ON-DEMAND

Body Positivity for Summer

Calendar
Streamed
Monday, July 9, 2018

Summer fashions can sometimes send us on an emotional roller coaster. Let's explore feeling sexy in our skin and rockin' our bods in everything from swimsuits and sandals to sundresses and shorts.

Video transcript

If you're just joining us, my name is Micki Allen of Micki Allen Coaching, broadcasting to you from the very hot state of Texas. Let's start our pool party primer. If y'all have any questions, feel free to go ahead and put them in the chat and we'll discuss those as they come in and I'll try to keep track of them. The first thing I want to say is that the best way to treat our bodies is to treat them as we would any lover because the longest-standing relationship we're ever gonna have in this world is the relationship that we have with our bodies. And so, it's right that we should treat these God-given gifts as the temples that they are and love them accordingly. And so, we need to develop a really good relationship with our bodies. How do we treat our best friends? And even more importantly, how do we treat our lovers? That's a really good question. To love our body and treat it like a lover or a very best friend, we want to look at our bodies as a whole unit. That includes our minds, our bodies, and our souls. And I find that it's very important to make sure that we have all three of those on board with one another. Because if we don't have those three in alignment, it's going to be more difficult to see ourselves as the whole human being that we are. And so, the first thing, I think, that is super important that we do when we love our bodies is that we be grateful for what it is that our bodies can do. Can we see the beautiful world around us? Can we smell the scent of our lover or the delicious foods or the flowers or a bright spring day? Can we speak with our partners? Can we whisper in their ear? Can we communicate with our eyes lovingly? Can we touch? Can we wave to the right and wave to the left? No? Well, that's okay because the most sensual part of our body, as everyone knows, including science has proven, is our brain, our mind. And that is why it is so important to nurture and nourish our minds when it comes to loving ourselves and loving our bodies. Now, that may sound counterproductive or counterintuitive when it's like, we're talking about bodies here, bodies in the summer. But our bodies begin with our minds and so, we have to love our bodies by speaking affirmations and affirmatively to our bodies as often as we can, just like we would to a friend or to a lover. So, I suggest that you write down and make a list of the top 10 things you love about your body. It may be that your body allows you to wave. It may be that your body allows you to touch or to feel. It may be that you love your hair, which a lot of girls on Instagram seem to do. Or, you may love your eyes, the way your eyes look or your lips, you know. You may really like your cleavage or really have a lot of junk in the trunk and that's something that you're very proud of. Remind yourself of this, things that you are very happy about your body, and remind those parts of your body that you love them and you cherish them and that you're proud of them. And then, when you're in your little sundress and you can kinda boost up the cleavage, you'll feel good. It'll give you that air of confidence, right? And when we're confident, we're always going to exude more beauty and sensuality. And so, what do we do with our lovers? When we first have a lover, we're very touchy-feely. Have you ever noticed that? Yeah, you wanna touch every part of your lover, right? Get to know your body. Know everybody's, I mean, excuse me, every part of your body. Know every inch and be grateful for every inch. Now, if you have been a lover or a lovable or a lovely that has been following me for a while, you know I'm a huge proponent of pleasure-mapping. And when we pleasure-map, we map out the parts of our body, not just physically but also emotionally, that bring pleasure to us as a whole. And so, when we know those parts of our body that bring us pleasure or that bring us joy, even. You may have a beautiful voice. And when we get to know those and honor those parts of ourselves, we're bringing that and we're going to reflect that to the world at large. And so, touching your body, knowing your body, staying in tune with your body is very important. And a part of that is whispering sweet nothings. We whisper sweet nothings to our lovers and we whisper words or yell words of encouragement to our confidantes and our best friends, right? And so, encouraging yourself is also very, very important. Now, some people have said to me, "Micki, that is, like, the weirdest thing. "I don't like to stand in front of a mirror "and go, yay, I love my breasts!" But, why not? That's my question: Why not? Or, if you really like your waistline, you know, I love my waistline. Touch your waistline, feel it. I feel good about my waistline. That really comes in handy especially if you like to wear a bikini or a tankini or little crop tops, right? And we do favors for our lovers and for our friends. And so, that's where the icky part, 'cause I don't love exercise, but it doesn't have to be, just because if we, if