The Sex Talk Your Mother Never Gave You: Using your Voice

An O.school fan said they wished their mother taught them how to use their voice and stand up for themself with problematic partners.

The Sex Talk Your Mother Never Gave You: Using your Voice

The Sex Talk Your Mother Never Gave You: Using your Voice

The Sex Talk Your Mother Never Gave You: Using your Voice

2 minute read

Let’s face it, “the birds and the bees talk” our moms gave us when we were young left much to be desired. 

In this stream, sex educator Lucia Pavone gives us the sex talk our parental figures never did.  

Pavone says while she’s happy her mother told her not to marry young and to just have fun, she wishes she’d been taught at least ten more things about sex, and about using her voice. 

Here are 10 things your mother never taught you about sex: 

  1. Masturbation is normal and a great way to explore your wants and needs. 
  2. If you’re a clitoris-owner, wash your hands and clip your fingernails before touching yourself. 
  3. Desires are important, and they’re valid.  
  4. Use your voice to communicate your desires, wants, and needs. Compliment your partner and yourself often.  
  5. Use your voice to listen. Listen to what your partner wants and doesn’t want. 
  6. Use your voice to tell your partner how they can best give you pleasure. Pavone says, “you can't expect someone else to give you what you want unless you know your body intimately and what feels good to you first.” 
  7. Use your voice to have great sensual experience because sex isn’t just about a climax. 
  8. Learn about STIs, use protection, get tested, and ask your partner questions about their sexual health. 
  9. Having sex during your period can be amazing. 
  10.  “Virginity is bullshit,” Pavone says. There’s no reason to hold on to it if you’re ready for sex, and all you need to do is ask for what you want. 

Pavone answers other questions about sex and sensuality, such as how to start conversations with kids around masturbation and shame, why pleasure-based sex education is so important, and how parental figures can model healthy relationship behaviors to kids. 

All in all, we can agree that our first conversations about sex should be way more comprehensive, because, as Pavone says, “knowledge is empowerment.”

Lucia Pavone

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Lucia Pavone is an international speaker, sex educator, and instructor of the art of sensual pleasure. She has spent years researching communication, intentional living and sensuality, and has experienced over 6,000 hours of Deliberate Embodied Orgasm (full-bodied, extended orgasm). On O.school Lucia supports women and couples to connect to their sensuality, love the body they are in and have a sex life worth bragging about.

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