a sex educator, slightly different modus operandi, if you will. How we work is slightly different. I wanna give a big shout out and thank you to my moderator tonight, Justin, who's gonna be watching the chat. Again, it's anonymous. It's moderated and Justin will tell you all about that in a couple of minutes. Excuse me. Want to remind you that if you enjoy this webinar, if you love O.school and its mission that we appreciate tips. They support everything that we do here so that we could keep bringing you these awesome webinars for free to you. So if you are enjoying this, if you wanna support O.school, make sure you hit that tip jar. I always offer to people as a thank you for that support, I will send you a resource list. All you have to do is email me and I'll get you all that contact info. We're gonna make sure you have everything you need. So I could send you a bunch of different resources as a thank you for supporting us. All right, lots more people trickling in. Gonna take a drink of water and we are gonna jump in all about the G-spot. Fantastic. Cool. So this is an ask me anything. I'm gonna go through some basic information but of course, any questions you have please put them in the chat. If it's something that I'm gonna go through then I'll just go through the material. And if you still have more questions, just let us know. Let's have a conversation tonight so that you leave with the information, the tools, the wisdom, the advice, the techniques, all that stuff that you need so that you can experience G-spot pleasure. Okay, first and foremost, does the G-spot exist/what is it/where is it? I mentioned before that at the Journal of Sexual Medicine released a new article today about the G-spot. And the article basically was looking at is there an anatomical structure that we could identify that's different when we look at cadavers, when we examine the vagina and around the urethra, is there something different? And they concluded no. Past studies have concluded yes and there's just a lot of controversy about does the G-spot exist? In my opinion that isn't quite the right question to be asking. That and what is it aren't really the point because what we know is that so, so many people with vulvas report that there is an area, a spot or a zone, etc., on their frontal vaginal walls, that's the bellybutton side of the vagina, right, towards the front of your body that when stimulated feels really yummy and different than other parts of their vagina. So that is good enough for me. As much as I love research, I support research. Again, I'm a big old nerd. But as much as I support research also I believe that we know our bodies best. And so over the last decade of teaching sex ed, hundreds upon hundreds of people with vulvas are telling me about their G-spot. I think it exists, okay. And what is it? Where is it? So in terms of what it is, there's lots of different theories. Again, lots of controversy around this topic, partially because it has to do with what we typically think of as female sexuality, partially because, I don't know, patriarchy and we don't want women to have pleasure, okay. So in terms of what it is, there are several different theories. Some people think it's the urethral sponge so it kind of is a tissue that wraps around the urethra which is where you pee out of. Some people think it is part of the internal clitoris. Some people think it's a totally different anatomic structure. Again, I don't necessarily think we need to get caught on what it is and does it as a separate anatomical structure exist? Because if it's an option to bring us pleasure, to bring us freedom in pleasure, then let's have fun and explore it and not get caught up in what exactly is this and why does it feel good? So I want to talk quickly or show quickly a little bit more detail. So this is Vicky, the vulva. This is the clitoral hood. See, this is the clitoral glands. And then you have the little rose here, which is the urethra opening, the pee hole. And you could see this is kind of, this other pink material, lighter pink material is tucked up in. This is the G-spot. And if I were to, nope, we don't want this to actually happen in real life but it's a puppet so we can do it, you can see how it would tuck right back in. So that's what we think of when we think of the G-spot. It's on that side. Okay, now on here it's a different color material and you could see that it's ridge instead of flat, and that's because many people with vulvas report that as they're feeling or as their partner is feeling along that frontal vaginal wall there's an area that feels less smooth, like most of the vagina feels smooth or like the inside of your cheek if you wanna give that a quick feel with your tongue and there's an area that feels more ridged or bumpy or spongy, more like the roof of your mouth. So that's why its depicted like that on there. And again, so many people report feeling this. Could it just be how the blood vessels are different, how it's close to the urethra? Maybe, again not concerned with it. So there's an area that many people feel that feels fundamentally different from the rest of the vagina. Now, I also mentioned maybe it's part of the internal clitoris. So you might recognize this from the O.school logo. So the clitoris is much bigger than just this little bump that we see here, this little knob. This is like the tip of the penis. It's the tip of the clit. So this actually sits kind of right here and it goes a little bit back and down. So these parts, these legs here or bulbs, excuse me, wrap around the vagina. So it may just be that as we're thrusting we're stimulating this part of the internal clitoris and that's just giving us extra pleasure and we didn't know that the clitoris had this larger structure so we thought it was something else. Again, this is why I'm not really worried about what exactly is the G-spot? It gives us pleasure, yay okay. So in terms of what it is, does