Intro To Temperature Play

Creating heightened sensory experiences through temperature play can be extremely erotic if done properly. 

In this stream, sex educator Micki Allen gives an intro to temperature play.

Temperature play is when you introduce a bit of heat or cold into your sexual activities. It can be a form of foreplay or the main event, as experiencing various temperatures can help heighten your senses and “get your body in the mood and receptive to your lover’s touch,” says Allen. Wearing a blindfold while playing with temperature can help heighten the sensations.

When experimenting with temperature play, safety is paramount. “We want to be safe, sane, and consensual,” says Allen. For example, don’t ever microwave massage oils. Instead, use massage oil candles made of body-safe materials. Check what temperature it can heat up to, and then light the candle and let it melt into an oil you can pour onto your partner’s body and massage into their skin. If you want to explore BDSM and wax play, make sure the wax object or candle is from a specialty store and/or meant for play. A low burning wax or a massage oil candle, for example, won’t get above body temperature. Also be sure to have a way to quickly extinguish the fire. If you’re going to play with ice, be sure it’s cool to liquid, and not so frozen it can burn or stick to the body.

While there are many toys meant for temperature, you can also use everyday objects. “Sometimes a pizza cutter is just a pizza cutter, or a candle holder is just candle holder,” says Allen. “Until you heat it up or cool it down [and] use it for temperature play on your body.” Temperature play can also be as basic as simply taking a warm bath with your partner, or dripping a cold drink on the body while in a jacuzzi. Allen also suggests cooling or warming water-based lube, which you can then put on toys or your body. 

If you want to get a bit more advanced, you can try toys such as Ben Wa balls. Allen recommends cooling the glass balls and placing them in the vaginal canal to do kegel exercises. You can also use them for a massage and place them on your partner’s body and roll them down the back or stomach. Try alternating between cold toys and heated oil to keep things exciting. You can also try a pleasure wheel or a Wartenberg wheel to roll on the body. These are made of metal, which is good for heat, and have spikes with different intensities.. 

While temperature play may not be for everyone, it can be a great way to enhance your sexual experiences by heightening the senses. You can experiment with objects around the house, or get a bit more advanced with toys. However you choose to incorporate heat or cold into the bedroom, just be sure to do it safely.

Video transcript

If you are just joining again, my name is Micki Allen of Micki Allen Coaching. And I'm a sex and relationship coach, as well as a sex and pleasure educator. And we are going to be discussing how to have cool summer O's in the heat. Hi Micki and Maya thank you for joining. And temperature play involves both fire, as well as ice. It can be hot temperature play, it can be cold temperature play. And it's a little dark I see so let me turn on the light. See if maybe y'all can see a little bit more clearly here. Whew, okay, I see you better now. But, yeah, so temperature play, now temperature play can be on a spectrum. It can be closer to the vanilla side without a high intensity of heat or without a high intensity of cold. And so the best way to begin with temperature play I think is to just sort of experiment and see what it is that pleases you and your partner and what y'all are comfortable with. Now actual fire play is something that is considered edge play. And I don't recommend it for beginners at all. So that is something that you're going to likely see in real edge communities and that's not something that we're going to be covering here tonight. We're going to be talking mostly about the lower intensity temperature play, things that you can do around the house and in the comfort of your own home, without the need to have an ambulance on-call or a fire extinguisher at your disposal. Although you should have that in your home anyway for like kitchen emergencies and things like that. But what we'll be talking about in this webinar is not going to involve play that is that extreme into the kink world. So but what is temperature play, it's exactly what it sounds like. It's either adding a little bit of heat or a little bit of cold to your play. And body changes affect the neurons in your brain. And so when you have different temperature changes especially when you go from a real warm feeling to a very cold feeling that's gonna really heighten the senses and temperature play is great for foreplay because it really gets the body ready and in the mood and receptive to your lover's touch or kiss or tickle or whatever you want, you and your partner have agreed on. But it really does heighten the senses. And another thing that I recommend is that you use a blindfold. A little bit of sensory deprivation, in addition to temperature play can be super, super sexy. Because, of