How To Choose A Dildo

Silicone, glass, and metal, oh my! How does one decide the type(s) of dildo to choose for their body? Talking about dildos is an everyday thing for Jess, #slingingdildos. What’s good for G-Spots? Prostate? Temperature? Come get your questions answered.

How To Choose A Dildo

How To Choose A Dildo

How To Choose A Dildo

3 minute read

People use dildos for all kinds of purposes: anal stimulation, vaginal penetatration, or even to practice blow jobs on. But there are so many types of dildos out there, choosing the right sex toy can be difficult. 

In this stream, sex educator Jess Melendez helps us learn how to choose a dildo

When choosing a dildo, it’s important to first consider safety. Check the material as dildos can be made out jelly, metal, glass, crystal, silicone, or even wood. Melendez suggests avoiding jelly dildos as they have phthalates chemicals. Be wary of buying cheaply made toys, like from off-brand online sites or even from Amazon. But if you can’t afford a high-quality dildo, ensure your safety by using a condom on your toy. Be sure to clean your toys with safe substances, too. 

To clean your toy safely, avoid antibacterial soap, like dishwasher detergent as it may not interact well with your body. Some stores sell toy cleaner, but you could also sterilize some times, particularly ones made of silicone, by boiling it in a pot of water — just be sure to remove the bullet vibrator if it has one. You can also use wipes or more mild soaps like Dial or Dove. Don’t be afraid to lube up your dildo, but be wary of using silicone lube with silicone toys. To be safe, use a water- or oil-based lube instead. 

If you’re buying your first dildo, consider how you plan to use it. Do you want it for anal play? Vaginal insertion? Is it for partnered or solo play? Do you want a strap-on or a double-ended dildo? Do you want a phallic-looking dildo, or not? Do you want a large, girthy dildo or a small one to start? Do you want a hollow dildo you can put your penis inside as an extender? All of this just depends on your preferences and experience level, and you can find a dildo to fit your specific needs. Melendez recommends SheVibe or New York Toy Collective, which is an affordable adult store with many dildo options. 

Melendez then demonstrates a few toys, such as a silicone dildo called Silk 3 by Tantus. Silicone is flexible and can move with your body. So if you’re contracting during orgasm, the dildo will move with you. She then demonstrates another toy made of dual density silicone, which means it has two layers of silicone making it feel more like a penis with a firm core and soft outside. If you’re looking for something meant for anal, make sure the bottom has a base so it won’t fall into the anus. 

Finding the right dildo for you should be fun as experimentation is half the process. Think about the kind of stimulation you want, the materials that’ll be safe for your body and feel good, and then go to town. If you’re buying a toy at an adult store don’t be afraid to ask questions! Employees will help you find something right for you.

Jess Melendez

Reviewed for Medical Accuracy

Pleasure Pro Jess teaches, among other topics, LGBTQ sex and pleasure education at O.school. Her time at an adult toy store has taught her how to facilitate shame-free conversations about pleasure, and today, working with folks to unlearn shame is Jess's aim in all her education work. She also teaches comprehensive sex education to youth.

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