it exist, where it is? That's how I approach that. That's how I teach that. And lots of different ways to experience pleasure and for your own pleasure. Okay, the other thing, other two kind of general pieces I like to teach when I'm talking about the G-spot. Number one, the doctor who initially "discovered" the G-spot, I'm sure people had found it prior to that. But the one who takes claim for it initially called it a G-zone and this language, it may sound nitpicky but I have found, especially with my workshop and counseling clients that this has been really helpful to them. Because when you hear G-spot you think X marks the spot. I have to find that one point on my frontal vaginal wall and I gotta find it and stimulate it, right. But a zone is more open. So everybody's body is different. This goes for literally every part of your body, from how big your nose is to how close or far apart your eyes are, to where exactly this extra sensitive area that we call the G-spot is along the frontal vaginal wall. So it may be like in Vicky here, very close to the vaginal opening or it may be further back and closer to the cervix. Okay, so it may be much further back in the body. It also may be, yes, more like an X marks the spot, one area. Or it could be more spread out along the entire frontal vaginal wall and anywhere in between, right. I'm talking about the two ends of the spectrum north each of these. So everybody is different and exactly where it is, exactly how much of the tissue it takes up, it's gonna be different. Which means you get to experiment and you get to play. And when we open these conversations about sex beyond here's the one way to do this and here's the one way to do that and this is exactly what the G-spot is, it can feel overwhelming because we like to put everything in little boxes and have very clear directions. But it's also very freeing because it means that you get to explore and play and figure out what's true for your body so you can maximize the pleasure that you experience, even if that's different from someone else, for other people in your life. It also means you have to communicate better with partners but thankfully there are lots and lots of streams about sexual communication on O.school so you should definitely check those out if you are struggling. Also a good time, again, to mention one of the resources that I will send out to anyone who tips is how to guide your partner to your G-spot so that you can help instruct them a little bit more. So again, if you wanna give a tip, support O.school's mission, support the work that I'm doing here and get all those bonus resources. Definitely click that little tip jar. Okay, so just to quickly recap 'cause I'm seeing some new people hop on. Does the G-spot exist? Yes. Do we know exactly what it is? No. It's better to think of it as more of a zone and you get to explore and play to figure out exactly where yours is, how sensitive it is and if it's more, kind of like an X marks the spot, very condensed or a little bit more diffuse along that frontal or bellybutton side of the vagina. Again, come put your questions in the chat if you have them. I know there's already a few in there and I'm hoping that I'm answering them as we go through. If you have other ones, definitely let us know. Okay, cool. I wanna expand a little bit on the sensitivity piece. The way that the G-spot is typically portrayed is that first it tends to be conflated with a vaginal orgasm, an internal orgasm, we're typically talking about the G-spot orgasm. And we tend to think of it as more explosive or intense or deeper or full-bodied compared to a clitoral orgasm. I don't really like defining or categorizing orgasms in that way anyways, especially if it turns out that the G-spot is part of the internal clitoris, then it's kind of a moot point. But I say all this because I've had some counseling clients where we've done a lot of work, separately, we don't do hands on work. But they've done their work with my guidance to find their G-spot and they experience an orgasm from it and it's good, it feels good 'cause it's an orgasm, but it's not this explosive thing that they've been promised. And there are ways to build on that and so on. And I've had other people where the second they found it they were just like, done, it was the most amazing orgasm of their lives and it was exactly what was promised to them, right. So this idea that everyone is different and how sensitive yours will be, similarly, I have some clients who just from doing their Kegel exercises which are those pelvic floor squeezes, the muscles that you use to stop the flow of pee when you're in the bathroom, they can't do their Kegels in public because it tends to lead to this internal orgasm, this G-spot orgasm. And then other people for whom they, all of the tricks, it's been okay. So think of the G-spot again as something to explore, to play with, to see if it's something that you wanna dedicate your time to. With sex I always say there's no normal, there's only more and less common. And if you really want to find or explore a certain aspect of sex then go for it. But if you are doing it because you feel like you should or you have to or something like that, take this as your sign and give yourself the permission to let the shoulds go. One of my favorite phrases is don't should all over yourself. If you wanna find it, yay, that's why you're here I'm assuming. But I also wanna give permission because I hear a lot from clients, well, I really want to 'cause I've heard it's pretty good and they're not really that into it. So it's always great to play and explore. Okay, cool. So you have generally found your G-spot, now what do you do with it? How do you stimulate it? How do you experience this G-spot orgasm that typically is illusive or talked about as if it's illusive? How do you find it? How do you stimulate it? So to find it, again, it's along that frontal vaginal wall. If