we're gonna exercise or try to eat properly, I'm sorry, I have some incense going over here. I'm gonna move it. I love incense. I'm a sensual person, I like tastes and smells and I'm very tactile, so forgive the little incense there. But yeah, you just do good things for your body that you know your body enjoys. And it can be things that are fun and especially in the summer. Hey, if you like swimming or hanging out by the pool or just walking around the pool, doing laps or what have you, that is something that is great for your body and you can feel good about it and you can also look good while you're doing it too and know that you're getting yourself in shape and feeling better about yourself, which is always a plus. Have you ever noticed that if you're going out on a date and, this is for the girls, especially, no offense to my males watching, but have you ever noticed that when you put on silky new lingerie that's matching, you feel good. No one may see what you're wearing underneath, but just knowing, you, knowing, yourself, what it is that's underneath, that gives you that air of confidence and it makes you feel a little bit more powerful. And guys, sometimes, it's just going a cut above and making sure that, you know, the boxer briefs don't have any holes in them. That may make you feel really good and really sexy, too. So, we're starting from the inside and working our way out. Can y'all tell? Okay. So, dress up. And you don't have to dress up for anybody but yourself. And so, you define what that dressing up is that's gonna make you feel good and feel confident about yourself. Throw on a tank top, throw on some shorts, but those brand-new Converse tennis shoes that you just got that you know you're gonna feel really good and you're really gonna rock? Slide your feet in those and that's gonna give you that air. It's the little things that can really make our day. New pair of earrings that you got or a new stud that you got, you know, that you can wear to give yourself just a little bit of extra oomph that's gonna make you feel really good. And, let's see... Be a good listener. Listen to your bodies. Now, this one is, I will admit, my Achilles heel. 'Cause sometimes, my body will talk to me, and I'm just like, shut up. Because I'm a night owl. I like to be up in the darker moments of the day and so, I feel like I get most of my work, I'm most productive in the evening. But, sometimes, we just have to listen to our body. Is your body tired? Excuse me. Honor that. Get some sleep, darling, okay? The world will be there tomorrow when you wake up. The dirty laundry will be there. The myriad chores that you have on your to-do list will still be there, but that doesn't mean that you can't get, you know, an extra wink, extra few winks of sleep that night. If you're hungry, eat. Who ever said anything's wrong with a second breakfast? Not I. Oh, I crack myself up. But anyway, so, these are ways that we can treat our bodies that it's gonna make us feel better about ourselves, and that is naturally going to reflect to the outside world. And that confidence, that air of confidence, it's gonna make us feel so much better even when we're wearing fewer clothes. And I'm all for fewer clothes. Trust me, okay? I think modesty, if that's your bag, is a very good thing. But we're talking about, you know, body shaming is a no-no. We're talking about wearing what makes us feel comfortable in the heat. Okay. As we start to love our bodies, we wanna make sure, just like any other relationship, we're gonna maintain that relationship. And maintaining that relationship is going to include several different factors, the first of which is being honest. Honesty is always the best policy in any walk of life, in any situation. Sorry, that's my creed. Honesty's always the best policy. And so, here comes the controversial part. And I'm going to tell you, men and women, and everything in between, know your numbers. What? Yes, know your numbers. I'm gonna share a story about my beloved grandmother that really, really made me sad and really, really, when I found out that this was something that my grandmother did, it broke my heart. And I vowed never to do it myself. My grandmother was very conscious of her weight. She would actually cut the tags out of her clothing so that she did not have to see the sizes that she was wearing. And I don't know if that's something they did in the '70s or the '80s, I don't know if that's something Weight Watchers was like, oh yeah, cut out the tags, 'cause, you know, your numbers don't define you. That is true. Our numbers do not define us. But I'm gonna put, let you in on a little secret. If we know our numbers, and accept and embrace our numbers, we're gonna look better. Do you know why? After I had, I had seven children, and after I had my very first son, I gained a lot of weight. I put on a good 75 pounds. I was, you know, mortified at that time 'cause I was always, you know, the thin one, very lithe and skinny and pinup-y-looking. I was ashamed of my body. I wanted to hide my body. And so, I practically went to Texas Tent and Awning just to get fabric to just hide my body behind these huge clothes. Well, what I didn't know then, at that time, was, by wearing a bra that was ill-fitting, by wearing these clothes that