course, the other senses are going to be heightened. And I'm a tactile person personally so I'm very sensitive to touch so it's going to, results may vary as they say, depending on whether or not you are very sensitive to touch or if you're not very sensitive to touch. And so you and your partner can adjust accordingly. So let's talk about just sort of dipping our toe in the water with temperature play first. Something that I recommend for beginners is to use massage oils. And with the massage oil, you can get massage oils at your local toy store, adult toy store. And I like, I recommend rather, the little bottles. And you can usually get, because they have travel sizes that are typically under three ounces. So that if you're going away on a romantic getaway you can have the ones that you can actually put in your luggage or your carryon on the airplane. So you can usually find them three ounces or under. And what I like about these is because they're little you can then take a bowl or well I had a coffee cup. My coffee cup's gone, well that's sweet, they were cleanin' up for me. But you can just put hot or warm water in a coffee cup or a bowl and then just set this in there for a few minutes and the heat from the water will warm this up. And so when you and your lover are ready to play then this has already been gently warmed. And so when you pour it on your lover it's going to be already warm. Now if it's been sitting in hot water for awhile, test it on the inside of your wrist, like you would, for a bottle for a baby, okay? Just to make sure that's not going to actually be harmful. We like a little bit of pain, but don't want to use risky behavior, right? We wanna be safe, sane, and consensual. So being safe means testing your heat before you just start applying it all over your lover's body. But this is a great way because it doesn't take any special instruments. You don't really have to buy anything special. It's if you and your lover already have a massage oil you can just heat it up and get to playing. Another thing though that can be useful is instead of heating it up, when it's really hot outside, if you and your partner say you spent the day at the beach or at the lake or you've been working outside going for a hike or whatever put it in the refrigerator and cool it down. Another good thing is you don't even need a massage oil. But have you ever had like a really bad sunburn and then someone will rub aloe vera gel on you and it's so cold, but it feels so good. Having that juxtaposition between the hot, hot sunburn on your skin and the cool feel of the aloe gel. That's sort of the same principle that we're going for here and that is something that is easy to do. Just put it in your fridge or put it in a warm bowl. Please do not ever place it in a microwave, not safe, not safe. So a step up from using that would by my personal favorite which is using candles, massage oil candles. These are fantastic because for the most part, now you're gonna wanna check the label just to be careful. But if you're getting it from an adult pleasure store it's likely gonna be made of soy and so it will not get above the 98.6 degrees. And they come in all different delicious fragrances. And you just light the candle and as it melts, it turns into an oil and you can pour it on your lover's body and not only is the room smelling good and getting everybody in the mood, but then that nice warm oil is going to be ready to be massaged into the skin. So I really highly recommend that you and your partner try using candles. Now step up from that and if you're starting to get a little bit edgier with the play, you can have, now this is a holder, and you get candles for them. Now this one happens to be glass because this is for temperature play. And glass is a fantastic conductor for heat and cold. And now the best products are going to be heat, excuse me, glass for heat or cold. It's going to be glass, it's going to be metal, or you can use, well metal being like stainless steel. Some aluminums, some toys are actually made from aluminum. And you can also use, there are specialty shops or specialty stores that have actually have natural stones like quartz or obsidian or different kinds of crystals that they actually make into toys, intimate toys. And for the most part, those are nonporous just like the glass and just like a stainless steel. And when they're nonporous, you can actually use silicone on those toys and it's going to keep them slippery for a lot longer time. Now so this here is like a holder and you would use this with a dripping candle. Now a dripping candle is different from a massage oil candle. Because this is not for massage, it is for play, it is definitely for temperature play. And so you can have your lover hold these and it has more to do with bondage or discipline, okay? If you're into BDSM, the discipline. As this comes down they have to still hold it. Now if you get these again, if you're getting these in specialty shops always read the package. But you're gonna have, typically it's going to be a low temperature. Because you want it to be hot and you want the experience