you have smaller hands you may want to use a toy or your partner's hands. Or if your partner has small hands they may wanna use a toy, right. And I'm gonna talk about toys in a little bit. But you're gonna just insert your fingers or the toy and look for an area that feels, if you're using your fingers, again, you could look for a bumpier, more ridged area like the roof of your mouth. And if you're using a toy, look for an area that maybe feels more sensitive. For G-spot exploration I always recommend being really aroused or already having had an orgasm, especially if this is something that maybe you've been working on for a while and you really wanna find it. It's just gonna make it easier because all of the tissue in and around the vagina will be nice and swollen and erect and you'll be nice and turned on. And so everything will be more sensitive and easier to find and feel better when you stimulate it. Of course, if you have your orgasm you tend to be hyper sensitive afterwards, maybe take a beat and then go back to it or just get really, really turned on. So you wanna be like flushed and panting, lots of time in foreplay, practically begging for it, then go explore your G-spot, okay. Again, look for something that feels a little bit different from the rest of the vagina, which feels more like the inside of the cheek, G-spot roof of our mouth. You definitely want to use lube because there's definitely gonna be some friction as you're stimulating it and lube decreases friction, that's its whole purpose. But there's two great reasons why that's good. Number one is that it reduces the risk of any small tears or scratches. And number two is that decreased friction means more sensation. So again, if we're looking to stimulate something that is illusive or that's hard to find or hard to stimulate, you wanna do everything you can to heighten that sensation, okay. Then number three, four, I've lost count, it's fine. You wanna follow the sensation of feeling like you're going to pee. So because of the G-spot's location on that frontal vaginal wall, you'll notice it's very close to the urethra. This is the pee hole, urethral opening. So it's very close to the urethra. So you're gonna put pressure, there's gonna be pressure through the vagina up on the urethra and it may feel like you're going to pee. If you are really worried about peeing I recommend two things. Number one, pee before you start getting down and dirty, getting it on. So that way leads to number two, you can assure yourself that you're not going to pee because you've just peed. So then you're like, okay I'm not, it's fine. Like, I know that this is just the sensation. And you wanna follow that sensation when you find it. You may also want to bear down and it sounds counter intuitive 'cause you're like, I feel like I have to pee, why am I gonna bear down? 'Cause you're applying additional pressure so it's gonna help you kind of get over that hump and then have lots of yummy G-spot pleasure. Now, most of the G-spot advice talks about making a come-hither motion to stimulate it. And that is absolutely one way you can stimulate the G-spot. Again, with your fingers or partner's fingers it's gonna be easiest to do that. But there are also different ways to stimulate it. So you don't only have to do that but it's really common, it's really popular. But again, when it comes to sex there's no normal, just more or less common. So you could also think about thrusting, just bring, I don't know why I keep putting her down. So you can also think about thrusting with focus on that frontal vaginal wall. So thinking about whether that's the fingers, penis, a toy doesn't matter. Think about tapping, massaging. And a quick note about massaging. There are some people who, they enjoy as much pressure on their G-spot as they do on a shoulder massage. So that's a lot of pressure. And I'm gonna show you a tool, a toy in a little bit that makes that a lot easier so that you don't get your fingers warn out. And then you can also think about dragging, so it would be kind of in thrusting and then applying pressure on the way out. So all of those are really good, fun ways to explore whether you are just looking for your G-spot, looking to have your first G-spot orgasm or just looking to change up your G-spot play and your G-spot stimulation. And as with everything in sex I always recommend starting lightly and then you could build up the pressure, the speed, the intensity. But always start slow, especially again, if you're post orgasm and you're feeling a little extra sensitive, start slow, okay All right. What does a G-spot orgasm feel like? So I touched on this a little bit already in terms of they can be really explosive, full body or they could be more whisper. All orgasms exist on a spectrum from, again, that full body, can't move, just need to find some water, to that more whisper, quiet, I kind of had some release, there is a build up and then it kind of felt like not so much, right. Orgasms exist on that spectrum. And G-spot orgasms are exactly the same. So it may be a really amazing experience sometimes, maybe a less explosive experience sometimes. It's all great. All orgasms are wonderful and wonderful, okay. So again, if you have any questions pop them in the chat box. Let me know if these tips, if this advice around the questions is answering the questions you've already put in there and if you want, again, more details or have me expand on anything, just let me know. This is an ask me anything so I'm here to answer all your questions, okay. Let's talk a little bit about squirting, okay. Squirting, squirting. Again, something with a lot of mythology around it I feel like. It's again, this like illusive thing that maybe some people but not all people with vulvas can do. First and foremost, squirting and female ejaculation are not the same, fun fact. The fluids come from different glands and typically different amounts. So ejaculation