were huge and way too big for me, I was putting 10 pounds on myself. I was actually making myself look bigger than I was. And so, I had a wonderful salesperson, this woman was incredible, beautiful, curvy woman, and she said to me, "Honey, let's get your measurements. "We're gonna get your real size. "We're gonna put you in clothes that fit you properly "and that fit you the way that they should, "and you are gonna see just how sexy you really are." And she transformed my world. Because I let her do my measurements. It was a very humbling experience for me, let me tell you. That was not easy for me. But we got my perfect bra size, we got my perfect panty size, we got my perfect blouse and skirt and jeans and everything. She rocked me in a brand-new wardrobe and it fit the way it was supposed to fit. Now, I'm short, I'm less than 5'2. I'm 5'1 and 1/2, that half counts. And so, she said, "You know, your pants are too long. "Spend an extra $5, go to the tailor, "and have them fixed." Now, it may seem crazy to go to Walmart and get a $15 pair of pants and then spend another $5 or $10 to get them to fit me properly, but it's not, it's great. Then they look like they're a $100 pair of pants instead of a $15 pair of pants from Walmart and it ends up costing me 20 or 25 bucks to rock a pair of slacks that look like they cost $100 and came off the rack at Neiman-Marcus. So, know your numbers, embrace your numbers, and use them in your favor. Use them on your side. And, you know, I, I have male relatives that love to wear jeans that are about 6" too small, so that they end up under the gut and they get that Dunlop disease, you know, where it's done lopped over their belts. And here in Texas, our belt buckles are big, so you can tell when those suckers are not fitting properly. Wear the sizes that are true to your body style and you are gonna feel a million, like a million bucks. You're gonna look better, you're gonna wear your clothes instead of having your clothes wear you. So, that's important. Honesty, always the best policy. Know your numbers. And rock those digits, right? Okay. Then, we wanna be supportive. Support your body. If a friend comes to us in need, what do we do? A friend in need is a friend indeed, right? And we're gonna support our bodies in whatever way they need to be supported or it needs to be supported. So, listen to your body, talk to your body, don't be afraid to talk to your body, and listen to what's happening, like on one day. Like, let's say, on a Monday, you're having a really good hair day. And you're just like, hey, okay, so I'm gonna emphasize my hair today. I'm gonna wear just regular clothes, whatever just is comfortable in this horrible heat or whatever, something that I feel pretty good in, but I'm gonna let me hair down. Ahh, yeah! And take a couple of Instie selfies, right? Because you're feeling good about yourself. If you really enjoy your cleavage, make sure you're choosing the clothes that are going to show off your beautiful breasts. And, again, I can't emphasize enough, wearing the clothes that are fitting properly are what are really gonna make you feel good. And isn't that what it's really all about? Fashion should make you feel good. Damn what everybody else says. It doesn't matter what anybody else says. Now, I don't know, this may be a factor of age, 'cause I'm knocking on 50's door and I've lived a very long time, and forever, I used to dress for my social peers, I used to dress for my professors, I used to dress for my bosses, I dress for my boyfriends, I dress for my friends. And I guess 40 was a really liberating age for me and I hope that you, I wish I had learned it earlier, and I hope that you can learn it earlier too, where you don't have to dress for anybody. The only person you have to impress is you. Because when you're impressed with yourself, I'm telling you, what are we doing? That's gonna mirror, that's gonna shine out to everyone around us and we're gonna feel really good and we're gonna know that we're rocking our summer bod,right? Okay, so, we're gonna be supportive, we're gonna listen to our bodies, and another good thing is, what else do we do for our friends? We defend them, don't we? A really good friend, if you hear someone say something about your friend, you're gonna defend them. If you hear someone speaking negatively about a community or someone that is on, you know, the fringes or the outliers, you're gonna stand up for them, aren't you? I know you are, right, 'cause I would. And, hey, I don't like this kind of talk. This is not appropriate. This is not, you know, how we're gonna talk today. This is not okay in my presence. And so, you let them know about that. Same thing for your body. If somebody says something that you feel like is, you know, oh, you sure smell good for a fat girl, or gives you some horrible, hurtful, backhanded compliment, you know? The one I hate the most is, oh, she has a pretty face. Really? Yeah, I know that I have a pretty face and I have a pretty smoking hot bod too, thank you. Have a go-to phrase that you know, that's kind but still puts them in their place and lets them know that you don't allow that kind of talk, that it's not something that's acceptable to you. When you look good, when you feel good, that gives you a little