of the heat, but you don't want to burn your lover. So but these, but that is what this would be used for. And then also this doubles as a toy, because you can heat this up or cool it down and rub it on your partner's body. And again, like I recommended earlier, blindfold is really a good idea because they don't know where you're going to touch them with the cold toy or the heated toy, then it's more of a surprise and again those sensations are heightened. So, now you're gonna discover that I really like glass. I like glass because again you can use silicone with it, you can warm it, you can put it in the fridge to cool it down. And it's super easy to clean and now some people really, really get nervous around glass. And they're like oh my gosh, I don't know if I can, If I should have glass because glass is breakable. It's not going to be as sturdy as say my silicone toys. And that's fine, I totally understand that. But let me just hopefully assure you, if you are getting these from reputable adult product companies, my favorite for glass dildos is going to be Icicles. And if you go somewhere like adamandeve.com or Babeland. A reputable toy company will have Icicles. They will have these kinds of products. These are made of the same material that grandma's Pyrex baking dishes were made out of. Because they conduct heat and I don't know those are pretty sturdy. I mean, you could drop it in the sink and everything's gonna be fine. This is not like a wine glass, it's a very thick glass, and a very sturdy glass. And so, I mean, I don't recommend that you test it by throwing it on a linoleum floor or tile floor by any stretch of the imagination. But with just regular use and play these can last forever, for a very, very long time. And so again, I really, really like glass. So but this is just like a glass dildo. This can be used for g-spot stimulation. It can also be used for prostate play. And now I always recommend if you never, ever, ever go from anal play to vaginal play with the same toy, okay? So, I mean, without cleaning, but that's gonna kinda ruin the mood. So if you're gonna be exploring with all the doors you wanna make sure you have different toys to be playing with. And I'm a safety girl, so just wanna make sure that we're staying on the safe side here, okay? Now you have something like this as well you can play with. Again, great conductor of heat, put it in hot water, and allow it to sit in that hot water and it will absorb that heat. That's how grandma cooked with Pyrex in the oven and kept the lasagna warm. But this one's just so cute, I love this one, because it has a little heart. Now this one's safe for backdoor play too because it does have the widened base. Because whenever you're going to have backdoor play you always want to make sure that you have something that's bigger than the biggest part of the toy. So that it won't get lost in there. We don't want any emergency room visits on my watch, okay? So you can play with something like that. Another fun toy, again I know, I'm the glass queen. Ben Wa balls, now mine are glass, again I love glass. Because not only is glass nonporous and you can use it with any kind of lube you want, it also makes for very beautiful art. Look how beautiful these are. I got these from Adam and Eve. These are for Kegel exercises. You can use these for Kegel exercises. You can use them to enhance your orgasms, I love it. I love the sound too, they're absolutely beautiful. And you can use these also with temperature play. Something that's really fun, if it's really hot outside and we're assuming this play is going to be taking place during the summer months, even just keeping them in their protective bag and just having them in the house, unless your house is extremely hot, that glass is going to be cool to the touch, just right out of the bag. And so you can take these and you can place them into the vaginal canal to use them for Kegel exercises, they'll cool you down. You can use them while you're doing yoga to keep your mind focused on the base chakra, right? To kind of keep your mind alert and aware when these are down there. And also another thing though is you can, if they're cold or you put them in the refrigerator, you can also use these for massage. So your lover's back, if they're cold, you can roll them on your lover's body. And that cold feeling is really very nice. And now just keep in mind the longer that you roll and use your own heat, again, that glass is a conductor so it's going to end up absorbing the heat from your own body. And so you'll want to put them back in cold water or back in the refrigerator to cool them down. And maybe after a nice little bit of that cold play you could put them back in the fridge and move back to the warm body oil and then go back to the cold. Because going back and forth between those two it can be super, super exciting. And again results may very and it's going to depend on what you and your lover like to do or enjoy playing. Now this one is a little more edgy. If you enjoy, now some people call these pleasure wheels or Wartenberg wheel I think is the original medical term. But