from the vulva typically is less fluid. It's more than you just getting wet, but a little bit less. It comes from the Bartholin's glands, which are glands located just inside the vaginal opening. I'm like, I have her right here, though why am I not using it? So it comes from just inside here, right. But that would be ejaculation. That can happen with lots of different type of stimulation and all sorts of ejaculation and squirting are more common with G-spot stimulation. And to be honest, I don't know that anyone knows why? It's most likely where things are located, specifically because when you squirt the higher amount of fluids, a bigger amount of fluid and it comes from the Skene's glands which are further inside, they're closer to the urethra. And you could think of the Skene's glands as the prostate inside people with vulvas. So the prostate with people with penises creates a lot of the fluid that goes into the ejaculate. And so the Skene's glands do exactly the same. So because of where the G-spot is located you're actually stimulating those. You're stimulating all the areas around those which can lead to the release. And with squirting it could be a lot. It could be, I've heard, again, there's like all different amounts out there but it can be a large amount. Sometimes it will come out in a gush. Sometimes it will come out in a slow trickle. It's kind of like, I'm gonna talk about pregnancy for one second, it's kind of like when your water breaks. And in the movies we always see it just like And in porn a lot of the time we see squirting as this like big, again, explosive event and there's a lot of fluid and it's coming out. And it can be that and then that's great. And also in real life, often, with both of these things it can be a little bit more of a slow trickle or kind of common fits and spurts, if you will. And so it can be a little bit and then there's more stimulation and a little bit more and then there's more stimulation. So are you always gonna squirt? Not necessarily. I know I have many clients whom they were having G-spot orgasms regularly and then several years in they don't know what happened, they just started squirting. They weren't even really, it wasn't that they were trying for it, some were, but they were able to start. So it is something that can happen. If it's not happening yet I always recommend, start with exploring the G-spot more. Start with exploring that frontal vaginal wall area without the pressure of having to orgasm, without the pressure of having to squirt and see where it takes you. See what feels good. Focus on the pleasure. Focus on the journey and the more you can lean into that the easier it ultimately is to get to these goals that we talk about and we desire and we wanna have. So we follow the pleasure then the other things come along with it, okay. Is squirting pee? Great question, common question. A couple of years ago there was a study that came out that said definitively squirting is pee and I again ask this question every time I do a workshop and anytime I'm talking about the G-spot with a counseling client. And it was so fascinating to see how this research was reported and how the public responded, versus how sex educators responded. And so how sex educators responded was twofold. Number one, read the article more in depth. And what they found was that the individuals who did have a lot of squirt, who were squirting, their bladders actually filled up. So they had them empty their bladders before stimulating themselves and their bladders refilled before the squirting happened. So you may or may not know that your bladder doesn't fill that quickly, typically, with urine. So it's different. We know that it's coming from these Skene's glands. That's what we know. So no, it is not pee any more than ejaculation coming out of a penis is pee. What I mean by that is, right, ejaculate from a penis, pee and ejaculate come out the same hole, the same tube. So as the ejaculate is traveling down that tube it's going to pick up residual pee or any of the constituents of urine, right. So if the bladder is refilling after you've peed, again, with people with vulvas, then yes, when you look at the, when you examine the makeup of the squirt of the female ejaculate there's going to be some elements of pee in it even though it's not pee. The second thing that all the sex educators are saying were just like, have you smelled it? It doesn't smell like pee. It's not pee because it doesn't smell like pee. So this is something you can try on your own if you would like. These are the things that as sex educators we're like, let's see if it smells like pee after we squirt. Let's just figure this out once and for all. So different color, different smell. Yes, some of the constituents are the same but no, it is not pee. It just has some constituents of urine in it, just like ejaculate from a penis does. Okay, cool. That's squirting. So I want to just do a recap as I know I'm seeing people jump on. So I wanna make sure, I'll do a big final recap too and I definitely want to recap. So does the G-spot exist? Yes. Excuse me, it's very humid here today. What is it? We don't exactly know and quite frankly, I don't really care because what I know from 10 years of working with people's vulvas around sex and pleasure, is that there's an area for many people on that frontal vaginal wall that when stimulated feels very good. It might be a very small area or more diffuse, more of a G-zone all along. In terms of stimulating it, you wanna get turned on first. Use lube, insert fingers and look for something that feels like, or search with your fingers or a toy, for something that feels like the roof of your mouth versus the inside of your cheek. You can come-hither. You can give it a nice deep massage, like a shoulder level massage. Tap, thrust, drag, have fun, play, explore, see what feels good for you and your body where you are in that moment. And remember it