Get More Out Of Jerking Off

There’s a reason most of us jerk off often — ‘cuz it feels damn good. But there are tips and tricks to make masturbation even better

In this stream, Dr. Yoni Alkan discusses penis masturbation, and how to give yourself more pleasure in ways you may not have tried yet. 

First, let’s be clear — masturbation is healthy and normal as it serves your emotional well-being. It doesn’t give you hairy palms, as some popular myths would have us believe. On the contrary, masturation is the best and safest way to explore what you like and what turns you on, which can help you communicate better with a future partner

But how can we jerk off better? Dr. Alkan says there are certain things to avoid, like water-based lube and overstimulation — both of which can cause chafing. Switch things up when you masturbate: try masturbating with lube, with a condom on, masturbate while watching porn, use your imagination, etc. Having variency and novelty helps make sure you don’t get used to one thing. You can break your routine by intermittently introducing something new every now and again. For example, you might get aroused with gripping your penis very tight (known as the death grip), but then you can slowly lower the amount of pressure, and try a different type of stimulation. 

You can also try different techniques. One trick is to use lube to minimize friction. Saliva works, but a silicone-based lube can be more long-lasting. You can also try hand cream, lotion, or soap (but watch out for your urethra), or an organic oil like coconut oil. Be sure not to use oils with condoms, however, as it degrades the latex material. After applying lube, grab the shaft of the penis and move your hand against the hard part of the inside of the penis so you aren’t dragging the skin. Move your hand in tiny motions against the penis itself and give attention to the frenulum — the most sensitive part of the penis where the shaft meets the head. 

If you want to experiment with toys, there are plenty of options. You can try a masturbation sleeve — anything that goes over the penis, like a Fleshlight or toys by Tenga or BLEWIT! A sleeve can have different suction adjustments and surfaces on the inside to give you different kinds of sensations. You can also try a cock ring, either one for the cock and balls, or one for the base of the shaft. This is meant to help you get harder and stay hard as it keeps the blood flow in the shaft. You can also try a toy for prostate masturbation, like a butt plug or dildo

Stimulating the prostate through the anus is the best way to reach it directly, but you can also stimulate the prostate externally by feeling around the anus and applying pressure to the perineum, aka the taint or area between the balls and asshole. People describe prostate orgasms being much more full-bodied, unlike a penis orgasm which are more pointed. That’s why the prostate is known as the male G-spot. 

It can take a bit of experimentation to learn how to maximize your pleasure while jerking off. If you’re open to new techniques, or even a few sex toys, you might just find something that really works for you you otherwise wouldn’t have tried.

Video transcript

I think it's time for us to start. So let me tell you who I am, and what we're gonna do here today. So first of all, thank you for joining and hello, I am Dr. Yoni Alkan. I'm a sexual educator and a sexual consultant here in San Francisco. I am also a professional cuddler, I do one-on-one cuddling with cuddlist.com, and I do cuddle parties here in San Francisco and globally with cuddleparty.com. I am also the coauthor of The Book of Cuddles. You can go to TheBookOfCuddles.com, it's gonna come out at the end of the month, I am so excited. We're gonna launch it at the Cuddle Expo, which is the first ever cuddling convention, I'm really excited. However, cuddling is a nonsexual act, so we are not going to talk about cuddling today, because we are going to talk about masturbation. Not just masturbation, specifically penis masturbation. So I'm gonna be talking about what it is that you can do in order to pleasure your own penis, or how other people might pleasure their penises. And, a lot of this information is anecdotal. This might not be scientific information, because there is not a lot of scientific information about penis masturbation. And these are things that I've learned throughout my life or talked with other people and heard about it from other people, and they shared their experiences with me. So that is one thing that I want you to know before we start. The other thing is that I would love for you to share your stories. I wanna hear what you have to say and if you have any experiences about masturbating penises, things you've heard about, kind of myths that you were wondering about, no, you do not go blind, and no, you don't get hairy palms. The last thing I wanna talk about before we really start in is that the idea of talking about penis masturbation is taboo. We don't talk about it in our culture. Not only that, toxic masculinity doesn't really allow us to talk about these things. Even amongst men, very, very rarely do you find groups of men or people with penises that actually talk about how they masturbate, what gives them pleasure, how do they manage the mess afterwards, what do they do, oh my God, that thing that happened to be me once, you should watch out. No, we don't have those conversations, and that really saddens me. I think our culture would be way healthier if we would be able to talk about those things, and I'm really looking forward to talking with you about it today. So, first of all, in order to bust any myths, generally every, for most humans, for everyday life, masturbation is a good thing. It is good to masturbate. It's good for our bodies, it's good for our wellbeings, emotional wellbeing, it has health benefits. It not only gets the system working, and if you are not sexually active with other people