Oftentimes, we feel too embarrassed to approach our doctors about sex because we are afraid of judgement and/or we feel ashamed. Whatever the reason, it’s important to find ways to move past those feelings and to find a provider who makes you feel comfortable.

In this stream, pelvic health physical therapist Dr. Uchenna Ossai discusses how to talk to your doctor about sex. 

A good place to start is to find a healthcare provider, such as a gynecologist, who is sex-positive. Dr. Ossai suggests searching for organizations that are pro-uterus and vagina-owners, such as Planned Parenthood, the American Medical Association, Sex Positive Families, or communities such as Girls Gone Strong. 

Dr. Ossai then answers a number of questions, such as “Why is my labia itchy?” “Why do I squirt during sex?” and “Why am I having pain during sex?” Your sexual health is an indicator of your general health, so she says it’s important you bring up such concerns honestly with your doctor. 

Come to the doctor prepared, and write down your questions, and give them to your healthcare provider or a medical assistant who can help you talk about them. Make sure you’re honest and clear about what’s going on and why you want the issue addressed. Dr. Ossai says to remember your doctor is human too. They are hopefully doing their best, and if they can’t help you, they can refer you to someone who can. 

When it comes to bringing up potentially embarrassing concerns, such as “Why do I have gas during arousal and intercourse,” Dr. Ossai recommends calling ahead to explain the issue to a nurse or medical assistant, and saying something like “Hey, I’m having a lot of gas issues, but I’m really embarrassed to bring this up, and i really need to you to broach this with the doc.” The nurse can then chaperone your visit and help you talk about the issue with your provider. 

There are so many ways to talk to your doctor about your sexual health. Try to find the ones that work best for you, and persist until you get the answers you need. If you are still feeling nervous to speak to a doctor, start by finding a sex-positive organization that can help. Try to remember, your doctor has likely heard it all before anyway … more than once.