might change. Your G-spot orgasms may be very explosive or they may feel not that different from the regular orgasms that you're having. And in terms of squirting, it is not pee. We know that the bladder refills and there can be a lot of fluid. That squirting, ejaculation for people with vulvas is less amount of fluid, different type of fluid coming from a different place, okay. The other thing I wanna talk about with squirting too is again, when you feel like you have to pee, what do you do? If you're wanting to try and teach yourself how to squirt, what do you do? So when you feel that sensation, again, pee beforehand so you could reassure yourself that you're not going to pee. When you feel that sensation follow through with it and when you feel like you're about to reach an orgasm or reach a peak of sensation, you could actually bear down. And this can help, as soon as you feel like you have to pee, you can also start to bear down. This can help and release any fluid that is building up and also help you experience a nice strong orgasm. The other thing you wanna think about doing is breathing really deeply. So many of us carry, I mentioned quickly about the pelvic floor before, but many of us carry a lot of tension in the pelvic floor. Pelvic floor is muscles that go up in the vaginal opening or skirt on the balls to the anal opening, okay. And it's kind of, it's like a hammock set of muscles. And when we breathe really deeply, not only does our belly expand, the diaphragm kind of moves up, right. But the pelvic floor actually moves down and then when we exhale the diaphragm and pelvic floor come back together, and that can be really calming and help tension release. And right, what else is an orgasm but release of tension. So as you're getting closer to an orgasm and this goes for all orgasms, think about actually trying to deepen your breath instead of get that really high pitched short breath. And if you can breath through your nose it will feel totally different because how that engages your diaphragm and your pelvic floor and how much oxygen it's pulling in also is different. Fun facts, pelvic floor physical therapy is full of wondrous tips and facts that then I get to apply to sex education and it's magic, magic. I'll do a stream about pelvic floor PT and I think there are other ones as well. Which means it's time for me to remind you, I didn't even do this on purpose y'all. And Justin just put in the chat as well that if you're enjoying yourself, if you are learning some new stuff, if you love O.school and you love these free webinars that we so, so appreciate your support, obviously showing up and also in the form of tips which are split between O.school, so that they can keep running and keep operating these, and us PeDRA professionals who show up and volunteer our time. So you can just tip that tip jar and as a thank you from me, I'll send along some bonus resources. You can just email me, it's passionbykait, K-A-I-T @gmail. And Justin will put all of my contact information in the chat in a little bit so that you have it. For those of you just coming on, welcome and please bring your questions. Pop them in the chat. This is an ask me anything so put your questions in there and I will answer them for you. ♪ All about G-spot, G-spot ♪ So the last thing I wanna talk about are toys and positions. I guess that's the last two things, if you will. So let's start with positions and then I will reach over here and open up my toy box. So when it comes to positions, again, you wanna think about what are the best sex positions for stimulating the G-spot, that frontal vaginal wall, right? Hi, Mathew. Welcome. No worries about being late. We're glad to have you. So what are some positions that naturally, fingers, well penis, dildo are gonna stimulate that? So the most obvious one is doggy style. And you wanna especially with doggy style think about having an arch in the back, right. So you wanna think about arching your back. There's a song about this, it is accurate. And because that will further put it so that when, again, the penis or dildo is entering it's pressing against, it's applying pressure against that and stimulation against that frontal vaginal wall. Yes, bring all of your questions. If I answered them already, that is okay. Pop them in the chats. So yes, doggy style again with the arched back. And you can think about other sort of entry rear entry positions for the vagina, obviously, not the butt, that will also do this. So spooning, just like the favorite cuddling position. The penetrating partner is, both partners are laying on their side. The penetrating partner is in the back and they're gently thrusting. And again, it's gonna direct the penis or dildo to that frontal, along that frontal vaginal wall for extra stimulation. You can also think about reverse cowgirl. So the person with the vulva would be on top and they can kind of control exactly the angle of their pelvis and how much arch they have in their back. More arch is better, remember, ♪ arch your back, arch your back. ♪ And they could get kind of, that gives that person the most control of these positions to get the type of stimulation they want in the pattern and the speed and the amount of pressure and depth. Okay, so as I mentioned earlier again, right, exactly where the G-spot is along that frontal vaginal wall varies. So if it's really close you might want more shallow penetration. Spooning is great for that. Also great if you are with someone who has a long penis. If you want more depth, doggy style, reverse cowgirl give a little bit more depth. Okay, so just think, explore, play, think about finding your G-spot on your own first and then working with a partner with maybe their hands, their tongue, some toys and maybe going on to intercourse. And again, if there are other positions that you enjoy, great, that give you that sensation, great. Those are three really good ones for the G-spot. So