for a long while, you can still have sexual experiences by yourself. And it's really good for you to keep the system going, and know that your system is working. If you're reaching older age, again, if you don't use it, you lose it. So you want to practice and you want to get your system to get used to having sexual experiences and you don't need another person in order to have that. Masturbation is sex, it's just sex with yourself. And that is great. It has different benefits, and it has drawbacks, and it's different, and every person does it differently, but it is sex still altogether. So, sex is good, we want to practice having sex, we want to enjoy sex, and one of the things that masturbation allows us is also to explore ourselves and kind of figure out what's good for us. How can I tell someone else what feels good for me and my body if I don't know myself? And this does not matter what gender you are, and what body you have, what sex you are, it doesn't matter, still, how can you tell someone else what you like about your body if you don't know yourself? So it is important for us to kind of figure that out and see what feels good to us in order for us to share it with other people. The other benefit for masturbation is also practicing, practicing our bodies, practicing what makes us feel good, practicing how I feel at certain times. If someone feels that they ejaculate too rapidly, this is something that they can practice. If they feel that they have a hard time keeping an erection with a condom on, this is something they can practice by themselves. And you can practice things by masturbating and figuring out what feels good to you, and how your body reacts. How does it feel when I'm about to orgasm? Hmm, that's a good thing to know. How long do I have before I feel that feeling and I actually ejaculate? That's another good thing to find out. So you want to learn more about yourself and you do that by practicing. Are there dangers in masturbation? So, hmm, there is talk on various sexual educators and sexual health about sex addiction, or porn addiction, or masturbation addiction. And it's a complex subject, and each person has their own opinion, some people say there is no such thing, and some people say that it is definitely a thing and it happens. It really depends. The only time that I would say that masturbation is addicting or that you have any sort of dependency upon it is if it affects your everyday life. If you decide to stay home from seeing your friends in order to masturbate, if you can't go to school because you have to masturbate, if you see what I mean. If you can't do your everyday life because you feel that you have to have that sexual gratification, be it masturbation, or with someone else, or watching pornography, it doesn't really matter, as long as that doesn't happen, I don't really feel that that is dependency or addiction. So let's put that aside. If that is what is happening to you, yes, you should talk with a professional and see how they can help you with that, and there are a few professionals that can help you with that. But let's put that aside, that's addiction or dependency. Are there other dangers in masturbation? Yeah, definitely. You can hurt yourself, just like you can hurt yourself doing anything. And specifically about masturbating penises, you want to watch out not to overstimulate or to chafe. So I will explain a little bit of both. I'll start with chafing, because that's something that I'll repeat a few times. You want to watch out not to chafe yourself. Skin is sensitive, especially the skin on a penis, it is a sensitive area. And you want to make sure that it's well lubricated. You wanna make sure that you don't rub it too much. See, even just rubbing my two hands together I feel how they're getting warm. Same goes with a penis. If you rub it too much against something that's coarse then you might hurt yourself, you don't want to do that. You might hurt your skin. You might actually cause trauma to the skin, you might injure yourself, and that happens. One of the ways that that happens without even noticing is if people try to use water as lubricant, because they think, oh, water is pretty smooth and it feels nice, but no, water is bad lubrication. And we will talk about that a little later when we will talk about lubrication. But you want to watch out not to overchafe yourself. The second thing that I mentioned is overstimulation, or maybe I should say not overstimulation, but getting used to a specific kind of stimulation. So, for instance, Dan Savage talks about the death grip. The death grip is basically when you grab the penis really, really tight. When you grab it tightly, it actually might feel good, but if you masturbate every time by grabbing it really tightly, you are getting your body used to, you are practicing your body, you're getting your body used to a certain type of stimulation. And it will gradually get used to that kind of stimulation, and because it is a pretty strong stimulation, it gets used to it and it waits for that kind of stimulation in order to achieve pleasure. Now, no matter how well you work your Kegels, you will never achieve that kind of, hah, strong, tight power that you have with your hand, and there is no other orifice in the human body that can achieve that kind of pressure. And that means that you might not enjoy having sexual activity with other people unless they give you the death grip, right, because you got used to a certain type of stimulus. So you want to bring variety into the way that you masturbate. You might want to masturbate one time just with your hand. You might want to masturbate with a piece of cloth. You might want to masturbate with a condom. You might want to use lubricant. You might want to watch porn. You might want to use your imagination. You have all sorts of different variables that you should change the way that you masturbate each and every time. You wanna see pictures, you