these are sensory play, this is an instrument of sensory play and you can roll it on the body. Now it's gonna have different, whoops, it's gonna have different spikes and different ones will have different intensities, okay? And so most of the time, they're gonna be metal. And again metal is awesome for conducting heat and holding onto cold as well. And so if you want to warm it up or chill it up, I guess you would say chill it down. So if you want to warm it up or chill it down you can and again this would add to your sensory play. And you can even, this one I like, this particular one, and don't ask me what brand it is darling because I've had it for awhile and I actually don't remember. But this has a nice broad base and so you can play with this on your lover's body as well if it's heated or again cooled down for those hot summer nights. All right, and so I want to make sure that anybody who is new to temperature play has time for questions. So I'm kind of going to open it up for an AMA if y'all have any questions, just let me know. Couple of safety notes that I wanna go ahead and make sure that I covered today. Never place ice directly on the skin. If you've never seen A Christmas Story where little Ralphie goes and sticks his tongue up against the post that's frozen. And he gets stuck to the post. Yeah, that's real folks, that can really happen. And so if you're playing with ice, make sure that's in a liquid to cool, to take the burn off literally the burn off. You can put it in a cup of water, bowl of water, or even put it in your own mouth to kind of warm it get it to the shape or size that you want it to be to play with and then you can apply it to your partner's body. But you never want to apply it directly from being frozen to skin, not a good idea, not safe. Also, if you are using fire in your play, and your temperature play is going to be warm and inviting that's fine just make sure you have a safe way to dispose or extinguish the fire. That's why I like this, because life is messy. That's the motto here at the Allen home anyway. And so if you get one, keep really close at hand so you can extinguish it quickly if you need to. Also if you're using temperature play or you have fire in conjunction with bondage make sure that your bondage play is going to be safe. Have some safety scissors or hand just in case because you want to be able to get to the flame or the fire as quickly as possible. And I speak from experience knocking over a candle it can be very frightening, so. When you're playing think safe, sane, and consensual. But I just realized I'm speaking in a sense it sounds like I'm talking about BDSM. And again I wanna say that with temperature play, it does not have to be out of the box or out of your comfort zone. It can be just as simple as taking a warm bath. You can take a warm bath with your lover. You can play in the jacuzzi and then if you have a cold drink sitting by the jacuzzi put the ice from your drink or even just the condensation from your cup, let that drip onto your partner's body. I mean you're only limited by your imagination. Because all we're talking about here really is two different extremes hot and cold. Speaking of, so putting the massage oil, or like aloe vera oil or gel, excuse me, or even coconut oil in the refrigerator. Or warming it up in a pan of water, warm water or a cup of warm water or a coffee cup of hot water and using that with your lover can also be fun. So we don't have to have glass or glass or glass to conduct, we can also use metal. Stainless steel is really good. You can also use quartz or crystals things like that. I don't personally have any those. Those are typically, especially if you're gonna get 'em from a reputable company, those typically tend to be really pricey and that would definitely be an investment. So I suggest you use things around the house, just to kind of get a little taste for it and see if you and your partner really enjoy it. And then if you do enjoy it, absolutely make an investment in glass or the stainless or surgical steel and other things like that. I'm sorry, my chair is in a bad place, because my puppy didn't want to move. All right, another way to have temperature play that can be really fun is, and easy, super, super easy without worrying about fire or ice. You can use lubrications, you can use lubes that actually are warming or cooling in sensation. And that is another form of temperature play that doesn't take fire or ice. Now these two happen to be my faves. These are Wicked brand and it's the aqua, which is a water-based lubricant, which is great and safe for almost all toys. And you have chill, aqua chills which of course is cooling and aqua heat, which warms the body wherever you put it. And so, now these are fun for if a gentleman or a person with a penis is using a masturbation sleeve or something. Using a warming lube, sort of gives it a more realistic feel, but it can also be just another sensation of temperature play. And some people with penises that happen to be a little bit more adventurous can actually use lubrication that chills. Now, yes, we do hear about the problem of