bit more power to protect yourself from something that may be negative that someone maybe trying to throw shade at you. The only shade I want in summer are my sunglasses. All right, excuse me. Thank you, Maya. Hi, Eva, oh my god, I'm so honored that you're here, thank you. It's 100 degrees there, too? Yeah. I could do without these triple digits day in and day out, couldn't y'all? Anyway, thank you so much, guys, for joining. I really do appreciate you. You're amazing and awesome. What we talked about, giving, being supportive of our bodies, being honest with ourself, being honest with our bodies, the next thing I wanna say is invest in your best. Invest in your best. Again, this just comes down the line. It's the logical conclusion of what we've already been talking about. Invest, you know, you like your feet, invest in shoes. Or you like shoes? Hey, Kickshins! Put together an outfit for 40 bucks and then go buy the $60 shoes. Save up and get the shoes that you want. It may be an expensive pair of Converse or it may be a pair of Kate Spades or, you know, Nikes, or whatever it is that you like to wear. Whatever you feel good in, invest in that place. Invest in the shoes. Invest in the waxing, you know, if you wanna get your eyebrows waxed or if you wanna have a facial, or, you know, in a very good bra if you appreciate your breasts and know that other people, too. Get a tan. Spray-tan; don't get out in the UV rays. If you really like your arms, wear the tank tops, wear the swimsuits, that are gonna feature those parts of your body when you're laying out poolside and feeling really good so that other people can enjoy those parts of you that you enjoy most. But let me tell you something that's I have learned over the years. When people look at us, it's not like when we look at ourselves in the mirror. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we tend to be our own worst critics. And so, when we look in a mirror, sometimes, we will zero right into that one spot that gives us the most anxiety or causes us the most concern. Because, you know, you may have your makeup on flawless or you may be having a great hair day and then you see a little blemish right here. That's all you're gonna see, right? Just that one little blemish that when you're out at Kroger or stopping at the Jiffy Lube to get your car oil replenished, nobody's even gonna see it. Because typically,excuse me, people see the whole self. They see you as a person more than, sometimes, we see ourselves as people. Isn't that crazy? It's the truth, though. It really is. So, I encourage you, when you start looking at yourself or seeing yourself, whether it just be in your mind's eye or if you're looking at yourself in the mirror, I challenge you to see yourself as the whole person from head to toe. See yourself as who you really are. See yourself, mind, body, and spirit. It's a lot easier to love yourself that way. It really is, when you know that you are a whole human being. You are not just a pair of breasts. You're not just a set of lips. You're not just hands. That is what our culture tells us. That's the cultural conditioning that we have. And, you know, that's what the marketers want us to think. They want us to think, you are this body part. You are that body part. We're a whole. Now, we may appreciate different parts of our body and then, that's, of course, that is a great thing. Hey, Banana, love you! Thank you for being here. And that's great, because we can love different parts of our body but this is not a meat market. We are not just limited to the parts of our body. We're a whole being, we're a whole soul. And so, don't let the marketers lie to you. Don't let them get into your brain and start making you see yourself as just that one little blemish or the freckles that you wanna hide. Don't fall for that. Because that's a billion-dollar industry that's trying to brainwash you, my friends. And we don't need to fall for their nonsense. We need to see ourselves as whole. So, again, I ask you to accept this challenge of when you think of yourself, when you daydream about yourself, when you look at yourself in the mirror, when you're looking at photographs of yourself, see the whole you, the whole unique you, not just parts of you. Also, what else do we do with our friends or our lovers? We have fun. So, have fun with our bodies. We need to have fun. Play, dance, sing. Again, go swimming. Meditate, pray. What brings you joy? Dance with your body, dance with your partner, sing. Netflix and chill. Self-pleasure, whatever. Whatever brings you joy is what you should be doing to help your body be your best friend and to be your greatest relationship. Because the two of you are together from the first day 'til your last and so, we wanna make sure that we're in tune with our bodies, that we're loving our bodies, we're enjoying them, we're listening to them, we're caring for them, and really being supportive of them, and that includes defending them and investing in those parts that we find the most important. And then, of course, we want leisure as well as work, so,excuse me, these Texas summer allergies are about to, whew,take me away. I got my red cup, my, you know, your red solo cup. It's not a party unless the red solo cups come out, right? Am I right or am