wanna think about different people, really different stimulus, different stimuli in order to find out what's good for you, but also have variancy, and so you won't get used to one thing. And the last thing I want you to look out for is watch out for your urethra. The urethra is the little opening at the end of the penis, that's where your pee comes out of, and it is a sensitive area, and you should watch out whatever goes in there. Usually certain types of lubricants are okay, but others might not be, so please pay attention to that and we will come back to that again once we talk about lubricants. So thank you so much for joining the stream. I would love for you to share whatever you have to share if you have stories about how people masturbate their penises, that would be great, I'd love to share them with everyone. And if you have questions, the same here. And I see that Michel Rene just asked a question, or wrote something, let's read it, let's see what they have to say. Let's say that you have had a habit of one type of stimulation, is there a way to reset? How long do you think it would take to reset your body or penis memory? This is affecting other types of sexual activities. So thank Michel, yes. So first of all, I don't know, each person is different. Your mileage may vary. And each person needs a different amount of time, and it also depends on how long you've been used to that stimulation. And specifically, we're talking about penises, but it doesn't matter your genitals. If you have a vulva, you might get used to a certain type of vibration if you really, really love your magic wand, some sort of girth of penetration, again, it doesn't really matter, each person likes something else, but it can also happen to people with vulvas and vaginas. So you're asking how long would it take to reset. I cannot say, it is a process. And if you wanna take it one step at a time, I'd recommend starting off with something else and seeing if you can get aroused by it, and if not, intermitting between the behavior that you're used to to new behaviors. So let's talk about the death grip, you want to have a certain stimulation, maybe get a little bit of death grip, get yourself aroused, and then try again a different type of stimulation, go back to the death grip, and slowly lower the amount of that kind of stimulation, specifically death grip in this example, and trying out different things. Let's see if you have any questions. No, I think I kind of answered, let me know if I missed something. Thank you, thank you Michel for that question. So, next thing. I want to talk really, really quickly about pornography, because porn is a big thing, and it's a big thing in our culture, and it's a huge discussion just like I mentioned about addiction. There's a huge discussion, and some people say that you can get addicted to porn, some people say that it's a dependency. A lot of people, a lot of voices say that pornography is evil, or bad, or harmful. I disagree with that, but I can totally see where you're coming from, and I think porn can be very harmful, to the viewers, I'm not talking about the production itself, I'm talking to the consumers of porn. It can be very harmful, definitely, but it doesn't have to be. Pornography, I like to say that pornography is like a tool. And just like any other tool it really depends on how you use it. And you have to be educated about how to use that tool. So for instance, if you don't know anything about pornography, and you use it as your sexual education, I don't think that's a good idea. Pornography will give you different ideas of what sex is, it's kinda like learning about how to be a soldier by watching war movies. No, that's not really the way you learn. It can give you some ideas, but it is not reality, it's Hollywood, right, it's movie magic. It has editing, it has actors that are athletes in sex. They know what they're doing, they're practicing so much. They are not us, specifically, because we have different abilities, we have different experiences. So if you come to pornography from an educated point of view, you can really enjoy it and learn from it a lot, and it doesn't have to be in a negative way. You just have to know how to step into it. One of the ways is to educate yourself and know how pornography production works, and know the tools that they have, and what kind of manipulations they do on the viewers in order for them to be more successful and know the difference between the real world and what pornography displays as sex, and know that it is very different. Now, the other thing that pornography can really help us out is explore our sexuality. We can learn a lot about what we like or dislike just by watching pornography. We can learn what feels good for us, at least to watch, there might be things that we would like to see but we would not want to experience, that's absolutely okay, but it's great for us to learn that that is something that interests us, at least in the viewing and listening. It's great for us to learn more about our sexuality and explore it a little further in a safe way, in the safety of your home. And it's also empowering to know that if you enjoy something, there are a lot of people who enjoy it. If you really like to see people having sex with, I don't know, red caps on their head, I don't know, I just invented something new, you will look online, and rule 34 of the internet, and you will find someone else who really likes to see people wearing red caps and having sex. I don't know, I'm just throwing things out there. Yes, it also helps to know that you're not alone. So pornography has its upsides, as well, for the consumer, and it can help you out also with your masturbation, but also with learning who you are and what you like sexually. Let's see. Great, so let's talk about specific techniques about how to masturbate, and what to think about when you want to masturbate a penis, and I'll also give you some tips