shrinkage with cold. But again results vary, because some men are very turned on by the chill on their members. So and ladies can like these, enjoy these as well. Women, people with vaginas sometimes like to play with a warming lubrication or a chilling lubrication. Now let me tell you something that I've learned that can be extremely fun. A can have one and person B can have the other. Has anybody out there tried this, I'm just really curious to know, because I decided to do a little experimentation just to see what would happen and it was fantastic. So I'm just curious if anybody else has heard about this. I know there's nothing new under the sun, but I sorta kinda wanna take credit for discovering this could be really fun, I don't know. I'm sure someone out there has already figured this out. But I'm just curious. So now if y'all have heard about it or if y'all have seen anybody recommend it or if you've even tried it. If you've tried warming lubrications or cooling lubrications and what your experience with that was. But I do wanna tell you if you have warmth on say a toy, well I would put chill on ice, I mean on glass. Well I always think it, I like cold, okay? Can you tell, I'm really, really showing y'all my preferences today. But if you put the chill on here and the heat wherever you're going to put it on the body in the backdoor, in the front door, wherever. And those two come together, it is, I really don't even know how to describe the sensation, it's sort of, it's like the heat and the cold. Not that they're like fighting with each other but they just kind of, I don't know, it's just an ebb and flow and ebb and flow. And so I recommend it, hi Eve, I'm so excited thank you for poppin' in and joining us. But, yeah, this is really fun. And it can be very interesting and again results may vary. But I, personally I highly recommend it, it's a great way to play with both the cold and the heat at the very same time. So that's another way to play with temperature. And some people really, when they think of temperature play they think of extreme edge play or fire, wax on the body, and things like that, which can be absolutely fantastic. But if you are gonna play with true wax like I had shown earlier and do wax play make sure that the toys, whoops, make sure that the toys that you're playing with are intended for play, for adult play. 'Cause you just wanna make sure that they're safe for your body and your partner's body. So but this dripping wax can be really fun, And, of course, it can be placed on the nipples on the scrotum, just know what your playing. And okay, Tigerlily, thank you for joining. I really appreciate you being here. And thank you for giving your insights. Tigerlily says "KY sells a cooling/warming lube "and pairs for that purpose. "I've used it before, it's a good intro "to temperature play if you're looking "for something simple." Exactly, that's exactly what I was saying. You don't have to be extreme, you can start with something simple and so mixing the heat and the chill at the same time is fun and it doesn't feel scary. And another thing is that if you have, another good introduction is if you already have Kegel balls or Kegel balls, tomato, tomato. A lot of them come in metal and these happen to be glass. So, but they do come in metal and they come in glass. And if you want to heat them up or cool them down before you place them in the body, it can be, a lot of fun to play that way. And you can also use them for massage as well to rub them on your partner's back or on their legs or on their thighs or just wherever you want to let your imagination run free. But glass is a great way to do that. And you can also use your dildos, they're like art. I'm just fascinated by these and the ridges and stuff. You can actually roll this on your lover's body. You can use them inside the thighs. You can use them on the lower back or the upper back and use them for that sort of a massage. And it hopefully, it would be very therapeutic, it could be very therapeutic, but hopefully it would turn into a sensual massage and that would be even more fun. And another thing is you can use the massage oils that are warm with the glass as well. So that's another great idea. And let's seen, oh Eva that's a great idea, yes. Having your partner suck on a mint before oral provides that cooling sensation, absolutely. And you know, you can do that for kissing. And you can also do something like that for oral play, for cunnilingus or for fellatio and you have that coolness that coolness that you feel here, will also be felt in your pleasure areas and pleasure zones. And that's a really great, that's a great tip. See y'all are awesome, y'all are so smart, thank you. I really appreciate that, I love that, the feedback. And I'm glad to know that you have tried that and the fact that KY sells it, I guess, I guess I guess I won't be able to claim the idea as my own. I thought I had just really gotten onto something here. But we'll do like, day late and a dollar short, as my dad would say. But yeah with temperature play it's a lot of fun. And you can start off very easily with things