How To Get The Most Out Of Dating Apps

Grindr, Tinder, Bumble, Don’t Stumble. Join SNJ as she tells you about getting engaged after meeting on an app. The Do’s and Don’ts of swiping Mx Right!

How To Get The Most Out Of Dating Apps

How To Get The Most Out Of Dating Apps

How To Get The Most Out Of Dating Apps

3 minute read

Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, Hinge, Lesly — there are so many apps out there, it can be hard to know which dating app is right for you and how to use them successfully.

In this stream, sex educator SisteRNurse Joy (SNJ) — who met their fiance on Grindr — teaches us how to get the most out of dating apps.

Before using an app, think about what you want out of the experience. Do you want a hookup? A date? A potential relationship? Not sure? All of the above? The beauty of dating apps is they all have slightly different angles and approaches to connecting you with people. This doesn’t have to limit the way you use them, however. You might be on Grindr, Tinder, or Scruff because they’re good for hookups, but end up in a relationship with someone you find there. You might be on OkCupid, eHarmony, Match, or Coffee Meets Bagel for a relationship and end up finding an amazing friend with benefits. You might use any one of these apps and have a totally awkward experience, and never want to see the person again. You never know.

Getting to know the theme of the app can also be a good way to filter for the kind of person you want. If you’re queer, for example, an app such as Grindr may be right for you. If you identify as a lesbian or bisexual, you could try Lesly. There are also more niche apps, such as Fetlife, which connects people within the kink and polyamorous communities.

This kind of curation has its upsides but certainly has its downsides, too: People may take this in a darker direction to discriminate against those they don’t want to associate with. For example, a person may specify on their dating profile they don’t want “fats” or “femmes.” Some people are discriminatory when it comes to height, age, and even race. The good news is you can just swipe “no” on anyone who doesn’t outwardly gel with your values or wants.

Being upfront about who you are and what you’re looking for is also a good way to filter. OkCupid, for example, lets you select a gender identity that fits you best, whether that’s non-binary, agender, bigender, androgynous, or anything else. If you’re a person with a disability, you may want to include a photo of you in a mobility device, or talk about your disability in your bio — it’s up to you. SNJ comments that apps can also be an opportunity to practice communicating about your sexuality, boundaries, wants and needs. Some apps have fields where you can note your relationship status, and some apps even allow you a space to reveal your last testing date and/or HIV status so you can practice safer sex.

Most importantly, when using dating apps it’s important to be safe. Consider meeting in a public space or letting a friend know where and when you’ll be meeting if it’s in a private space. Throughout any experience, be sure consent is given and that everyone knows consent can be withdrawn at any point.

Dating apps can be a fun way to meet people, have sex, or even find the loves of your life. It’s up to you how you use them, but doing a little research can help curate the experience to up your chances you’ll find what you’re looking for.

SisteRNurseJoy

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

SisteRNurseJoy is a Drag Queen Emergency RN, BSN serving doses of joy, laughter, acceptance, and non-judgmental sex education in the Pacific Northwest and on O.school.

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