and tricks. Now in order to do that, I will bring some sex toys and dildos in front of the camera, so if you do not like that, you can look away or just listen, or I'm sorry if this is not for you, it's alright, I can understand. But I'm gonna bring sex toys into the camera right now. I have a dildo that can demonstrate what an erect penis looks like. This is a rather large penis, but it is still, it can help us demonstrate what a penis looks like when it's erect and what you can do and how you can bring pleasure to penises. So one of the things that you can do, a lot of people think, oh, how do you masturbate? Right, that kind of motion. Now if I do that motion to the penis, you notice that my hand doesn't really slip over the shaft of the penis, because there is a lot of friction. Now specifically, I'm using a sex toy, this is not skin, but still, there will be a lot of friction against the skin, as well. So you would want to either lubricate or not have that friction, you not move your hand. And you can do that, you can masturbate a penis without moving your hand across the skin. How do you do that? So you grab the shaft of the penis and you move your hand without having any friction. So you don't wanna have friction against the skin, you do want to move your hand up and down against the hard part of the inside of the penis, that's what makes it hard. It fills up with blood and it gets hard. Now, the skin, just like you can take the back of your hand and move the skin on the back of your hand, right, you don't have to go like this, you can move it against your hand, same goes for the penis. You can grab and actually move your hand in tiny motions against the penis itself and not cause friction. And that is really helpful, and that's a great way if you don't have lubricant, but you still want to feel pleasure or give someone else pleasure, that's a great way. Now, let's talk about lubrication, because there are many different types of lubricants that you can use for yourself, for other people, and you have to kind of know what each one does to your body or to other things. So first of all, the most common lubricant that most people know of is spit, saliva. Yes, just put some saliva on your hand or on the penis and you can use that as a lubricant. The only problem is that saliva dissolves really quickly, and you have to reapply more and more saliva as you continue your activity. But otherwise, you know, it's your body, if it is your body, then it's relatively safe. Yes, you do have to watch out for STIs if it is another person's body, but yes, relatively saliva is pretty safe. Next idea is to use cream. If you have hand cream, or any lotion that you have, that can also work. Again, this is your skin, this is a different type of skin, you want to watch out, and you want to watch out for your urethra. You can use oil, whether it's olive oil, or coconut oil, or any other organic oil, that could really work out for you. And oil is great because you can, oil is edible, so you can definitely use that in play with other people. And oil is great because it's relatively available and it's not very expensive. However, you have to watch out with condoms, latex condoms, if you are using oil, do not use condoms because they will degrade. Clean up, make sure you're absolutely clean and there's no more oil, and then you can use a condom. Just watch out, do not mix latex condoms with oil, it will degrade the ability of the condom to keep you safe. A lot of people talk about masturbating in the shower and using soap, soap can be great, it's really smooth. This time I have to point out really watch out for the urethra. You do not want to get soap in your urethra. So as I've mentioned, at the edge of the penis there is an opening where the urine comes out, where you pee, and getting soap in there is really painful, it feels kinda like a UTI, and you don't want that, that feels horrible. So please watch out and keep soap away from that. Now, masturbating in the shower or in the bath might feel great, but it's difficult to do that because water is a bad lubricant. It is not very smooth. Even though you think, oh water, you will slip, nuh uh, it doesn't feel good on the body after a little bit. And you can totally feel the difference if you're in the shower and you're touching yourself, feel how it feels, and then put a little bit of saliva on your hand instead, and feel how it feels, and you will see the difference, you will note the difference. Not only that, you will feel if you are having water over your body, you will see how quickly that water washes it away. So in order for that not to happen, I recommend using a silicone-based lubricant. There are so many different types of lubricants, of lubes, there are basically the main two types are water-based and silicone-based. Water-based are very common and I will talk about them in just one second, but I wanna start off with silicone-based lube, because we were talking about the shower. Silicone-based lube is sticky, and it stays on your body more, and it's harder to clean off, therefore it stays on for longer. And you don't need a lot of it, and it already makes everything feel slick and slippery. So if you are having any sexual activity in water-based areas, silicone lube is a great idea. The only thing to watch out for silicone lube is do not mix it with silicone toys. This is another debate, some people say it's okay, I just want to keep you safe, so don't use silicone-based lube with your silicone toys, aside. So silicone-based lube can really help you out when you're in watery area. So what's wrong with using water-based lube? If you are in a wet, watery area like a shower, using water-based lube will wash out immediately. That's the idea, it's water based, that means it cleans off really quickly. Water-based lube is very easy to use because it is water-based and not silicone-based. So it washes out easily, doesn't leave marks usually, and it's