around the house. And yeah so did y'all know it was National Orgasm Day? It was actually a custom that was started in Brazil. And I'm curious to find out how it came to the United States. I tried to do a little research on it and didn't get very far. But I'm so glad that orgasms have their own day. I think that's fantastic and I hope that you and your loved one or that you and yourself get to celebrate National Orgasm Day and enjoy an O if that is what you would like to enjoy today. And yeah with temperature play, I'm trying to stay on the idea of temperature play. I want to, again safety is so important. Let's never put food anywhere it doesn't belong. One of my favorite, well an old movie that is one of my favorites was 9-1/2 Weeks. And there's a scene where the two lovers are in the kitchen in front of the refrigerator and trying different cold foods. And that's great because it's all orally done. And it makes for a great setting, it's really beautifully cinematically filmed and everything. But it's, you know they use like cherries and whipped cream and fun things like that. And that is, and strawberries. And those are absolutely fantastic and fun to play with orally. We don't want to ever put them in our bodies in any other door than the mouth though. Because those can contain sugars and can do a lot of damage to the vagina and actually throw off your pH and make room for bacterias and yeast infections and things like that. And we don't want to have to go to the doctor and say yeah I was playing with strawberries and now I have a yeast infection. Although if your doctor ever made you feel embarrassed about a visit like that, you need a new doctor, just sayin'. So yes thank you for the tip, from whoever is our little mystery tipper, I really appreciate you. Tigerlily says, "I think if you discovered it independently "you still get to claim the idea, "great minds just think alike." Aww, Tigerlily, you're so sweet. All right, yes, I'm gonna claim it. No, I just fell into it, right? So I didn't really discover it. I was just like hey let's try this, this sounds like fun. And it is indeed fun, so I do recommend it. When I have, now I do work in an adult pleasure products store so if you have any questions about different toys that are good with temperature play or whatever like that, please feel free to go ahead and give me let me know AMA question in the chat box. But when I have people come in that are like well we've tried this, we've tried that and we want something new, but we're really not sure what to do. I a lot of times will ask them what toys they have or what extras that they have. Like they'll have the massage oils or they'll have oral mints or oral candy or things like that. And I will ask them have you ever thought about heating it up or cooling it down? And a lot of times, people are no I haven't even thought of that, I've never thought of that. And, which I don't know why because it can be so much fun. Especially when it's so hot. I will admit, now in the winter when it's colder have you ever been outside and you're freezing and you come inside and you take off your mittens and unwrap your scarf, take off your coat, and it's so cold that for a minute it burns as you start to get warm. I don't know if y'all have ever felt like that before. But it's, it's like, it burns. But it's still like a really good feeling. It's almost like a feeling of relief or release. And that is what temperature play can feel like and can be like. Or I actually had a friend say it's like if you have to go to the bathroom. If you have to urinate and you're holding it and holding it and holding it and then you can finally get to the restroom or you finally find a public restroom or whatever and you expel the urine then at first it almost hurts, but then it's like aah and it feels so good. That is sort of like what temperature play is. Because people ask me why is temperature play exciting? Why does it work? Well those feelings, and I'm not a sciency person, so I couldn't give you like all the real specifics of it but it affects, it's a neural, it's a neurological reaction and it will actually release different chemicals in your body. And so I think, this is not science, this is Micki from experience that when you close off one sense the other senses are heightened. So if you use a blindfold, or even if you use, like if you have a snorer in the house or you know somebody snores you may have earbuds or something. Or if you're a swimmer you can get those little thingies to block the ears for swimming. And if you just cut that out, if you take away your sight and you take away the sound and all you have is skin or taste right, you can, it heightens that and if you don't know where the cold is coming or the heat is going to be applied next, it is so wonderful, it is a great feeling. And I recommend it to everybody, I really do. I think it's San Frantastic and it can take what you're already doing to the next level. And I believe that variety is the spice of life. And so when you start to play with the temperatures that you're dealing with, again hot bath, right? You've taken a hot bath, use a