I'm Luna Matatas, and I'm a sex and pleasure educator based out of Toronto Canada and it's absolutely my anal pleasure, joy to bring you a workshop all about anal sex. So I have been teaching sexual health for about ten years and I've taught everywhere, all over the US and in Canada, and for a long time in Eastern and Southern Africa. And we're also gonna talk about external anal play, so not everyone likes penetration and a lot of times when we say, let's have anal sex or let's talk about anal sex, people sort of assume that there has to be a penetrated experience and that's not true. There's a ton of nerves around the outside of the anus that can give us a lot of pleasure without ever having to be penetrated. The anus is kind of like the great gender equalizer. I mean everyone has one, everyone's anus is different and some people find absolutely no pleasure from anal sex and lots of people see their butthole as another sex organ. And so, it can be really interesting to discover another pleasure spot on your own body or with someone else. So there's more pleasure to be had, you want it, right? and a lot of times we have assumptions around what it means to play with our anus and we can think that it's deviant, we can think that it's taboo, we can bring a lot of shame to it and particularly, people with penises who identify as heterosexual have experienced a lot of shame around receiving anal sex and making assumptions that it has something to do with their sexuality or really anus, anus or anal play, or anus love, it has absolutely nothing to do with anything other than it can be a really erotic experience. Much like our genitals, much like kissing, much like nipple play, much like cuddling, any activity that we take part in doesn't say anything about us as people, it doesn't say anything about us as deviants or good or bad, so anal sex can feel like it's gonna be something naughty if that does it for you. Anal sex can be incredibly sensual and romantic and affectionate, it can also be very intimate, for other people, they reserved it for certain types of partners or certain types of situations because they see it as something sort of divine, so anal worship is a thing. Our anal anatomy sort of starts with the anal canal which is the end part of the large intestine and then you've got the rectum and then you've got the anus. And our bodies have two anal sphincters. So sinkers are just circular muscles that help move things within a particular organ. So for the anus, its function is to sort of like squeeze things out through our body. So a lot of us when we experience something going inside the anus or whether that's a finger or a toy or a penis or another object, it can feel like we're gonna have a bowel movement. We think that shit pillow is gonna happen and it can really throw us into a protective, insecure mode and so the terrible thing about that is that our two sphincters are controlled by two different nerve supplies. So the external sphincter, we have a little bit more control over and so all of those little... You've got your assholes at home, you can use the one on your hand, so your your asshole has all these little crinkles of flesh and they fill up with blood when we get aroused and they start to expand a little bit which is why external anal play is so important. Don't skip over the external stuff just to get it in. There's a lot of pleasure that's being held in all those cute little crinkles on your asshole. And our internal sphincter is actually controlled by a different nerve supply and so that nerve supply is involuntary and so we don't have as much sort of external control over it. So a lot of times when we're trying penetration or we even talk about anal sex or we've had previous trauma or just not so great experiences around anal sex, our bodies remember that and so you can often have a conflict of like I really want to do this thing and we talked about it. We got all the lube, we have all the toys, we want to do the thing and then you know your internal sphincter is like no, like not today, sorry. And it can be really frustrating and so I've had people tell me, "You know just relax." I'm like that's the worst thing you can say to me to like try to get me to relax. And so often if someone's anus has resisted like maybe you can stick just like the tip of your finger in and the internal sphincter is kind of you know not really agreeing with stuff, that's okay. There's a ton of pleasure to be had around the external part and the more pleasure that we can give someone's body either through the external sphincter or through all of the other erogenous zones that are possible, the more likely we are to influence that other nerve supply for the involuntary control of the internal sphincter, and so the more likely someone is to get relaxed. If we're sort of penetration focused, we just want to get it in, we want to do the thing, it can be really frustrating for both people. Sometimes butt plugs have these two bulbous types of shapes or anal beads or you may see a butt plug that has a slightly kind of slimmer pointed top and then a more of a flared base but anything that has sort of a beads can help kind of do the massaging piece internally. And so your sphincters have something to grab on to and sometimes I can feel really stimulating for some people and for other people it can really make them feel like they're gonna take a dump. And sometimes it's a little bit of a trust experiment. The more