really easy to use in various areas. However, that also means that you need to reapply it again and again more so than silicone-based lube, it stays more. Alright, so that's a quick aside about different lubricants that you can use. I want to encourage you, please, if you have any stories about different types of lubes that you've used and they were great, or horrible, or any shower horror stories, please share in the chat and I almost reached for my water bottle instead of my water bottle. Alright, so we've talked about all sorts of ways that you can cover up, sorry, that you can masturbate your penis with different types of lubricants. However, you don't have to. You can also use, you can makeshift a condom that will wrap the penis in order for it to catch the ejaculate once you are done. If you orgasm and ejaculate, then you have something that you need to clean up or take care of, you don't want your ejaculate everywhere, you want to take care of it. So there are a few tips and tricks of what to do. You can use a shirt, like if you want to take a shirt out of your laundry hamper and use it, I'm gonna use a towel just to demonstrate. You can totally take a shirt and wrap, and this is too small, wrap your penis. Make sure that the opening has enough layers that the ejaculate will catch everything, and you can masturbate like that. But, you have to watch out. You can't masturbate like that and move it along your penis, because it will chafe you. It is not very smooth, because it is cloth. However, like we said, the technique of just grabbing and moving it slightly on your body is an option. So that's great, you ejaculate into the used tshirt, some people like to use socks, or a towel, or whatever feels good to you. And then you just throw it into the hamper, please make sure that you do your own laundry, don't let other people do your laundry with your semen on it, it is impolite. The other option that you have is using tissues in order to make a makeshift condom on your penis. So I'm gonna show this example, as well, I'm gonna take some tissues, I'm gonna take the first one, and I'm going to, alright, I'm gonna put the penis here in my armpit. Take the first tissue and fold it in half, I'm gonna fold it in half again, and maybe even another time, and that will be for the end of the penis to catch the ejaculate. Another tissue I'm just gonna fold in half. And then, I am, let's see, I am going to put the first part on the tip of the penis and the second part I am going to wrap this around. Let's see if you can see what I'm doing, I am wrapping this around the penis, around the head of the penis. And now I can take another piece of tissue and also, again, fold it in half, put it on top, and then I have another piece of tissue that I can fold around, and basically I created a little cap of tissue paper that can catch the ejaculate once you're done. And this is really helpful if you don't want to take care of the mess afterwards, you finish up, you can just once you finish and ejaculate into the tissues, you can just grab it and, hoo hoo, make sure that you don't have any leftover tissues on your penis, but basically you can have a little ball of tissues with semen inside of it and discard of it. And that is easier to discard than a condom. Oh my god, hold on, did I say condom? Yes, a lot of people don't think about it, and it's so useful. Having a condom to masturbate with is so useful. It's really so easy. So the thing is a lot of people think, oh, a condom is only in order for you to have penetrative sex. Nuh uh, if you are playing with someone else, and you don't wanna get dirty, put a condom on your penis. If you ejaculate, you ejaculate into the condom, and then you can take care of yourself and not change your pants. So definitely you can try that out, and you can also masturbate into condoms. That gives another level of sensation because, again, latex, lubricated, against the shaft, it's something that's easy to masturbate with, and it makes it easier to pleasure yourself. Not only that, you get used to the sensation of having a condom on your erect penis, and how that feels. And if you've been having a hard time having penetrative sex with a condom, that's another tool for you to practice that sensation. So I highly recommend using a condom. Yes, it might be a little bit more expensive, but there are plenty of places that distribute condoms, even lower-grade condoms, or expired condoms, it doesn't really matter. As long as they're intact, you can use expired condoms as well, because you don't need the barrier effect against other people, you are just using it to have that sensation and to catch the ejaculate when you're done. Things to watch out for, again, make sure that the condom is lubricated enough, if it isn't, you can put a little bit of lubricant on the tip before you put the condom on so you will be well lubricated inside the condom. Yes, thank you Maya for sharing the community guidelines. Yes, please ask me questions, share stories in the chat, I would love to hear from you. So the next thing that I wanna talk about is toys, ain't that fun? There are so many sex toys that you can use and there are so many sex toys that you can incorporate into your pleasure that can really help you out. And there are so many companies, there are different companies that manufacture different toys, and I'm gonna basically talk about three different types of toys here today The first one is the masturbation sleeve. So masturbation sleeve is basically anything that goes over the penis in order for you to feel sensation while you're masturbating. There are so many companies that manufacture different types of sleeves. The most famous one is Fleshlight. You can find there are masturbation sleeves from Tanga, as well, I'm gonna display today a company called BLEWIT! And it is a different, first of all, isn't that pretty, that's a really lovely design, I really like it. But the idea is that