The Queer Sex Ed You Never Got In School

What was your sex ed like in school?

The Queer Sex Ed You Never Got In School

The Queer Sex Ed You Never Got In School

The Queer Sex Ed You Never Got In School

2 minute read

Too many of us never got a queer sex education, which, let’s face it, is pretty cray. 

Here to change that is LGBTQ sex and pleasure educator Jess Melendez. In this stream, Melendez teaches us five topics related to queer sex education: sexuality, consent, prevention, body image, and media literacy. 

So, what is queer sex education exactly? It’s about including people of all genders, sexual orientations, races, ages, abilities, classes, and socioeconomic statuses. And it’s about creating a non-judgemental, shame-free, pleasure-focused, trauma-informed space. 

Here are 5 queer sex education topics you never learned in high school:  

1. Sexuality 

Human sexuality covers, sex, gender, and sexual orientation. Sex is assigned at birth based on your genitalia. Gender is a spectrum based on the sex you internally identify with, and your sexual orientation is who you’re attracted to, emotionally and/or physically. 

2. Consent 

Consent is the act of giving permission. This can be applied to all areas of life, not just for sex. “One really important thing about consent is that it should be authentic, it should be real,” says Melendez. Consent should be enthusiastic.  

3. Prevention 

Educate yourself about STIs, use safe sex barriers, get tested, and ask your partner(s) questions about their sexual health — if they’ve been tested, are on PrEP, taken PrEP before, etc. Be prepared with birth control methods, if needed. Melendez explains a variety of ways to stay safe, because the more you know, the better.  

4. Body Image 

Body image is how you feel about your body, your perception of your body, and how you think others perceive your body. 

5. Media Literacy 

Because body image is often influenced by images and messages we see in the media, it’s important to have media literacy. Representation matters, but, for example, we rarely see queer people of color or a queer person with a disabilty. It’s important to be able to say “those images or messages are not serving me,” if they aren’t making you feel good about yourself. 

“[...] when we're seeing representations of certain bodies, certain races, certain sexual orientations, certain abilities, that's gonna impact our sexual health whether you recognize it or not,” says Melendez. “So super, super important to be inclusive of all identities “ 

To get more information about queer sex education, watch Melendez’s stream or peruse some more articles on

Jess Melendez

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Pleasure Pro Jess teaches, among other topics, LGBTQ sex and pleasure education at Her time at an adult toy store has taught her how to facilitate shame-free conversations about pleasure, and today, working with folks to unlearn shame is Jess's aim in all her education work. She also teaches comprehensive sex education to youth.

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