that you are there play with your own anus or you have someone played with your anus that you trust, the mind over matter of that motion that I'm used to connecting to bowel movements is now connected to pleasure and a non-sexual experience with my, or the sexual experience with my asshole we start to relax and trust that we're not actually going to take a dump. People who are dealing with hemorrhoids and I've had hemorrhoids and wanted to have anal sex on myself, and it can be really tough depending on the stage where your hemorrhoids are, so most people who recommend that you lay low while the hemorrhoids are quite active or depending on where they are inside the anus or if there are more on the outside of the anus, the position of them definitely impacts the type of penetrative play that you could do. You can stay on the outside if there isn't going to be any sort of stretching. So the problem with anal sex is that the anus isn't self lubricating and so we need a ton of lube, we need lots of patience and lots of communication and if there are pre-existing conditions like hemorrhoids, like IBS irritable bowel syndrome, then there's an additional kind of level of care and checking in with someone. Most people will prefer to stay on the outside if they have internal hemorrhoids. The anal tissue is is quite sensitive and it can tear easily and a lot of times we don't know what that tearing feels like, so I always say to a new partner or a new butt that I'm playing with, and you know like you need to tell me when it feels like it's burning a little bit so burning is usually a sign of like very micro tearing anal tissue. For people with penises also is connected to pleasure for the prostate. So the prostate is sometimes described as a male g-spot. So the g-spot for people with penises is located sort of just under the the anus between where the penis is so you kind of reach it with like two fingers or one finger inside the anus crooking towards the front of someone's body and it feels a little bit firmer and some people, some people it's harder to find, some people smaller, some people it's bigger but people do connect it to different, a different type of orgasm. You don't need to experience very strong kind of stimulation with the prostate in order to experience good anal sex. So I've been harping a lot on that anal doesn't have to be painal, and doesn't have to be penetrative and so people with penises and people with prostates can still enjoy a lot of pleasure from the external. If you're talking about the prostate, for some people with penises, they say that it tends to feel like a deeper type of, deeper body orgasm and less genital. So you're going to feel like there's kind of like a deep sensation. I mean I don't have a prostate so I don't have first-hand experience with it but some people also say that when they ejaculate from prostate stimulation, that there is more fluid, and that doesn't always happen. You can still enjoy prostate pleasure without having a prostate ejaculation and some people actually find it really intense to even just have something inside their anus while they're getting their genitals stimulated. So whether that's a penis or a vulva and it just sort of enhances or intensifies the orgasm. AJ, oh, thanks for sharing AJ. Aj says for me, it feels like every movement you make, you notice. So there's an enhanced sensitivity to it. That's awesome AJ also orgasms are like a million percent better or stronger. Well much like g-spot orgasms on people with bulbous, and some people find like a great difference between them and some people just find it a different type of orgasm, a different type of stimulation and experience of pleasure and feel some people describe it like a walnut. So that it's about the size of a walnut. I don't think I've ever felt one that's as big as a walnut. I think it's a little bit smaller but it's definitely it's a little, it's no further in than maybe one and a half knuckles. So maybe about there and so you'd be crushing your fingers in, so if this is the butthole and someone's lying on their stomach, if you're inserting and kind of crushing your fingers or curling your fingers towards the front of their body and just move like very gently, even one finger kind of like side-to-side and roll around, their body will also give you a response. You can also say like you know tell me when it feels good or like give me a little moan when I find it. I mean encourage them to give you information about what's happening with their body. One of the other pieces of anatomy that's really important and that we all have is the perineum. So do you all know what the perineum is? Do you have other words that you call the perineum? The perineum is the space between genitals and the asshole and so sometimes it's called the chode, I've heard taint. My favorite ones that I heard during the last bus driveragnza was nacho. So it's not your ass and not your pussy. I'm killing myself, I'm killing myself. Knowing the the perineum is actually part of a an erotic experience for some people, can give you something else to do. It gives you another way to bring pleasure to the anus and to the person that you're playing with, by engaging an area that kind of gets ignored. I mean it's sort of like a laneway between your tentacles and your asshole but the way that it's positioned and depending on the position of someone's bodies, so whether they're bent over or there on their back, or their on