you have a sleeve that can go over your penis, and the penis can go here inside. What you want to do is lubricate the sleeve, and once you do, this won't work because it is not lubricated, you can insert the penis into the sleeve, and inside the sleeve, you probably cannot see this, but inside the sleeve there are bumps and different shapes and ways that it can feel against our penis. And different toys have different tricks, and there are all sorts of different ideas. One of them is using a vacuum. So for instance, there's a little opening here so once you insert the penis, you can close it and then it builds vacuum against a penis, and it kinda makes the feeling kind of like oral sex but not really, it just builds the vacuum and builds the suction against the penis. And it can feel really, really good. In general, if you've never experienced a masturbation sleeve, I highly recommend it. It just feels really different than other types of sensations. The problem with masturbation sleeves usually is cleanup. There are certain types of sleeves that clean up in various ways, and it's a lot of times, you know, you've just orgasmed, you don't wanna do anything, just like I mentioned with a makeshift condom out of paper, you just wanna toss it out, and that's it, you're done. But no, in this case, you have to take care of the masturbation sleeve, so you could use it again, maybe. There are also single-use sleeves. But in general, when you want to reuse your sleeve, and usually you do, because some of them are more expensive than others, you have to take it and clean it up, because you want to stay healthy and you want to keep it clean. And that might be a hassle. One small tip, some companies, if you do purchase a masturbation sleeve, some companies say wash it with warm water, don't, wash it with cold water. The reason is semen is protein as most people know, and just like your eggs, when protein gets hot, it congeals, so sometimes people say wash it out with warm water, and you find out that the semen congeals and it gets harder to clean up. So use cold water, don't use hot water. Alright, so that's masturbation sleeves, that's one toy that I wanted to talk about. The next toy that I wanted to talk about is cock rings. These are two different types of cock rings. These are two different variations on the same type of cock ring, which is for the whole cock and balls basically, for the whole member. And I want to show how you put a cock ring on. You can see that this is, one of them is made out of metal, and the other is made out of plastic, of rubber, silicone most likely if I feel correctly. Usually you would want to start with something more flexible so you can see what feels good to you, and if something is too much or too little you can adjust accordingly. And then if you feel brave enough, you can move into something harder, this is out of metal, there are all sorts of types. And basically the cock rings are, there are two types of cock rings. This is for the whole shaft and balls, and I will show you in a minute how you put on a cock ring. But there is another type of cock ring that is just for the shaft. That goes onto the base of the shaft, and that's it. It's usually smaller than this, you can see that there is a lot of extra. So it's gonna be a little bit smaller in order to fit just on the shaft. Why use a cock ring, what does it do? So a cock ring, first of all, changes the sensation. When you use a cock ring, the sensation feels different. I can't explain why, it just does. The second thing it does is it makes your penis harder and lasts longer. You can feel that in penetration, some people say that they feel the difference if there is a cock ring or not. But it also, once you achieve erection, it holds the blood in the penis itself for longer. And I'll explain what I mean by that. The way a penis becomes erect is that once you start to get aroused, blood flows into the penis into special areas in the penis itself that make it hard. And once that blood comes in, obviously, blood flows back and forth. At times, when there is more blood flowing out than flowing in, you lose erection, and that's absolutely fine. I see that some people are having problems with video, Maya if you could take a look at that, please. So yes, blood comes into the penis and out of the penis. So the next thing that you want to do is maybe, how do you keep the blood in the shaft and not going out. So one of the ways is to have that cork ring. And the cock ring basically stops the blood from flowing out, keeps more blood flowing in than flowing out. Thank you so much everyone for taking care of one another, and I hope, hey hey, I hope that you can see everything and catch everything. Alright, so how do you put a cock ring on? I have a packer, what is a packer? A packer is something that people use in order to have something in their pants that will resemble the shape and size of a penis. And this is a great example, a great tool for me to use because you want to put a cock ring on a penis that is not erect. That's right, you wanna put a cork ring when the penis is flaccid, it will be easier and I'll show you how right now. So you take the cock ring and you start with the testicles. Again, I'm talking about a cock ring that goes over the whole shaft and balls. So you start with the scrotum. You put the cock ring on the testicle, and you pinch the scrotum, the scrotum, not the testicle, you pinch the scrotum through the cock ring. Next thing is you want to put the testicle through the cork ring. Once one testicle is in, you can pull the rest of the scrotum and push the other testicle through the cock ring. Now you have a cock ring on your testicles. It doesn't do much, but at least you have it on the testicles. So the next thing you want to do is kinda squish the penis, because it is flaccid it is easier to kinda squish it through, it might also be easier if you have lubrication. But you want to squeeze it