Let’s talk about anal. Whether you love it, wanna try it, or are just curious about the booty, there’s tons to learn.
Lots of times, when we think about anal, we assume there’s gonna be some amount of penetration. Matatas points out that sometimes external play is all you need to get going. After all, there’s tons of nerves around the anus that make touching super stimulating.
For some, the added element of the anus feeling “off limits” or taboo only makes the experience even better. Others experience shame around anal play as it’s seen as a deviant act. But we can work to normalize anal play by understanding the anus as just another sex organ to explore. After all, the asshole is the great gender-neutralizer — we all have one.
“Anal sex can be incredibly sensual and romantic and affectionate,” says Matatas. “It can also be very intimate.”
Matatas explains the anatomy of the anus, and why insertion may be difficult for some, regardless of how much lube they have or how often they are told to “just relax.” The area around the anus, however, can be very erogenous and it can feel great to just stay on the outside.
If you’re going for penetration, you should incorporate three very important things: communication, lube, and patience. Talk to your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. Communicate any discomfort, for example, you’ll want to tell your partner if you feel a burning sensation because that can be a sign of micro-tearing anal tissue. Use lots of lube since the anus is not self-lubricating, and be patient throughout the process. Sometimes penetration can happen easily, other times it takes a bit of work.
Matatas talks about the different types of toys you can try, how you can stretch or fill up your asshole, how to prepare for anal sex so you’re clean and open for business, etc.
All in all, there are so many parts in and around the anus to explore — the G spot for penis owners, the perineum, the skin around the anus, etc. Have fun with it, use toys, touch your genitals while playing with your butthole. Just do what feels good and keep exploring if you’re into it. And if it’s your first time trying anal, you can always check out these seven tips for first time anal.