cold towel, right? Or if your partner is taking a cold shower wrap them in a nice big warm bath sheet and move from there. There are endless possibilities of what you and your partner or partners are enjoying together when it comes to skin. If you can feel those sensations, it's just, I don't even know how to explain it. But it is, it can be overwhelming. Now keep that in mind to always have a safe word. So that if your lover tends to get over, starts to get overwhelmed or is any way triggered by the cold or the heat, that they have that opportunity to let you know so that it's all consensual and safe. Let me think I wanna make sure I've covered everything. So we want to keep in mind that it can be something simple like from moving from cold, from like a jacuzzi into a colder room or taking a warm bath with your lover but then having maybe a glass of chilled white wine to play with on the skin. And you can use, you can cool down, if you use the smaller versions of the massage oils you can put them in a coffee cup with hot water or a cup or a bowl and warm those up. You can put them in the refrigerator to get them cooled down to apply them to your partner's body. And you can also use lubes, chilled lubes, warming, chilling lubes, say that three times quickly. Chilled, chilling lubricants or warming lubricants or you can be super, super radically fun and mix the two and see what happens for you and your lover. And you can also use candles, you can use dripping candles or melting candles for wax on the body for wax play. And those tend to be, if you get 'em again from a reputable source, it's typically a low burning wax. But you wanna make sure that you're playing safe or playing safely. And then my personal favorite are the massage oil candles because these are made out of soy and they don't get above body temperature so there's not gonna be any true jolt to your system or shot to your system if that's not something that you're into. And you can always use the lid to cover the flame. And this is Kama Sutra, I just, I love them, because you can get them with the spout already on there. And the spout makes it easy to pour. And so they come in several different delicious aromas and almond is my favorite, just so you know, oh my god. So this is sweet almond and then we have, now this is an edible massage oil. And so that's, I didn't even think about talking about that. Yes, you can use edible oils, massage oils too. And edible lubrications or kissable lubrications. I mean, you don't really want to sit there and drink it obviously, but you can use these on the body and if you've cooled them down and put them on your lover's erogenous zones and then with the warmth of your mouth kiss it or lick it off and that is a form, can be a form of temperature play. Because you're playing with the hot and the cold of your breath. And that's another good thing with ice. If you're going to put ice in your mouth and then orally please your partner then as your mouth warms up they're going to feel the juxtaposition as it moves rather fluidly from the cold to the warmth and that can really stimulate their erogenous zones. And then, of course, we have glass beads or glass dildos or steel, surgical steel, which is awesome for cold play. And when you're obviously, temperature play if a form of sensory play and those all fall under the umbrella of the whole BDSM, which is bondage, discipline, sadomasochism or sadism and masochism. And so sometimes you'll see these overlapping with each other with the temperature play. And so I don't want to frighten off any beginners. And so again you can play as gently or as vanilla-ish as you like. But if you do enjoy the stronger temperature or the stronger discipline or the stronger edges of the play you can always amp it up. You just wanna make sure that your partner consents and that you are both comfortable and safe, okay? So Wartenberg wheels I love and if your body is hot or if you've had a warm massage or you're getting out of a warm bath and they're cold and to feel that on your skin is amazing. Oh and if you have littles in the house, it's a pizza cutter, it's a mini pizza cutter. 'Cause, yeah, trust me, yeah, that's from experience. But yeah I love, again because I have seven kids, so I really like toys that double as, that are discreet, you know. So a candle is just a candle, right? They say sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Well sometimes a candle is just a candle. Sometimes a pizza cutter is just a pizza cutter or a candle holder is just candle holder. Until you heat it up or cool it down or play, use it for the temperature play on your body. So yeah discretion is key sometimes if there are mom's and dad's out there or people who have little ones in the house. It's nice to have toys that you can use that are discreet. Okay, Mimi, which name brand of the of what? I don't remember where I got the Wartenberg wheel. This is my very favorite massage oil, candle massage oil. This is Kama Sutra, K-A-M-A S-U-T-R-A. This is their Ignite Series. And I just love this one because it's almond, almond's my favorite. Everything I have is either