through and all the way through the cock ring. Sorry, this is kind of sticky. And once you have that, you have the penis and the scrotum and balls through the cock ring. Now it is ready for action. Again, it might be easier if you have lubrication and kind of lubricate it a little bit so it'll slip more easily on. Now that it is on both the testicles and the penis, it will hold the blood that goes in So once the penis becomes erect, it will still be, I can't really do that here, it will be both on the penis and the testicles, and it will hold more blood in the penis. Once you want to get it off, all you need to do is reverse the process. Again, if your penis is erect, wait for it to become flaccid. Take it down and you can move it through one, take one testicle out, and then the other testicle out, and it'll come off more easily than putting it on, you will feel that. Alright, so that's how you put on a cock ring. I will repeat, why do you want to use a cock ring? Because cock rings make you feel harder, some people feel harder when they have a cock ring on, and it's a different sensation, both to the receiver of pleasure and the giver. It feels different to different people. And the other thing is that it might make you last longer. It will prolong the erection for longer because it holds the blood in. So I highly recommend trying it out. Try just the shaft, or try the shaft and the balls, and yes, there are also cock rings that are both that go through both of them, and also have a segment just for the shaft itself, and that's a different type of cock ring that goes over both. The last type of toy that I wanna talk about, because there are other pleasure zones in our body, not just the penis, is anal toys. And you can play with anal toys, you can play, your butt has a lot of sensation. There are two main areas that you want to kind of explore when you're talking about anal for people with penises. One of them is just the outside, the rectum, just the feeling around your anus. And the other is inside you can reach the prostate, which is a very important piece of male pleasure, and I will talk about that. Alright, Michel, I love that cock rings make all the veins on the shaft really bulge. Yeah, that's a really excellent experience. Thank you so much for sharing that. Yeah, again, it keeps the blood in and it kinda engorges the penis even more. So I recommend trying it out. Anal toys, there's an endless variety of anal toys and you can really try out so many different types. Let's put this way, this is a dildo, this could be an anal toy. What you want to watch out for is you want to have a flared base, you want to have a piece that will keep, you will be able to take it out, that's called a flared base. The thing I shout out to Dr. Vixen, Dr.Victoria who taught me without a base, without a trace. So you want to have a base for your toy so you could pull it out later. Please pay close attention to that. I wanna show a toy that I think is really great, especially for beginners that want to enjoy prostate play and are not used to anal play. This is a great beginner's toy by Aneros. I really like this toy, and I recommend it. I was not paid by them, I just really like this toy, and I want everyone to enjoy that kind of experience. How does this work? As you see, there is a base that stays outside and allows you to pull it out once you're done. But, I'm jumping ahead of myself, how do you use it? Basically, you can come up against the anus, please lubricate, lubricate, lubricate, but you notice that it is not very thick, it is about the thickness of your thumb, it is not very thick as opposed to a dildo that is pretty thick, right. You can see the difference, there is quite a lot of material here. So this is relatively easy to go in your rectum. So the thing is once you find your anus and the opening, and lubricate it, once you put it through, the idea is that once it goes through your rectum, which is a sphincter, it's a muscle, once you pass that point, it kinda slips into place, it goes right where it needs to go because of this special structure. It goes right where it needs to go and pushes against the prostate. Now what is the prostate? The prostate is where most of your seminal fluid comes from and a lot of people think that all the liquids come from the testicles, that is incorrect. The sperm comes from the testicles, but the fluid itself comes the prostate. And stimulating the prostate feels really good, really special for humans with penises. I've heard some people refer to it as the difference between clitoral orgasm and vaginal, g-spot orgasm, so the same thing with just regular penis stimulation and p-spot stimulation, prostate stimulation. And that kinda makes sense when you think about how our bodies develop between male and female, but yes, it's really interesting. Once you have that inside of you and that feels, that bumps up against the prostate itself, you don't have to do anything, because it sits in right, right where it should be. Again, you can move it around and feel where it goes, but generally you just feel it against yourself. And if you feel that sensation, again, everybody is different, there are a few different styles of this toy, find out what feels good to you and right for your body, but generally once you have that stimulation, the ejaculation is different, the orgasm is different. You want to try it out and feel how that feels. And again, anal play is really taboo in our culture and it doesn't have to be. Really, we all, almost everyone, yes, I know someone who does not have an anus, almost all of us have an anus, and people who have penises usually also have a prostate, and it's really good for you to try things out and see how it feels. So yes, please try out anal play, as well. There is so much information. Thank you so much for whoever tipped, thank you that was lovely. There is so much information, there are so many things to go over. And we talked