I right? Does anybody have any questions? Y'all feel free to ask any kind of questions that y'all want to because I will be checking my chat stream and seeing what sort of things that I can answer for you if you have any questions or if you just wanna have a shout-out. Let's talk more about the practical ways that we can do the things that we've already discussed. We are just up at the half hour so, again, I wanna thank you. If you're joining us late, I am Micki Allen of Micki Allen Coaching. You can find me at mickiallencoaching.com. I am broadcasting to you from the great state of Texas where we have triple digits and the summer months are scorchers. When you have triple digits days and days in a row, I tell you, ugh, last week, we were having some roof work done, and the poor guy that was putting in the new, what are those things called? You know, those things that go on top of your roof? Yeah, anyway,when he was nailing those in, he hit one of our refrigerant lines and so our air-conditioning was out. It got to 93 degrees in this house. And let me tell you, 93 degrees, when you have three very large dogs and eight-plus cats and kittens running around, it is hot! So, you open the windows, right? 'Cause you think that the breeze is gonna give you a little bit of respite. Ha ha ha ha. We live by the woods and a lake, right? And so, guess what, all the pollen and all the ick come in so, yuck. I don't know about y'all, I'm actually a winter girl, because, for me, you can always layer and put on more clothes. Shingles, that's what they were doing. They were putting the shingles on the roof. Thank you, Kristen. Butthey, but when you're hot, how many clothes can you take off and still be, you know, considered decent in mixed company, right? So, you know, yeah, I'm a winter gal. But I do love summer in that, I mean, if I could just run around in a T-shirt and underwear all day long, I probably would, which may be more than you want to know. But now you know. Tell your friends. No, but tank tops, sundresses, sundresses are great. If you like wearing sundresses, I say go for it. I would have a closet full of sundresses if I could 'cause they're the easiest thing to put on. You don't even have to match anything. You don't even have to think about it, right? And with our newer fashion, guys have it really easy 'cause back in the day, I know, I sound like my grandmother, right? Butback in the day, everything had to be coordinated and match. No more, my friend. You can wear whatever you want. You can wear a T-shirt that's green and shorts that are orange and totally get away with it 'cause that's the way of the world today which I'm all for. Because, again, I love to dress for comfort. Most of my clothes look like pajamas. And yeah, and if I can wear pajamas 24/7, I probably would, or sundresses. Oh, and that brings up, that reminds me of something that I wanted to talk about. Shaving. Are you for it or against it? I'm just curious. Because back in the '70s, my mom was a bra-burning feminist and I love the fact that, and I see its resurgence. And I am loving it because I see these young people that are no longer shaving and they are going au naturel, and I love it. Embracing your natural self? That's san-frantastic. And so, you know, we're probably one of the few countries on this planet that is hyper-obsessed, we're so obsessed with it, we have what's called manscaping now and everybody feels like they have to be waxed and softened and buttered up like a baby's butt. I don't know. I don't know what that's all about. Again, it's, I'm gonna blame the marketers who are trying to sell you depilatories and razors and shave kits and waxing and all that other kinda hoopla. Anyway, thank you for supporting. Y'all are so great, I love you. First of all, since this is the first time that I'm doing this, I don't know if you can tell but I'm super nervous. But y'all are amazing and I love you for supporting me. I truly, truly do. I tell you, I've been watching O.school for a while now and I have fallen in love with the educators here. I hope it's okay that I'm taking a little sidebar, but I would really love for y'all to be sure, if you're here because I've invited you here, take a look at some of the other educators that are on here. This place is filled with brilliance. And I'm telling you, and it's sex-positive, it's inclusive, it is the most freeing experience to be, to know that you can come to a place with you can experience no shame, no blame, and get the truth, get scientific, health-positive, sex-positive advice and know that it's the truth, know that the informers, excuse me, that the information you're getting from the professionals here are on top of their game. They've lived it, they've learned it, they know it, and they're amazing. It's incredible, it's incredible, and I am just so proud to be a part of O.school because, you know, we need a place that we can go and know that we can ask questions and know that we can get the truth without any shame or embarrassment. Because that is unusual in this world, my friends, I'll tell you that. And so, I love the format that is O.school and I really love that you're here and I hope that you'll support the other educators that are here too because they are absolutely amazing. And one of my