their all-fours, the perineum can give access to some of the orbit of the prostate stimulation. For some people, it just feels really sensitive and they don't really like the feeling of it. For other people, they like it licked, maybe lapping on the perineum or kissing the perineum, sometimes you've been hovering around the areas that we want to stimulate so we're interested in the butthole and the genitals. Kissing and smelling and licking and tasting the perineum is one of the great ways to engage in seduction of the butt because we're in the area, it's a little bit of tease but it's also about making someone really comfortable that we're happy to be there. Enthusiasm around the asshole and not necessarily eagerness towards a goal like eagerness thwarts penetration or eagerness towards orgasm that we're just really happy and grateful and celebratory of the fact that we get to be with our faces in someone's crotch. That is amazing. You get to be down there, you get to discover a pleasure with them and you also get to check out you know what are the things about it that turned you on. So I really like scent. Scent for me is a big part of sensuality. I'm very primal. I really enjoy taking in someone. I feel like it's another part of them that I get to seduce and engage with in an intimate way. And so a lot of people are worried about their genitals and particularly their assholes smelling offensive and so of course if you've just taking a dump, go wash your butt. You know like I installed a bidet in my bathroom for in-between sex things. who knew. So there's a lot of shame around our stance in our natural bodies and that can create a barrier to having really relaxed and present anal sex. So I was one that was always into anal sex and I also wasn't with people that were really open for me to play with their anuses. So I was married for nine years monogamously to a man and he was not into anal sex, giving or receiving, and so I didn't really know even that my butthole was like a thing and when I got divorced, I was like fuck everyone and I want to use all the things. And I have this just like big like year of like exploration years, years It's been years. Years of exploration and really just sort of testing things out on my own body. So one way to get curious about anal play, whether or not you already have a predetermined kind of experience or fantasy that you would like to pursue give yourself permission if you want to to touch your own anus and particularly if you're touching it during masturbation, you're already in a sexual state and masturbation can often change our relationship to things that our potential pleasure for us, and so you may touch your butthole during masturbation and be like ask not for me I'm not into that but I like touching other people's buttholes. That's okay too. Even holding a vibrator against your asshole, not even putting anything in just touching the outside and seeing what feelings come up for you. You know or do you feel shamed about it, did you sniff your finger after, or maybe you're worried about how you smell. Maybe you're worried that it makes you deviant or that it says something about your sexual orientation, or that you know there's some shame in it or perhaps there's trauma that you're also holding in it. So having a closer relationship to the way that our body experiences some of the things that we are curious about, we don't have to do everything that we also want to engage with other people, but just being aware of all of the nuances and dynamics that come with exploring a butthole or an ass in general. Going into this kind of thinking about like how much pleasure can I possibly bring this person's butthole? And the way that we also bring pleasure is by layering pleasure. And so when we're learning a new technique or you're like okay I watch lunar stream and now I need to go eat a butthole, you kind of focus in on the technique. You focus in on the thing and so you forget that this person has more than a butthole to help them get aroused. So their arousal can also come from playing with their genitals at the same time you're playing with their anus, it can come from eye gazing. It can come from them holding a toy or touching themselves against their body. It can come from them you know fingering you or eating your ass or eating your genitals while you're also playing with them. Creating more arousal overall by bringing in more of their erogenous zones helps relax them. It helps bring them into the present moment so that they can experience and communicate whatever is happening, and it also gives you a more connected experience so you're not sort of treating it as okay, well there's this thing I want to do to you. It's more of well let's do this like thing together and see what comes of it. So there's a lot less pressure for performance. So sometimes when we start to take on new experiences like exploring with anal sex or kink or whatever we're interested in, we can't, we don't have necessarily all of the equipment, the emotional equipment that we need to process those experiences so if you try something once and you're like yeah, that didn't do it for me, you know can reflect on it like what didn't do it for you? Did your partner rush you? Did you not like feel confident? Were you not exploring you know the shame that maybe you held going into the experience? And so that can feel really, really challenging. Also I'm going to talk with you a little bit about the