about so many things here today. Oh, another tip, thank you, you're awesome, thank you, I appreciate that. There are so many different subjects that we have to talk about, that we can talk about when we talk about how to masturbate penises. Notice, I've been talking for an hour, and I didn't even talk about how the penis is structured and different areas that feel good on the penis. So, I have like five more minutes, because, it is important, but it's more important for me to talk about things that people usually don't talk about. How you handle the ejaculate, how do you keep yourself safe from chafing yourself, rather than, oh, this area feels good and that area feels good. But I will, I'll go over a few areas on the penis so you will know how you would like to stimulate yourself or others. First thing that a lot of people kind of disregard and it's really sad, and I would like for you to pay attention to is the scrotum and the testicles. Now, a lot of people are afraid because the testicles are painful, they have so many nerve endings that they can really hurt. But that's the testicles themselves, not the scrotum. The scrotum itself is a tissue that is very sensitive, but sensitive to different types of touch, whether it's stroking, or scratching, or stretching, it can really stretch and it doesn't hurt. It can actually take a lot. Talk to the person that owns the scrotum, and ask them, how would you like to be touched? Or can I try things out? Let me know if something hurts, right. So watch out for the testicles, but the scrotum can go and you can try out a lot of things with the scrotum itself. While I'm back here, there's also the perineum, which is what connects from the scrotum to the anus, there's a little line over there that can also feel good, and that's a whole different story, a whole different ways, a whole myriad of ways for you to pleasure that zone, which we don't have time right now. So I'm gonna continue to other areas. I'm gonna talk about the shaft itself. So the shaft, I would break it down to a few pieces. First of all, it's the shaft itself, it's length, it is, again, this is a relatively longer penis, but generally you have a lot of area to enjoy. And it likes to feel petted in repetitive motions up and down, but you can also try different types of sensations. Now, the shaft actually goes more into the body and if you, again, with consent of the penis owner, if you push your fingers inside the body more to where the shaft would continue inside the body, you can feel it, you can feel the shaft going inside and it's hard, but on the inside of the body. Try stimulating that in a different way, right, you can push your fingers and move it inside the body. Next thing is the base of the shaft is, again, filled with a lot of different types of sensation. If you hold it on the base and move just the base of the shaft, can feel really good for a lot of people. Next thing is the frenulum. The frenulum is at the end of the shaft right before the coronal ridge, the cap of the penis. This area right here is very sensitive. People sometimes say that when they experience prostate play, they feel this area. I know, it's kind of far away from one another, but still it gets stimulated. So this area is very sensitive and you can really pleasure it and, just like I mentioned, the coronal ridge and the glans of the penis itself, this is very sensitive and it can enjoy different things. The last thing is the urethral opening. And, again, it is where the urine and semen come out of, and it can also be very pleasurable to play with, but watch out, it can be very, very sensitive and you wanna watch out to see what the penis owner enjoys. So this was like kinda really quick rundown of penis anatomy, because it was really important for me to talk about other things, and I'm really glad that we got to cover everything I wanted to in this hour. Thank you so much for everyone who joined in and asked questions. Thank you Michel for your questions and your comments. Thank you everyone who tipped. Thank you everyone who just watched. I really enjoyed having you here on O School and talking about penis masturbation. We have more streams tomorrow and next week. Please tune in, I am Dr. Yoni Alkan. You can find me in various places on the internet. You can start off in all the social medias at Dr. Yoni Alkan, that's D-R-Y-O-N-I-A-L-K-A-N. DrYoniAlkan at Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, all those thing, please follow me, leave me comments, contact me, whatever you feel like. You can find more information about me at YoniAlkan.com, that's the website that holds everything that I do in this realm. And you can also look out at thebookofcuddles.com, which is the book that I'm writing about cuddling that will come out at the end of the month, and also you can look up elementsofsexuality.com. Elementsofsexuality.com is a cool, and fun, and geeky, have you noticed that I'm a geek, I don't know, geeky website that has all sorts of information for you to learn about different elements of our sexuality. Thank you so much, hey hey, for your comments and for the compliments. I had so much fun with you all, as well. Thank you Maya for moderating and for dropping all those links for me. You can find out all about that, all about me in all those links. I had such a good time with you all, thank you so much, and I look forward to seeing you all again. Have fun, masturbate those penises, enjoy yourself. Don't forget, sex is good and healthy. Take care of yourselves. Alright, I'll see you soon, bye bye.

Get More Out Of Jerking Off

Date
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Sep 4, 2018
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Tuesday, September 4, 2018
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2:00 pm

What's more embarrassing about taking a class on jerking off? Denying yourself the opportunity to have better orgasms. Learn how to get that hot rod HOTTER!