favorite gender-benders on the planet who is full of brilliance is Q and Q is going to be streaming right after I do so if you have an opportunity to tune in to Q, you will not be let down, you will not be disappointed. So, we're gonna be supportive of our bodies, we're gonna rock our bods at the pool parties and when we go to the beach. And speaking of going to the beach, when you're in the sun, please, please, please remember to wear the highest SPF that you are comfortable wearing. Because, you know, skin cancer, awful. Awful, awful, awful. I have two friends that have to deal with it. And while if you check yourself regularly and go, have your PCP check you out, go see a dermatologist if you need to, because the earlier the detection is, the better your chances are and the sooner you can take care of it and keep your body safe. So, I encourage you to put on the SPF and don't forget to put it if you wear makeup. Make sure you get makeup with SPF especially in those summer months. When you're out at the park or when you're at the lake or you're going to the beach or you're going to the pool parties and what have you, you really wanna make sure that your skin is protected. You've got beautiful skin, you wanna keep it that way. So, let's be lathering on and don't forget that once you go in the water, you're gonna have to reapply at some point, so just keep that in mind. Let's see. Any questions, does anybody have any questions? We have about 20 more minutes here. Oh my god, I know you don't want me to just drone on and on and on about SPF. Let's see, let me think. I did make some notes to myself. Oh, here's a good one: Surround yourself with positive people. This one is, for me, an easy one, because I am a woman of a certain age andI don't have a problem telling negative people that I don't need their vibes. But, you know, in your workplace or, you know, in your classes or, you know, at school or if you belong to another community or a church or organization, try to surround yourself with the people that already know your worth and who already know how beautiful you are. Because that is going to nurture your own body image and that's going to make you feel better about yourself. I am a Christian, I will say that. First and foremost, I am a Christian, and so, people sometimes get taken aback when I start talking about voodoo-hoodoo stuff. But I also believe that God created energy and I do believe that we do put out positive vibrations and negative vibrations. So, if we surround ourselves with people who are filled with positive energy, then that's going to be something that comes back to us. And so, as we're putting out those positive vibes, we're gonna be receiving those positive vibes and, you know, it's a win-win situation in those scenarios. So, be sure to surround yourself and protect yourself from that negative energy. Protect yourself as much as possible from people that are negative. Now, if you work with them and, you know, that's just how it is, that's okay. Just remind yourself, that person does not define you. Their opinions do not define you. They have neither the right nor the invitation to pass any sort of judgment on you in a personal way. So, just make sure that you are protecting yourself from that negative energy. Let's see. Kickshins: "If you have self-esteem issues "due to poor physical perception of your body, "what are some tips to improve that?" Oh, Eva, I love you so much! Okay, "any advice for dressing around "being sweaty for your age?" Hello! This is so funny 'cause Eva's usually there and I'm here and now I'm there and Eva's, okay, anyway, I'm so excited. Sorry for fangirling. Very good questions. All right, ooh, sweaty. I can't stand to sweat. You can ask Kickshins, who is a very good friend of mine. And he knows, I get furious because everyone in my family, and there are nine of us in this house, everyone in my family loves summer, loves hot, loves heat, and I can't stand it. I love to be cold. And I sweat in my own house! Nobody should be sweating in their own house. Okay. I'm gonna get off that soapbox now. But no one should be sweating in their own house. So, how do we, how can we do about that? First of all, now, some people don't like to use antiperspirants because they are worried that it may be not so great for their bodies, and I respect that, so get yourself a really great deodorant that you trust with your body. Otherwise, get a really good antiperspirant. And make sure you put that antiperspirant on. I also recommend body powders. Especially those of us who have the fuller figures and, you know, we curvy people, have to protect the body from the more icky, sweaty times. And so, don't be afraid to do that. It's a very timely question too, darling, because just so happened to get in the mail today. This is a body spray and it is amazing. I order it offline 'cause I can only get it online. But when you get hot, if you have a body fragrance that you like, this one uses only essential oils which is why I like it, 'cause it's 100% natural. Ahh, spray that on and it's so cooling and so refreshing. Find one that your skin loves because that will help. Oh my god, and I smell so good. And you can also get one that has mint. If you get something that has a mint in it or maybe like a peppermint, and