toys and the kinds of things that you would put in your butt. If you're interested in anal massage or analingus so oral anal sex stuff, I'll have some videos coming out on my website in September around external anal play, pegging and also prostate play. So I know those are topics that we won't get time to cover completely tonight but you can sign up for my newsletter and then you'll be the first to know when everything is dropped in September. Also I can show you an actual anus on my website, so you'll see what it looks like when I'm talking about the crinkles and when you've got sort of your hands moving through things so you'll get sort of a first-hand demo of some of the techniques that I'm talking about. So I'm gonna show you what's in my butt basket. So I'm getting a bouquet of butt toys out for you. So whenever you put something in your butt or someone else's butt, we need to make sure that it has a flared base. So a flared base looks like this. It can look like this. It can look like this. It just means that we're giving an anchor to the outside of the toy outside of our anus because unlike the vagina, the anus doesn't have a natural end. And if you go on YouTube and look up you know the thing that the emergency room had to take out of anuses in 2018, it's pretty shocking what people are putting up their butt. So you want to keep your butt from the butt that you love safe and healthy and you want to be able to retrieve your toys or whatever you're putting up someone's butt. If you have a fantasy of something like a cucumber up someone's butt, you know you can also use that externally. So for example a lot of people will ask me you know, "Can I drink alcohol out of someone's asshole?" And I typically don't recommend it because A, alcohol dries out the anal tissue making it more likely to be prone to tearing and also, there's another way to simulate that fantasy that's a little bit safer. So you could kind of take you know a bottle of something and dribble it down someone's like butt crack, down their asshole maybe onto a towel and then lap them up so you're actually giving them more sensation while engaging in the type of fantasy of drinking from their asshole. So there are creative ways to work around things to get the same intention or flavor that you're looking for and the same feelings out of it for you and your partners without compromising your health or your safety or their health or their safety. I love all of the doughnut holes. Thank You donut holders. Lisa baby loves coupons. Me too Lisa baby. Okay, cool girl says it will burn. Yeah, for sure, yeah for sure. Thank you Justin for reminding folks about the tip jar. Okay so I'm gonna go through butt plugs. There were lots of different kinds of butt toys. You can do anal beads, you can do dildos. You can use vibrators. You can use all different kinds of things. I'm gonna talk about the types of materials and then a little bit about lube but Jess is coming up right after me at 8:00 p.m. talking all about lube, so you want to stay tuned for her stream because she's gonna go through everything and she has this cool like lube racing board thing, I don't know, it's hilarious. Okay so you can have butt plugs that are made of a bunch of different materials. You can have rubber ones, you can have silicone, you can have glass, you can have stainless steel, rubber ones are gonna smell strong. So if you go into a sex shop and and typically they're a little bit cheaper, they're sort of jelly looking and sometimes they're in fun shapes or you know it's like a big dong or something. The problem with those is that they're really hard to keep safe, so they're porous which means that they pick up bacteria inside of them that we would have a hard time accessing even if we're boiling them. If you have a butt plug like that or a dildo like that, and you really want it up your ass, then you're gonna put a condom on it just so that you keep your body safe from any of those materials. When you're looking for butt plugs, you want to start with something. You know these are like, these are so many. There's so many here. There's so many butt plugs. I can't go through all of them for you tonight but I would recommend starting with something that's pretty small, so pretty much the level or the size of two fingers and sometimes, sometimes, we have a partner or ourselves where our eyes are bigger than our butt. You know we want like fist like to go inside our asshole. We like the idea of being stretched out or filled, you can do that. You can get there but you can also simulate it like sometimes people are very surprised that even something like this gives them the fullness that they were expecting with something bigger but helps their body be a little bit more accommodated and so their body may not be ready for something that's really big so thinking about plugs that are also smoother or that have very small sort of beading. So this is a bigger plug. This one's for like a little bit more of a butt slut like someone who's kind of like knows their body, is comfortable communicating about things and really wants to go a little bit bigger. Some people find glass really fun because it's smoother. I don't tend to put condoms on my glass ones cuz they're super easy to clean. Some of the more softer silicone ones like these, I do find they keep a little bit of a butt stink no matter how much you clean them, and so I put condoms on them and I just tie the condoms off at the