the last thing, we're gonna wrap up with, we're not wrapping up just yet. But you know what I mean, we're gonna wrap up the conversation with questions and toys. So okay, I have to, I don't have a ton of space in my apartment 'cause New York City apartments, no one has a lot of space. I need to just reorganize everything over here quickly and grab all of the toys. I'm gonna start with a little bit of preventative/strengthening and talk about Kegel beads. And so as I mentioned before, some people from doing pelvic floor exercises from these Kegels can experience a G-spot orgasm and/or G-spot pleasure. And strengthening, both relaxing and strengthening the pelvic floor can also aid an enhancing orgasm, because when you experience orgasm from the G-spot or otherwise, often those muscles in and around the vagina and anus are contracting. So as long as they're not tight as in tight Charley horse or knot in your back tight, they're strong, they can contract faster and more strongly. But again, that deep breathing will help relax and open and enhance a release. So I really like Kegel beads for this. These are my favorites. These are actually the only available product I recommend at this point. And Justin will give you some shopping links in the chat so you could find all these. But I like these because you kind of get a build your own weight lifting set here and you just put them in and try them when you're at home first. A lot of people can go about their day. If you have a weaker pelvic floor that's fine but what you can do is instead of putting them in and then running errands, going on the Eliptical is really fun with these in. You would lay down and then you would practice kind of pulling on them as you tighten those muscles. So you would inhale and then as you exhale you would pull gently and squeeze the muscles around them, right. But if you're standing up gravity is pulling them down and those muscles are automatically contracting and relaxing. And that relaxation is really important because again, a lot of us carry tension in those muscles in and around the vagina and anus. The idea of being a tight ass is completely physiologically accurate. I'm gonna do some more toys and then I promise I will get to all of these questions. Great questions, keep them coming. I love it. I'm gonna start small. One thing you will notice is that all G-spot toys, I'm just gonna whip them all out, so I've decided, have a curve. You can see they all have a curve and some have more of a curve than others and that's fine. But if you think about, again, where the G-spot is, that frontal vaginal wall, that curve up is going to stimulate it. Remember, this is our G-spot, the pink kind of right there, not that pink, that pink. Okay, so that's gonna stimulate it. Same thing if you have a vulva and your partner has a penis that is curved, it's gonna be more likely to stimulate the G-spot to begin with. Or if you want to look for a dildo that's curved, great option. These are all vibrators that I have but they're also a great for your dildos as well. And so this is one of my favorite toys to recommend when you are starting G-spot exploration because it has this very rounded, wider tip, which means that you can cover more area and explore. And it also means you can get a little bit more pressure if you're massaging or tapping or kind of dragging along that frontal vaginal wall. So this is the Uma. And again, I'm gonna share those links to shop and then you can just type in the name if you want. So this is the Uma. It's fantastic, lots of settings. Very soft, I like just stroking this one. You could think about, again, as you're exploring your G-spot, is it closer to the vaginal opening or further up towards the cervix? And so what length toy do you want? How much of a curve do you want? Do you wanna have to do more rocking or do you wanna just be able to thrust? There's no right answer. It's just about what feels good for you. Okay, reverse cowgirl scenes, okay, reverse cowgirl seems it would be directing the stimulation towards the back. I'll address it in a second. Thank you for that. Oh, this one just turned on. Turn that off. Then again, kind of longer options. You'll see some of these have clitoral stimulation as well but this is a longer option. This one actually thrusts back and forth. So it does a little bit of the work for you, which can be very fun. It's also great if you, it's a little bigger, it's a little longer so depending on your body and what you like. Okay, keep those questions coming. I'm watching the time and making sure I'll have time to get to all of them. Okay, we have two more. Literally have to go around to the other side of the table to grab these. Yay, New York. This is the Sync and it's a dual stimulating vibrator. So there's two different sides. You could see that this one is much thinner than this side. This is the part that goes in you. So with this, this side stays outside and stimulates the clitoris. The other part as you can see curves in to stimulate the G-spot. So you can use it like this and it's a great little vibrator, right. Non-phallic, gets the stimulation you want or you could also use this with a partner, thrusting underneath, again, with either penis or a dildo. And the benefit of that is as they're thrusting they're adding some pressure to your G-spot, which as we talked about before, some G-spots need a lot of pressure, a lot of deep kind of massaging. So additional pressure can be really nice. And one of my favorite things about this is that you can control each arm separately. So if you have a really sensitive clitoris but your G-spot needs a lot of stimulation, you could have this side turned down really low and this side turned on really high. So you can really customize it. It also adjusts, you can kind of adjust it so that it fits your body, so that it won't fall out or shift around as if you're using it with a partner and having intercourse with