you can get peppermints that have been processed to take the stingy part out or the hot part, to where you're just getting that refreshing mint feel. And those can really refresh your skin and make you feel good and make you feel like you're not so sweaty. And another one is, now, see, that big one? That's for after bath. But I have a little one that I carry around with me in my purse and there is no shame in giving yourself a little spritz here and there. Ohh, and it's so cooling and it feels so good. And so, that's a really good way to keep yourself refreshed. Be drinking lots and lots of water, especially when it's hot. First of all, you don't wanna get dehydrated because that is dangerous. Right, darlings? So, make sure you drink lots of water. Now, yes, I am the pot calling the kettle black 'cause I don't drink lots of water; I eat my water. I eat my water in ice in my drinks. But, I have actually started drinking water. I have, I really have. Probably 'cause it's summer and it's so darn hot, right? But, ice water, oh my god, I love it. Drink lots of water. That will also help you with the perspiration. Make sure you have a good deodorant. If you perspire quite a bit, make sure you get clothes that are going to hide that. And you can do that by wearing patterned clothing. Patterned clothings are much better at camouflaging sweat or sweat stains. And so, that is another way that it can be helpful because, you know, some people are like, oh, that's unsightly, I don't want my sweat stains to show. And I will tell you, I have a big problem, because, hello, any ladies out there or heavier guys out there who understand you get the under-breast sweat? Yeah, it's a real thing and it's a real pain in the butt, right? Powder, powder, okay? Make sureyou're using something that's going to absorb that. And baking, is it baking, no, it's not baking powder. That's crazy. It's not baking powder, it's something else. People use it on their toys. Why am I drawing a blank? It's something that you put on your toys. Okay, anybody who knows about toys? Where's Q when you need him? Yeah, so... Maybe, is it, it's not baking soda. What is it? All right, somebody's gonna have to help me out there. Now, if you have a poor physical perception of yourself, I say go to your friends that love you and will be honest with you and have a heart-to-heart talk with them, because they will probably help set you straight on, corn starch! Oh my god, I love you people, you're brilliant. Thank you so much. Yes, use a powder that has the corn starch in it so that, yes, I know Banana knows, so that we can protect, so that will whisk away, so to speak, the perspiration and also will absorb any other kind of humidity in the air as well. So, that's good, that's really good. But going to people and, or going to your friends, going to your loved ones, you know, they, if you ask them to be honest with you, they may be able to tell you, you know, what, if there's something about yourself that you want to work on or improve, go to someone who will be gentle and honest and loving with you. But more than likely, they're going to be able to show you that you're worried about something that no one else is worried about. And, you know, I'm not a licensed therapist in the body image, but God knows that I've lived with body images, of having a bad or positive, it's like a rollercoaster, right? I mean, sometimes, I've just felt like a big old mom blob, and other times, I'm like, hey, I am fat and fabulous and loving every minute of it. So, I mean, we have to be real with ourselves and realize that it's just a part of the human condition, that we're going to have good days and bad days. It's like living with any kind of chronic pain. As my dad would say, some days, it's the chicken, and some days, it's the feathers, and that's just how it is. And the more we can celebrate thechicken days and appreciate the days that we're feeling good and feeling like we're just rocking the world, the easier it will be for us to accept the feather days that just aren't that great. Because that's gonna happen. Everybody on this planet is gonna have a bad hair day at some point or another. I mean, not you, Kickshins, but there are some people who have bad hair days. And, hello, I can attest to that, although I do feel like I'm rocking the hair today. I took the time to straighten it so it's looking kinda good. I really feel like an Instagram girl right now. I apologize for that vanity. But, yeah, you know, again, it goes back to, we see parts of ourselves and we hyper-focus on those things that other may not even see, right? And so, you know, we have to realize that we're focusing unrealistically on things that so many other people just miss. Because in the real world, honestly, if you go to Wally World or Walmart or Sam's Club or the mall or somewhere big, for most people, you're just wallpaper, you know? You're just kinda walking by, minding your own business, really. The people who see us are gonna be more the people that really matter to us. And so, when they see us, they're not just, the people who matter in our lives don't just look at us as a body part. They look at us as the whole person. They see us as the whole loving, intellectual, funny person that we really are, and that's why