end, so that they don't disappear into the body. Doesn't look as hot but you know, then I don't have to like clean as much. And then you've got some that are like this, that also have a vibrator on the end. This is from fuse as well. If you're interested in any of the toys that I show, make sure you sign up for my newsletter cuz I'm gonna do a tour of my butt basket in September and with links and discounts to all of the toys. Sometimes we want to be decorative. You know you want a little jewel coming out of your butthole or a bunny tail or a rabbit tail or something, and that can be really fun too. The most important thing you're thinking about is the size at first and if you're going with something like glass or stainless steel, they're gonna be heavier than some of the silicone ones. So they're from Fun Factory and they actually jiggle. So there's like a cool kind of jiggling inside which is a really unique kind of sensation. Ayanna I don't know if you experienced some pleasure from like the actual movement of the balls. There is a little bit of a design flaw like so there's these little folds here, they're basically like shit catchers and so I actually put a condom on this and just use it that way. I put condoms on most of my butt toys just for like easier cleanup. So external anal play. Does anyone like eating ass? Do I have any eating ass fanatics in here? If you like your ass eaten or you like eating ass, maybe we can do some more emojis? Put some emojis in there. External anal play so external anal play can be a part of seduction of the butt like part of like on your way to penetration but it can also be a thing on its own, particularly if you're stimulating the external anus and doing something else. So if you are doing something to someone's butt hole and then you've got your other hand and you're like dragging it up their body or touching their genitals or fingering them or kissing them, that can really add to the eroticism of the moment and so it doesn't become like okay, I'm just like warming you up so I can like get it in. It becomes like wow let's be really present in all of the delicious pleasure that is happening right now. If we're eating someone's donut hole or you want to eat someone's doughnut hole, there are a couple of things that we often think about. So first things people are like,"Ew, does it stink?" "What is it taste like?" Buttholes definitely have their own unique type of scent. It isn't what you would think it would be? It isn't shit. It is sort of a combination of you know when you smell like someone's armpit and there's a particular sweat that comes from that. That's different than like under the boob sweat or between the creases sweat, so it has its own skin smell. If someone's flat hole it's clean a.k.a they haven't had a recent bowel movement within like the last like hour or so and they don't have any other extenuating issues around their butthole like if you had Taco Bell and it messed you up, there's no shame in tapping out of anal for the day, right, you're okay. You can tap out anal, it'll be there next time. And so kind of knowing where we're at, knowing where we can really experience the most pleasure is also about the type of communication that we give our partners. Your partner may be like, "Yeah, I'm down to eat you out," and all you need to say is like oh like today, I actually prefer X, Y, Z. You can do the redirect and that doesn't necessarily mean that you're denying someone pleasure, it doesn't mean that you're rejecting it with like a you know closed bar for today. You're just giving information about the type of pleasure that you would like to have at this moment and at this particular time, and that's really powerful and it makes your lovers more responsive because you're giving them the information that they need to bring you the most pleasure possible. When we bring a buttonhole into an erotic context, sometimes I ask people to you know can I make out with your butthole, or do you want to make out with my butthole? So to engage it as something that's also responding to specific stimuli much like our genitals. Some people really like particular types of speed or intensity on their genital stimulation and other people like something completely different. the anus is exactly the same way so analingus or eating it like a doughnut hole, experiment with also seduction. So kiss your way down. Kiss down from the top of the butt crack and lick it and kiss it or drag your teeth on it, tell them how much you can't wait to get your face between their butt cheeks. Create this sort of hunger for their body. That can really relax someone. It can be one way to bring their bodies into the present moment. So licking down the crack and almost like spreading open their anus and then bringing it back together, and letting like them experience the sensation of such a warm crevice contrasting with the cold air. That can be a little bit like oh, like what's happening and what's coming down the line. Communicating the whole time also. So telling someone what you're narrating, what you're about to do or what you would like to do can feel really exciting because it kind of also reassures someone that you're not trying to go for the gold. You know like you're not just gonna lick their asshole and then try and stick you know three fingers in. And so just telling them that you really love how they taste and how they smell and you know would they like more pressure or less pressure. The