them. So really great option again, this is the Sync and it's just a pretty color too. it hides in it's little case here. Okay and keep those questions coming. I can't wait to answer all of them. It's gonna be awesome. And then in this beautiful box here that I can barely pick up. So you have tried everything to find your G-spot. It's not really working. You've found it but you're not having the orgasm you want. You aren't squirting and you want to be, what do you do? That is where this toy comes in. And if it looks like I'm struggling it's because it's heavy, okay. And this is the Pure Wand. It is completely stainless steel. It's also great for working out neck and shoulder stuff or using on your IT band. Lots of, I'm all about multi-purpose toys. And so this as you can see, has a very pronounced curve, much more than any of the other toys that I have showed you so far. Which is why when we say, oh you're struggling with your G-spot, get a Pure Wand. Part of it is the weight. Part of it is the curve. Part of it are these two different balls. So this deep curve means that you can really apply a lot of pressure and stimulation to that G-spot without again, hurting your wrists, or your arm, or your shoulders are tiring out. And then that's where the weight comes in too. It helps you to get deeper, more of that neck and shoulder amount kind of level of massage and just really get up in there. And you could choose, again, is your G-spot more concentrated? Is it a smaller area? Great, you have a smaller area to stimulate with. If you need a bigger area, great. This bulb will get you, right. This is a nice toy to use for thrusting, for massaging, for tapping. It's gonna give you so many options. I wish you all could feel how heavy this is. I love when I show this at workshops or I run a monthly woman's group in New York here and I always have a lot of product out 'cause we talk about pelvic health. And it's so funny, people go to pick this up and then they're like, wow, that's really, I'm like yeah, it's a 100% stainless steel. It's legit. So this is a great option, again, if you've tried everything and you just, you want something that is gonna help you get there. The other nice thing about the stainless steel, it tends to stay a little cooler than the things around it and absorbs heat kind of more slowly. So it can give you a different type of stimulation. You could also heat it up or cool it down. Put it in a bowl of ice water beforehand and it's gonna just give a totally different type, I'm gonna hang myself here. Type of stimulation and feeling. This is really fun. So again, great option. It's great for beginners of G-spot exploration and it really shines if you're starting to get frustrated or you really wanna spurt or take your G-spot play up to a brand new level. Also kind of expect fun, okay. And it comes in this beautiful box, right. I'm not all about aesthetics but when they're nice you've gotta appreciate it, especially with sex toys after so many years of toys being not so well packaged and whatnot. So a lot of different toys and in terms of people always asking what's the best toy? How do I find the best toy? It's really not what's the best. It's what's the best for you and what you're looking for? Which is why I went through the different options. I kind of highlighted some of their extra features but also who they're good for and what types of problems we can think about them helping us solve, or pleasures they could help you achieve. Because toys are really tools, that's all they are. They're tools to help you experience more pleasure, more orgasms, more ecstasy, more all of that, more intimacy, more connection. Okay, let's get to these questions. We're almost wrapping up so if you have questions it is kind of now or never. So pop them in the chat. So reverse cowgirl seems it would be stimulation towards the back. Okay, so we're gonna get some toys out to demonstrate this how we do, okay. Penetrating partners laying down, their penis or dildo is like this, a cock is like this. This partner,partner goes on top. Do you see how the vulva is tilted down? Which means that this is going along that frontal vaginal wall. If there's a little bit more kind of hip rolling that's happening from the person with the vulva you may get more stimulation towards the back. And I think this is what you're asking, if you meant back as in back of the body then this answers the question. If you meant back as in further up towards the cervix then the nice thing is, the person with the vulva who's receiving can control the depth. So it will really help. Regular cowgirl also can be really nice because again, there's more of that back arch happening and so it can also. Though those are both really good options we know and obviously the other benefit of cowgirl or woman on top, receiver on top, however you wanna call it, is that it often also lets the person receiving get some clitoral stimulation, either with hands or toys, their partners hands or from their partner's pubic bones. So you might be able to stimulate both the G-spot and the clitoris if they're separate things, at the same time. But reverse cowgirl would still give a little bit of that different type of thrusting especially if you're doing some kind of rocking and rolling and hip thrusting. And with doggy style, I didn't think to say this before but just like with cowgirl style and reverse cowgirl, it kind of gives a lot of control to the person being penetrated. With doggy style it can be a little fun to play with power and control a bit here. And what I mean by that is the person being penetrated can say, don't move, let me use you, right, let me use you like one of your toys if that's something you're in to. If that's something you're in to you can kind of play and that gives them more control so the penetrating partner would be still and then the person, the receiving partner would get to move in whatever ways feel the yummiest