It’s easy to get stuck in routines and forget to ritualize our sensory experiences. One way to get out of this, however, is to make a pleasure play-date — either with yourself or with a partner.
To have a pleasure play-dates, first, try setting an intentional time for when you are going to do something pleasurable. Try thinking about how you can make little things a game by inserting creativity and playfulness into every action. This does not have to translate to sexual activity necessarily. Your pleasure play-date could simply be a time where you get to paint, or play music. It can be playing make-believe with a partner or friend, and really leaning into your daydreams and fantasies. You could play video games, craft, do puzzles — anything that brings you joy and feels good. The goal is to ritualize these experiences, however, by focusing on the sensory experiences with intention.
A pleasure play-date can also be a sexual, solo experience. You can create a sexy environment for yourself by lighting candles, putting on music, and dressing up in lingerie. You can also try various masturbation techniques like edging — where you stimulate yourself to the point of orgasm, but stop just before you get there. Keep this going to make the orgasm that much more intense.
A pleasure play-date can also lead to sexy time with a partner. Playing make-believe could mean you dress up like a sexy spy wearing a trench coat, with nothing underneath. You can also just play hide-and-go-seek with your partner, or a consensual kissing tag game. Make a fort with your partner, and then have some sexy time in it. Cooking together can also be very intimate, as you can kiss and touch through the process, then set the table with candles, and feed each other.
You can get as creative as you want with a pleasure play-date, and Rafaella and Dalychia even suggest writing out a script with your partner and acting out a play. It can be something silly and fun, or it can be erotica. Readout loud to each other, and just get into it. You can have a drag day where you both dress as the opposite gender and do each other’s hair and makeup. You can do a sexy scavenger hunt, make dirty talk games, or you could play with sexy dice — dice you can buy, where each side has a sexy activity you have to do on a roll.
There are so many ways to have a pleasure play-date, and the way you choose to have fun with yourself or with a partner is entirely up to you. Just concentrate on the things that bring you joy, or make you feel sexy, and then set an intention with your activities to create the most pleasure and to heighten all those sensory activities. Most importantly, just have fun.