one thing around anal safety and anal hygiene is particularly if you're playing with the anus on someone's body that also has a vulva, you want to keep the anus in the anus and the vulva in the vulva. So we don't want to ever cross contaminate because the ecosystem of a vagina is actually quite different than the ecosystem of an anus. If you're going from ass to mouth, ass to mouth used to be really considered something that was like a high no, no and we see it in porn a lot and in porn, I mean porn's performance, it's produced, it can be really sexy but it doesn't necessarily give us an accurate picture of how to do the things that we want to do in the safest and most respectable ways that we would do them with real people who are not performing. And so lots of times porn stars also have a lot of prep for their ass to mouth scenes and so they're extra clean than like the average person who is just like going down, you know getting down. So ass to mouth, so, if your own anus, if someone kisses it then they kiss your mouth, the the possibilities of you getting something that you didn't already have in your system, I mean if you are passing E. coli or like something like a very intestinal issue, then of course but you probably shouldn't be having anal sex on those days where you could have something like diarrhea or soft stool even. Giardia is also another stomach infection that used to be associated with eating ass but a lot of that also was clouded with homophobia because it would tended to be something that was diagnosed amongst gay men. So if you want to protect against any of those potential contaminations. You have options. So if you don't, if you haven't seen a dental dam, sometimes they can be hard to find. You can order them online or if you're near like a sex-positive shop, you can find them. Someone mentioned I think, Ayanna you mentioned, that they are in one of your drugstores in the US. I haven't seen them in drugstores in Canada but maybe they're out there, anyway they look like this. They're are pieces of latex and so they they're called dental dams because they are used in dental practices and a dental dam covers whatever orifice that you are potentially going to put your mouth on, and it creates a barrier between that orifice and your mouth so the exchange of fluids, the exchange of skin protects you against any potential feces or infection and also sexually transmitted infections. So you can be exposed to sexually transmitted infections through giving analingus to someone. So putting this, putting a little bit of lube on this side that's gonna go against the butthole, and then putting it over the buthole and then putting your tongue in there and swirling around and doing whatever you want to do while all the surface area is connected. If you don't have access to a dental dam, you can also use non microwavable Saran wrap and just cut off a piece. Borrowing that in desperate situations, Luna has improvised. I have used condoms and this isn't the best at all because it's very awkward but with condoms, you can put your two fingers through and their comments are very stretchy, right. And so I actually have to stretch it over someones butthole in this direction and then put my tongue through it. And so you have options. You have ways that you can protect your mouth from coming into contact with things that you're not interested in having to come into contact with or if you want to move between genitals and anus, then keep the anus covered and that way your mouth can just move between things. Also one of my favorite things, gloves. So gloves are amazing, not only for sexual health purposes and also to keep things in the butt, but gloves are sexy as fuck, right. Gloves are also amazing because they protect the anus from any jagged edges on your nail or if you've got those beautiful like claw nails, you may want to even put like cotton balls on the tips or something for your gloves. It also smooths out your hand. So it smoothes it out to create more of a smooth contact in the texture of the inside of the anus. So putting lube on top of your glove and then using it to you know stimulate around the anus or go inside the anus or on the perineum or up on the butt crack, the lube isn't gonna absorb into your skin as readily as it would if it was like hand to skin as well. And I'm gonna talk about my favorite types of lube in a minute and also the toys that you can use externally or internally. And so right now we're just talking a little bit about analingus and eating ass, eating it like a doughnut hole. So using your fingers in addition to your mouth can also help you because sometimes people find that it's a little bit challenging to get their face like in between and stay there for an extended period of time. It's very awkward on our jaw. So one of the things I recommend with analingus is using different parts of your face. So use your chin and like move it into their butthole and drag it bend down from the top of their crack, all the way down across their butthole, maybe kiss it on the way down and then down to their perineum. The chin is also amazing to stimulate the perineum. Use your nose. You can put your nose in there and drag it up and down and knuckle it around cuz your nose and your chin are not gonna fall into an anus, right. Like they're not going to you know accidentally slip in. So you're also giving someone reassurance that I'm not trying to get in your ass, I'm really just trying