and the best for them. Okay, so I'm gonna do a recap and answers these questions as I go through because I did talk about them, Necky. Thank you so much for bringing them. So I'm gonna answer them as I do the recap 'cause wow, where did the last 10 minutes go? All right, so Kait here, sex educator, Justin just put all of my links in the chat so if you wanna stay in touch you could find me there. Okay, G-spot does exist. What exactly is it? No one really knows, doesn't really matter because we know there is an area on the frontal vaginal wall that for many but not all people with vulvas, feels really, really fucking good when stimulated. Okay, so Necky, can all people with vulvas get pleasure from it? Not necessarily. It's gonna feel really amazing for some people and less amazing for others. I'm not totally sure if someone who has a sensitive clit is gonna also, if it's not gonna feel as good for them. But people are different, full stop, both in terms of how concentrated, if their G-spot is an X marks the spot or more of a G-zone that's spread out along the frontal vaginal wall. Or if their G-spot is closer to the front of the vagina, right near the opening or further back towards the cervix, okay. In terms of stimulating it you wanna get really turned on, maybe have an orgasm first because that'll help all of the tissue swell and get extra sensitive. Use lube to make it even more sensitive and feel, heighten all those sensations and because it prevents any scratching or tearing. Follow that feeling like you're gonna pee because on the other side of that feeling like you're gonna pee is a lot of release which may include squirting, and I'll get to that in a minute, okay. In terms of how to stimulate it, that come-hither is great, tapping, nice deep massage, about as much pressure as you like on the shoulders is great, thrusting, so on and so forth. In terms of squirting, not everyone is going to squirt and also, it can change throughout their life. You might start squirting. You might decide you want to and so you work towards it but some people can get really excited and experience a lot of pleasure and even orgasm without any squirting. And squirting is not the same as ejaculation for people with vulvas. They're separate things. They come from separate glands, different types of fluids. Squirting also is not pee but it may have a little bit of pee in it, like minimal amounts just like ejaculate from a penis has a little bit of pee in it, just because they're touching similar structures inside the body, right, so just a little bit. If you are worried about squirting or worried about the pee, pee beforehand. When you feel that sensation follow it and actually bear down, which will help you squirt, help you reach that orgasm, help you find that release. And take really deep breaths as well as you're getting closer to orgasm to help relax that pelvic floor, to help get lots of oxygen and just heighten all your sensations, okay. In terms of positions for the G-spot, doggy style with your back arched is great. Spooning also fantastic, especially if the person penetrating you, longer and especially if you need more shallow stimulation, either 'cause they're long or because your G-spot is closer to the front of the vaginal opening. And then both cowgirl and reverse cowgirl can be really fun. You can play with power, control, depth, motion, all of those things in most of the positions, less so in spooning. But definitely in cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and doggy style. And lastly, when it comes to toys you wanna look for a toy that has a curve. If you're just starting out look for one that has a wider tip, if you will, so that you could explore. Use it to experiment with the different types of sensation and stimulation and really find your spot. If you are more advanced you could look for something bigger, girthier, longer, thrusting. Or if you want to really go for gold, the Pure Wand, that stainless steel beauty, I'm gonna call it a beauty, is also a great option. I think that might be the fastest recap I've ever done. So we are about to wrap up but I wanna thank you all again so, so much for joining us. Thank you for bringing your questions here with us tonight. If you do have one or two last ones, definitely pop them in the chat, like really last, last chance is now. Again, my name is Kait. I'm a sex educator and my company is called Passion by Kait. If you enjoyed tonight, if you love O.school and you got something out of this, we definitely so appreciate you showing up. And also, if you could tip just hit that tip jar and half of it goes to O.school to keep running these awesome webinars and half of it supports my work. Again, to stay in touch it's Passion by Kait, K-A-I-T, so nice and easy to find on all of the things. Perks of spelling your name a little bit different. I do live stream monthly on the last day of the month. So I would love to see you back next month. All different topics and I just wanna thank you again all so, so much for joining us tonight for all about the G-spot. You're very welcome, Necky. Thank you for your questions and your contributions and that is a wrap for us. Stick around, we are gonna have more live streams tonight. Thank you all so, so much. It was a pleasure as always and I hope to see you on future live streams or over on my social media, or my social website or anywhere else that you wanna get in touch. Thank you all so, so much.

What You Need To Know About G-Spots

Date
Thu
Jun 28, 2018
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1:00 pm
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Calendar
Thursday, June 28, 2018
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1:00 pm

Do I have one? Where is it? Why can’t my partner find it? Am I supposed to squirt? This AMA on G-spots will help you discover your orgasm diversity and offer tips for exploring your G-spot with toys, fingers and partners.