they love us, that's why they want to be with us, that's why they wanna be around with us or be with us. And that spark, that something special that we have, typically is not coming from the outside, darling, it's not coming from the body. It's coming from our souls, our spirits, our minds, our intellect, whatever terminology you want to use. That which makes us specifically us is not external. It's not external. These are just our Earth suits. And I don't mean to be preaching. I am an ordained minister, but I'm not gonna preach to you. If you're a Christian, you know, it's God-given. If you're agnostic, you know, and just believe that it's a gift from the universe, or pagan, whatever your religion or non-religion is, hopefully, you know that you are here with a special purpose and hopefully, you know that that life force that is within you, whatever you call that life force, is what makes you uniquely you. It's really not your hair or your eyes or your breasts or your mouth or your feet or your toes, you know, or your booty. So, that's really, that life force is what's gonna draw other people to you and that's what is really important and what really, really counts. Now, when you have something that beautiful, yeah, you wanna put it in the prettiest package that you've got, right? And so, you know how to make yourself look good. You know what it takes to put something on either underneath or on the outside. You know the way that you wear your hair or the way that you do your makeup or the way that you wear your nails or the clothes that you wear or how you accessorize, you know, your wheelchair or your cain with the bling, however it is that you know that you are feeling good and really feeling special, that's what you do. And, again, that comes back to listening to your body. When you're feeling good, note, what is it that's making me feel really good today? Why do I feel especially sexy when it's 110 degrees outside? How does this bathing suit make me feel so good? I mean, how am I looking really good in this? Oh, and these shorts, I love the length of these shorts, this is great. Get three pair of those shorts. Fill your closet full of those shorts that make you feel good. Oh, these really define my ass and make me look really good. Get another pair. Wear them, exchange them, back and forth. You like a certain pair of sandals, if you have a pedicure, wear them, wear them. Why is it that the clothes we spend the most money on end up in our closet and we don't wanna wear them, we only wanna bring them out for special occasions? Hello! Every day we wake up is a special occasion. So, get your favorite outfit, get your favorite summer outfit out of the freaking closet, out of the bottom drawer, the ones that you like, the ones that make you smile when you see them, put those suckers on and rock them! Because that's what's gonna make you feel good. And that confidence is what makes you sexy. Am I right or am I right? Or am I right, right, right? Okay, well, I am entertaining myself. I hope that you found some entertainment from this, too. Y'all are amazing. I love you all. Thank you so, so much for being here to support me. I love you. Y'all are just generous hearts and I just really, really appreciate you, and especially those of you who are my Pleasure Professional peers, your being here just humbles me and I have such a great deal of respect for you. I thank you so much for taking the time to welcome me and make me feel welcome and let me know that I can do this. It's been such a joy. We only have a few more minutes and so, I just again wanna open the floor if we have any questions. Gold Bond, Sharon, oh my gosh! Sharon Peter is here! Ah! Okay, Sharon Peter's gonna be here in a couple hours live herself 'cause I saw she's on the calendar. Gold Bond or baby, oh, wait, I gotta go back. Oh, I lost it! Okay, Gold Bond, from Sharon Peter, brilliant, brilliant Sharon Peter: "Gold Bond or baby powder is good." And she says, "I also love silicone lube for chafing." Amen, sister. And let me tell you, for those of you who are friends that are in the kink community, if you wanna know how to get that latex on, silicone lube, slide that sucker right on. And you will feel good, you will not chafe, and it's wonderful. So, yes, great, great, great information from all of these brilliant, I love having smart friends. Thank y'all so much. Yes, y'all do rock. Every day we wake up is a special occasion. That is the truth. And I really appreciate you all. Thank you so, so much again for taking the time to come out. When you get that invitation to the pool party or to the beach barbecue or whatever is on your calendar for the rest of the summer, I hope that you will, with confidence and love, go out there and rock your bod, because you are special and I know that you know that you have what it takes to be sexy and sensual and just take great joy and pride in who you are, and that includes the beautiful package that you're in. Y'all have a great night.

Body Positivity for Summer

Date
Mon
Jul 9, 2018
|
2:00 pm
|
Calendar
Monday, July 9, 2018
|
2:00 pm

Summer fashions can sometimes send us on an emotional roller coaster. Let's explore feeling sexy in our skin and rockin' our bods in everything from swimsuits and sandals to sundresses and shorts.