to give your ass a really good time. When you're done with your gloves or you want to use his hand for something else, all you need to do is pull it off in reverse fashion and that way all of the butt juices and everything is contained on the inside and you can take it and throw it on your little anal towel. So I keep a dark-colored towel by the side of my bed to throw gloves and toys and dental dams whatever it's been used in the butt, so we keep it away from the rest of the bed and also the rest of any toys that might potentially go in my vulva or someone else's. All right, wait. AJ says looby gloves are the freakin' best. Lisa baby says are gloves sexy, hold on let me get my gloves. Yeah totally, and when you do the snap thing, and you're like, I'm ready. We're totally hot. You can make whatever you want hot because you're hot. As soon as you feel your sexy, whatever is an extension of that is still channeling your sexy. So when we're also talking about hygiene, there's lots of information about enemas and like heavy douching, pretty much you can get away like let's say you have a hookup or you have someone that's coming over or you decided to do anal sex like in the middle of everything, it's not mandatory for you to you know have a major like douching session in the middle of everything. Soapy finger in your butt in the shower or make it a thing, both of you get in the shower and you do it but a soapy finger in your butt is pretty much all you need to clean out that first part of the anus where either a tongue or fingers potentially you know a penis or a dildo or some other object might go in deeper and the problem is when we over douche, we can also wear out and dry out the anal tissue even further. So I'll tell you what I do and I'll tell you what some of the options are I mean you can go do enemas and douching kids or have shower attachments, but this is my favorite little anal syringe thing, I washed it so that you could like see it. It's not the one I actually use but like, I wanted to put water in it. The anal syringe, you can find these at sex shops. They're gonna be prettier, they're gonna be red or black or something like that but anal syringes, you can also find them in the butt aisle in like any drugstore so the butt aisle is gonna have things like diarrhea medicine or you know things for constipation and they're usually under $10. They look a little bit medical but if you're not using them as part of your play or maybe you're into medical looking things, this is a great way to kind of just do a little douche and it doesn't go all the way up into the anal canal. It sort of flushes out just the rectum. So all that catching is if there's any leftover feces in there that it's just kind of like rinsing it out until you put a little bit of lube on it and you put it up your bum and so you kind of use it to pick up the water. So put it in the sink or a cup or something. The one thing that will save you from ruining these when you buy them for the first time is that once you've squirted it into your ass sitting over the toilet or sitting in the shower, hold on to it like keep it squeezed as you pull it out because if you let go, it's gonna suck everything in and then all your shit water is actually in the bowl. So these are called anal syringes. All right Coco says speaking of cleaning, what would be a good way to cut time while prepping? I'm kind of worried about using the shower attachment so I'm still using the good ol enema bag. Yeah Coco I think like the anal syringe is like the quickest way. You're only running about like one full bulb in and out and you're just waiting for the water to run clear. And some people you know they'll do too much of it and my best friend was like trapped in my bathroom for like an hour cuz she's like I think I gave myself diarrhea and so she basically used the syringe too many times and it started to disrupt bowel movements that hadn't even yet come down into the rectum and so you don't want to disrupt anything. It's not necessary, your ass doesn't have to be I'm completely squeaky clean in order for you to have anal, and likewise for someone else. A lot of times we don't want to tell someone to go kind of you know freshen up but what I'll do especially if it's a casual situation or if it's a hookup, I really like casual sex and hookups and so I'll kind of say hey, I'm gonna go freshen up. You know I'll leave a towel in there for you, like feel free to get that asshole super clean before I put my face in it for hours. So you can kind of use it as part of like let's normalize this. You know I want you clean, you want you clean, you know let me give you permission and affirmation that it's okay like or maybe you're a little right. Maybe you went out for a date you're walking around and you want them to just freshen up and it's not intuitive for them that they would actually want to do that or they feel kind of embarrassed to say hey I'm a little bit like not sure myself, can I use your bathroom? So give them permission. Give them some butt wipes and let them know that you know they can use whatever they need to use in order to to get cleaned up. If you want more information about your specific situation, the specific butts that are in your life, I do pleasure coaching via Skype or Zoom and I also have a coupon code for the book that changed my butt's life, the anal sex basic so if you want that, drop me an email and I will send you the the coupon code for that.