amaretto or almond or almond cherry 'cause I don't know why. I just, you can imagine I love Jergens lotion. But, O-M-G it smells so good. And I like sensory play, right? So I have to, so it smells, I want bells and I want whistles, and I want all of my tactile. I like all of my senses engaged, even when they're being deprived, you know? So that can be really super sexy, super super sexy. But the brand name, okay so for the lubes, I like Wicked or System JO. So, hi, Miss Chief O, awesome so glad you're here. But Mimi, the lube is Wicked and so I like Wicked and I also like System JO or JO. And Kama Sutra, now I will say this, this is something I haven't mentioned Kama Sutra also has body oils that are kissable and when you blow on them and you don't even have to go to the hot blow you can just whew cool blow on them and they heat up. And they smell delicious and they taste good and they're a little bit tingly too. So those are the Kama Sutra body oils. I don't have any of them in here with me in the office. Might have some in the toy box, but not in here. But that's really good, I like Kama Sutra. I don't work for Kama Sutra, this is not a paid endorsement. But I do like Kama Sutra a lot. And so yeah, oh Icicles if you're asking about brand names with my glassware, almost exclusively from Icicles because my very first glass toy was from them and I swear I had it maybe 15 years. Because glass is nonporous and it's super easy to clean. You can boil it to sterilize it, yeah I'm a glass girl. Now I know some people don't love promoting glass and I appreciate that. I know Q doesn't love glass because it can get chipped. Now if it, now I'll tell you this, if this ever chips, if you have glass and it chips, toss it. Toss that sucker right into the trash, 'cause it's not worth playing with your health and safety, okay? But if you enjoy glass or if like myself I recommend you take care of it. Have a special designated place for it to keep it safe. And some toys actually will come with safety sleeves so that you can put them in there to store them. So that's even better, yay. I wish I had one of these for every single toy I have. But, okay, edible massage oil my love, I am so sorry. Edible massage oil, this one is edible massage oil. I swear to the great gods of oils, it says, the brand says edible massage oil. Let this old lady take off her glasses and see who it's by. It's by Earthly Body, Earthly Body edible massage oil. And I honestly, I've never used their strawberry or their vanilla, they have strawberry, vanilla. I like the watermelon, but I will say, I already mentioned this earlier, System JO or JO lubes their watermelon tastes just like a watermelon Jolly Rancher and that is my all-time favorite as far as flavored lubes go. Totally, totally digging the watermelon JO because it is like having a watermelon Jolly Rancher in your mouth for oral pleasure. It is so yummy and so good. But I do like watermelon, so. I'm from the south, we love watermelon. And so that's a really, that's a good one. I like these, just because they're small and you can travel with them but you can also, they're easy to put in a coffee cup of hot water to warm up. And then with the chill that's Wicked, that's Wicked. Oh the Kegel balls or the Ben Wa balls whatever you wanna call 'em, these are Adam and Eve, the glass Kegel balls. Warm 'em up, cool 'em down before insertion. Lots of fun there and also great for yoga or meditation. Because it keeps you focused on this area for your root chakra or your, I forget. I know it's the, oh this is not a yoga class. One of you who knows, remembers all, I just know the heart chakra 'cause it's my favorite. You have the heart chakra, throat, third eye, crown, right root, so anyway this isn't a yoga instruction. This is about temperature play. So we've covered safety, we've covered hot, we've covered cold, and yeah. Different toys that you can play with and again this is all under the big umbrella of BDSM, but it doesn't have to sound scary at all. Because again, it can be so simple and easy and everybody's doing it, you know you wanna, right? You know you wanna try. But it is, it's a lot of fun and so you and your partner or partners or you and yourself try something new to cool down during these warm summer months and just play safely and wisely. Always have consent and I appreciate you coming out. I'm not sure, yes I am sure, my next O School live stream is going to be next Monday and we're going to be talking about redefining sex. Which is the extreme opposite of talking about orgasm, right? Or orgasm day, but we're gonna talk a little bit about how sex encompasses more than just orgasm. So I hope that you'll be able to join me. Thank you to all of y'all, I know your time is valuable. So thank you for spending the last hour with me. I really appreciate you and look forward to seeing you guys next week, take care and be blessed.

Intro To Temperature Play

Date
Tue
Jul 31, 2018
|
2:00 pm
|
Calendar
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
|
2:00 pm

Join Micki for some Hot Tips for Cool Orgasms and other ways to chill with your lover using temperature play!